Most ridiculous thing heard on the range

[fly47]

not ridiculous but funny. an older guy was giving a lesson to a younger lady next to me. not sure he was a teaching pro as much as he was just a 'friend' of hers. at one point i hear him say: golf is a lot like sex; the more you play and the better you get, the more enjoyable the sport becomes. when they were finished and about to leave, i asked him if he had anymore of those wise analogies. she looked quite embarrassed and he apologized.

 

 

" you must be really good"... is what I hear when asked how often I play.3-5 days a week. . Little do they know the anxiety of not being able to break 80 anymore, slicing, shanking, 3 putting etc.,etc/.etc.

[crypt]

Back when I had a trainer, during one lesson, I distinctly remember the lesson when he told me to aim for the man that was cleaning the range.

[Chandler96]

I was on the range warming up before my round yesterday and saw two older guys finishing the round and got to talking to them for a few and one guy had scratches all over I guess he didn't want to lose his first ball of the season and went through some very thick brush to get it I got a kick out of that

[carn9698]

My glutes are misfiring today

[cliffhanger]

A couple of ranges opened yesterday in the area and was able to hit balls for the first time outside since November... a few indoor sim sessions held me over. Of course the range was full of hopeful golfers, some with some obvious rust and others you could tell had that look of continued dismay from last season... a few guys were hitting some good shots and then there were the two middle aged men two stalls over from me... they were taking turns hitting a handful of shots each and after each shot the one watching would critique the one swinging... on and off i was taking breaks from hitting shots and would listen in on the countless comments coming from them... the best part... never were they the same, after hitting 20-30 shots and hearing "you came out of that one", "you leaned back", "you stood up". "you looked up", "you came across it"... i can't imagine hitting shots with 30 plus things rolling through your mind.

[TheDorkKnight]

My glutes are misfiring today

 

Tell your husband to give them a nice massage. That should do the trick.

[diabolo]

Idiot: "Hey is that the new M1?"

Me: "Yes"

Idiot: "do you mind if I give it it a hit? I'm thinking of getting one"

Me: "I'm left handed"

Idiot: "and?"

Me: "you're right handed. Can you play left handed?"

Idiot: "how do you know I am right handed?"

Me: "because you've been hitting balls right handed two bays down from me for the last 30 minutes, and you're currently wearing a glove on your left hand"

Idiot: "ok I am right handed. I haven't ever tried to play left handed, but I probably could"

Me: "yeah, um, no. I think you should go in to the shop and ask to try a demo M1"

Idiot: "what if they haven't got one?"

Me: (getting exasperated) "then I guess you can't try one"

Idiot: "but you've got one, and you won't let me try it"

Me: "that's because it's left handed and you're right handed"

Idiot: "what difference does that make?"

Me: "seriously?"

Idiot: "I'll let you try mine in return?"

Me: "I don't want to try yours"

Idiot: "why not?"

Me: "because it's right handed"

 

It went on for another 5 minutes. Needless to say he didn't get to try my driver. :russian_roulette:

 

LMAO... after the first mention of "Lh vs Rh", I would have turned around and continue my range session.

[jmill88]

I thought I've heard everything until tonight. A guy was hitting what I thought was a R1 with fubuki. He told his buddies it was a clone but it was so good the company had to get tmag's permission. Most clones according to him did not need permission because TMAG is not too worried they will out sale the real deal. Lots more comic gold followed.

I was playing a local public course that has bent grass fairways and a guy on the practice green was telling his buddy about them. He said they don't mow them, they just roll over them to bend the grass.

[stdavis22]

I saw a guy walk up in full on sunday tournament regalia..i mean dressed to the t**** in titleist stuff, brand new massive titleist bag, brand new titleist clubs...he walks out to the grass area and proceeds to shank or top every ball out of a 120 bucket in about 20 minutes. he walks by me on the way out and tells me "you'll never make the tour with a swing like that" I was like WTF? go home watch the golf channel and fondle yourself

[RuffingIt]

not at a range, but in the open hitting bays at Roger Dunn. Spent my lunch break demo'ing clubs, and guy comes into the open bay in front of me with a driver. DIdn't pay too much attention when he walked up and took his first swing...until he popped one off and straight up said, "that's 300 for sure." His buddy comes in right as the monitor spits out 210yards. MMmmk...

 

Guy continues to swing for the fences with no better results, and turns to his buddy and asks him, "hey, can you find me something with a little less loft they're going way too high?" His buddy goes out to search the used driver bins, and guy starts to top every forthcoming hit. Mind u, i can see his tracers from where i am. Duck hooks, road runners...and I'm thinking in my head, ya definitely a loft issue. :rolleyes:

 

If i didnt have to get back to work, i'd stick around longer to hear the friend talk about the Jason Day and the M1. More power to the store if they made money from them.

[Mulligan26]

not at a range, but in the open hitting bays at Roger Dunn. Spent my lunch break demo'ing clubs, and guy comes into the open bay in front of me with a driver. DIdn't pay too much attention when he walked up and took his first swing...until he popped one off and straight up said, "that's 300 for sure." His buddy comes in right as the monitor spits out 210yards. MMmmk...

 

Guy continues to swing for the fences with no better results, and turns to his buddy and asks him, "hey, can you find me something with a little less loft they're going way too high?" His buddy goes out to search the used driver bins, and guy starts to top every forthcoming hit. Mind u, i can see his tracers from where i am. Duck hooks, road runners...and I'm thinking in my head, ya definitely a loft issue. :rolleyes:

 

If i didnt have to get back to work, i'd stick around longer to hear the friend talk about the Jason Day and the M1. More power to the store if they made money from them.

 

Sounds like it was absolutely a LOFT issue... Lack of F****** Talent.

[Jasonic]

Was hitting in a bay the other day and this older gentleman starts hitting next to me. I swear he never hit the ball straight or more than 50 yards or more than 10 feet off the ground, all through the bag. I'm hitting to some short yardage markers with my SW, low controlled shots and doing pretty good when he stands behind me for a few and says, you're swinging all wrong you need to get the club under the ball completely. I say ok sir, thanks. He watches a couple more and says see what I mean, you're not swinging right. I had just hit the 50 yard marker twice in a row. I said excuse me sir thanks but I got it. He laughs and says again I have no clue. I said you have to hit down to get it up in the air, it's impossible to get the club under it, especially on a mat. He said I was crazy. I then challenged him to a friendly pitching contest and he just walked off and left in a huff. Why are people so weird?

[98rzvr6]

I just dont like when random people try to tell me how to get better especially when they cant hit the ball themselves

[PapaJohick]

Finally have something to ad here haha.

 

Teaching guy at the course i frequent for practice. Kid in high school who is a pretty good player is working with him. Gave him some interesting pointers on putting that I didn't quite understand. May have been good advice but he didn't exactly get it across very well. Anywho, this kid has been playing pretty well lately and he is up for some looks from some D1 schools. Teaching pro says to him," man did you catch any of the tournament yesterday? I mean you could be like a T. Merrit. He's kind of a not so great player and he made 400k yesterday. You hit the ball way better than he does man."

 

Hats when I almost had to interrupt. Kid is good but his past few rounds have been around par and these are on courses for high school tournaments. Merrit shot 5 birdies in a row yesterday and besides the 9th and 18th probably would have won haha. I just laughed and kept my head down.

[Jonnybagadonuts]

so I had a old guy come up to me the other day at the range . He was more or less just there to strike a conversation with random people which I have nothing against because old guys like that remind me of my grandad .

 

He was admiring my swing and ball flight and suddenly asked if he could hit one . I didn't mind all the while thinking to myself ( he is going to hurt himself or make a fool of himself ) , as he seemed to have a hard time simply grasping the club .

 

 

He sets up to the ball full hunchback , long slouchy arms , takes one look at the target and Gos full Ben hogan on me . He float loads the club and hits one of the prettiest little push draws I've seen in a while .

 

He turns around , takes a couple hobbled steps toward me and says " practice makes perfect " and Gos on to bother more people on the range . I was just sitting there in shock lol . One to remember .

[awil]

Finally have something to ad here haha.

 

Teaching guy at the course i frequent for practice. Kid in high school who is a pretty good player is working with him. Gave him some interesting pointers on putting that I didn't quite understand. May have been good advice but he didn't exactly get it across very well. Anywho, this kid has been playing pretty well lately and he is up for some looks from some D1 schools. Teaching pro says to him," man did you catch any of the tournament yesterday? I mean you could be like a T. Merrit. He's kind of a not so great player and he made 400k yesterday. You hit the ball way better than he does man."

 

Hats when I almost had to interrupt. Kid is good but his past few rounds have been around par and these are on courses for high school tournaments. Merrit shot 5 birdies in a row yesterday and besides the 9th and 18th probably would have won haha. I just laughed and kept my head down.

http://m.startribune.com/merritt-shoots-67-to-win-quicken-loans-national-by-3-shots/320436962/

 

Just saying you never know until you know

[Mulligan26]

Finally have something to ad here haha.

 

Teaching guy at the course i frequent for practice. Kid in high school who is a pretty good player is working with him. Gave him some interesting pointers on putting that I didn't quite understand. May have been good advice but he didn't exactly get it across very well. Anywho, this kid has been playing pretty well lately and he is up for some looks from some D1 schools. Teaching pro says to him," man did you catch any of the tournament yesterday? I mean you could be like a T. Merrit. He's kind of a not so great player and he made 400k yesterday. You hit the ball way better than he does man."

 

Hats when I almost had to interrupt. Kid is good but his past few rounds have been around par and these are on courses for high school tournaments. Merrit shot 5 birdies in a row yesterday and besides the 9th and 18th probably would have won haha. I just laughed and kept my head down.

 

The kid won't know until he tries play with the big boys. Most people don't fully grasp how good those guys are unless they've played with them.

[PapaJohick]

Finally have something to ad here haha.

 

Teaching guy at the course i frequent for practice. Kid in high school who is a pretty good player is working with him. Gave him some interesting pointers on putting that I didn't quite understand. May have been good advice but he didn't exactly get it across very well. Anywho, this kid has been playing pretty well lately and he is up for some looks from some D1 schools. Teaching pro says to him," man did you catch any of the tournament yesterday? I mean you could be like a T. Merrit. He's kind of a not so great player and he made 400k yesterday. You hit the ball way better than he does man."

 

Hats when I almost had to interrupt. Kid is good but his past few rounds have been around par and these are on courses for high school tournaments. Merrit shot 5 birdies in a row yesterday and besides the 9th and 18th probably would have won haha. I just laughed and kept my head down.

 

The kid won't know until he tries play with the big boys. Most people don't fully grasp how good those guys are unless they've played with them.

THe kid wasn't saying it at all haha. I just thought it was hilarious that the teaching pro suggested that this kid was already better than a top 100 golfer in the world

[KnightPS]

I just dont like when random people try to tell me how to get better especially when they cant hit the ball themselves

 

When I get unsolicited advice at the range, I ask the offender to demonstrate. Ends the conversation pretty quickly.

[Judge440]

"I don't get it. I just shot two over on my Optishot."

[InTheRoughAgain]

The guy today at the range!...Walked in with a hot chick, both to cool to say Hi.

 

He told the girl "to watch this" so that everybody on the range can hear it and topped the ball for 10 ft max :-) The next one was a shank, follwed by a slice and then two hooks. After that he hit is iron 50 yds max...when he was finished I still chuckled as he went by and told me to "look after my left arm"...I'm still smiling thinking about it :-)

[Barnacle]

Back when I had a trainer, during one lesson, I distinctly remember the lesson when he told me to aim for the man that was cleaning the range.

 

Too be fair that is how I line up my driver if someone is in the middle of the fairway. I say a short prayer hoping they are further than I drive the ball and swing away. I think I've only hit like 2 or 3 people this way and never on the fly. :swoon:

[Thug Hunter]

Worst slicer ever hitting next to me saying "Why can't I hit my draw?" as he stands in disbelief. I almost laughed out loud.

[Drudersh]

Back when I had a trainer, during one lesson, I distinctly remember the lesson when he told me to aim for the man that was cleaning the range.

 

Too be fair that is how I line up my driver if someone is in the middle of the fairway. I say a short prayer hoping they are further than I drive the ball and swing away. I think I've only hit like 2 or 3 people this way and never on the fly. :swoon:

 

This is my process for hitting into a fairway with a bunker in the middle of it. Aim straight for it, and there is no way I'll hit it in there. It's got like a 99% success rate.

[3_Jack_Par]

Back when I had a trainer, during one lesson, I distinctly remember the lesson when he told me to aim for the man that was cleaning the range.

 

Too be fair that is how I line up my driver if someone is in the middle of the fairway. I say a short prayer hoping they are further than I drive the ball and swing away. I think I've only hit like 2 or 3 people this way and never on the fly. :swoon:

 

This is my process for hitting into a fairway with a bunker in the middle of it. Aim straight for it, and there is no way I'll hit it in there. It's got like a 99% success rate.

Same thing for punching out of the trees. Aim at a tree instead of the opening. Works every time.

[Terry Gold]

The guy today at the range!...Walked in with a hot chick, both to cool to say Hi.

 

He told the girl "to watch this" so that everybody on the range can hear it and topped the ball for 10 ft max :-) The next one was a shank, follwed by a slice and then two hooks. After that he hit is iron 50 yds max...when he was finished I still chuckled as he went by and told me to "look after my left arm"...I'm still smiling thinking about it :-)

 

Smug hack w/ attractive lady friend projects on you by saying 'look after your left arm" while he's leaving?.... Dude beautifully set you up to nail two birds with one stone!

[Mad_Lobber]

A newbie just kept topping ball after ball on the range, while he was taking a lesson from some random guy (giving illegal lessons on the range).

The newbie then told the guy "It's these clubs I bought on Craigslist, they are pure crap."

The guy then said "No, all clubs are equal, let's go putt."

[dan360]

Hit balls today on the range for a bit with three high school's worth of girl's golf teams. The amount of things I heard that made me think 'whiskey tango foxtrot oscar' could fill a dump truck.

[MilesVJackson]

Some guy comes up to me at the range today and tells me he won some Word not allowed old driver in a cribbage game. Here's the ridiculous part: he asks me (the bogey golfer) to give him advice about how to hit a decent shot with it. I encouraged him to book a lesson with the golf pro!

[AUS_backintheswing]

This is often heard at the range in Darwin. "Why is golf so easy and why am I such a flusher"