Hole-in-one question for you guys

[Hawkeye77]

Your idea is a good one and you have done more than enough.

 

My first one was on a Saturday morning, when we were done I told the guys in my group if they could keep it quiet in the clubhouse I'd buy them lunch and the drink of their choice.  Perfect.

 

My second one was a league night, lol.  I just went to the bar manager and told her everybody in league could have one drink, I didn't care what it was, to keep track and I'd settle up the next day.  She actually discounted it 20% when she presented me the bill.  Everybody was happy, I was happy to pay.

 

I got my double eagle on a league night and at some point after the round while some of us were in the bar/restaurant eating someone started up a half-hearted argument that since they were rarer than holes in one maybe I should buy some drinks - I just laughed it off, I'm sure plenty of comments we're exchanged and nobody cared.

 

Always some jackasses in any group, don't let 'em get you down, you've done it right.

[Hawkeye77]

By the way, forget about the drinks ...... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LeftDaddy]

Adding in a bit of a “final” update here. 
 

I chatted with the clubhouse manager, and told her to put the next round of drinks with my playing partners from that day on me. And I ended up buying one of the super pricey bottles of wine that the vocal group had prepaid for. I’m also thinking of buying a bottle of bourbon and just setting it on a table in the Men’s grill with a note about “Enjoy on my hole in one”. And I paid my caddie a ransom that day, too. So all in, this HIO probably cost me almost $500. I feel that is more than generous, and I consider my side of the case to be closed. I.e. I can sleep well knowing I did more than enough to allow others to celebrate my HIO. 
 

Now, a couple of last thoughts. This whole HIO tradition is even dumber than I originally thought before I experienced it myself. I’ve basically struggled to enjoy it since it happened because of trying to ensure I was doing what was “expected” of me after making a HIO. And a few of the guys at the club almost seemed to want to make it as painful as possible in the moment, by imploring me to buy them pricey bottles of wine when they had drinks already paid for otherwise. In fact, I said earlier that I ended up buying one of their bottles of wine...well, that is technically true but they apparently put it on my tab after I left that day and after I chatted with the clubhouse manager. I agreed to it when I talked to her because it just made things simpler for me, but it honestly ticks me off that they have essentially ruined what should be an amazing moment for me. I couldn’t even “drink it up” that day, because I knew if I did the floodgates would have been opened by the intoxicated ones for this expensive top shelf stuff they were enjoying. I almost told the clubhouse manager to take the wine off of my tab because of how they handled it, but figured a couple hundred bucks wasn’t worth going to war over, and it will allow me to sleep well knowing I did more than enough. 
 

Anyway, I wish I had been more prepared prior to it happening so that I could have taken care of the situation in a way that didn’t make me wonder what I was obligated to do or not, and / or to appease the boisterous mob. It all happened so fast that day. But I’m moving on, and will try to have nothing but fond memories of my first HIO and will try to forget the stupid stuff that went along with it. 

[chasethebirdie]

Handled it perfectly. Congrats on the HIO!

[klebs01]

52 minutes ago, LeftDaddy said:

Adding in a bit of a “final” update here. 
 

I chatted with the clubhouse manager, and told her to put the next round of drinks with my playing partners from that day on me. And I ended up buying one of the super pricey bottles of wine that the vocal group had prepaid for. I’m also thinking of buying a bottle of bourbon and just setting it on a table in the Men’s grill with a note about “Enjoy on my hole in one”. And I paid my caddie a ransom that day, too. So all in, this HIO probably cost me almost $500. I feel that is more than generous, and I consider my side of the case to be closed. I.e. I can sleep well knowing I did more than enough to allow others to celebrate my HIO. 
 

Now, a couple of last thoughts. This whole HIO tradition is even dumber than I originally thought before I experienced it myself. I’ve basically struggled to enjoy it since it happened because of trying to ensure I was doing what was “expected” of me after making a HIO. And a few of the guys at the club almost seemed to want to make it as painful as possible in the moment, by imploring me to buy them pricey bottles of wine when they had drinks already paid for otherwise. In fact, I said earlier that I ended up buying one of their bottles of wine...well, that is technically true but they apparently put it on my tab after I left that day and after I chatted with the clubhouse manager. I agreed to it when I talked to her because it just made things simpler for me, but it honestly ticks me off that they have essentially ruined what should be an amazing moment for me. I couldn’t even “drink it up” that day, because I knew if I did the floodgates would have been opened by the intoxicated ones for this expensive top shelf stuff they were enjoying. I almost told the clubhouse manager to take the wine off of my tab because of how they handled it, but figured a couple hundred bucks wasn’t worth going to war over, and it will allow me to sleep well knowing I did more than enough. 
 

Anyway, I wish I had been more prepared prior to it happening so that I could have taken care of the situation in a way that didn’t make me wonder what I was obligated to do or not, and / or to appease the boisterous mob. It all happened so fast that day. But I’m moving on, and will try to have nothing but fond memories of my first HIO and will try to forget the stupid stuff that went along with it. 

Good for you moving on. I think you’ve been overly generous. Them putting an expensive bottle of wine on your account without prior approval is VERY poor form. Should have taken it off. 
 

The HIO insurance options make this much simpler. Club takes care of everything and it’s all spelled out ahead of time. Might want to suggest that to your club. 

[Abh159]

1 hour ago, LeftDaddy said:

In fact, I said earlier that I ended up buying one of their bottles of wine...well, that is technically true but they apparently put it on my tab after I left that day and after I chatted with the clubhouse manager. I agreed to it when I talked to her because it just made things simpler for me, but it honestly ticks me off that they have essentially ruined what should be an amazing moment for me. I couldn’t even “drink it up” that day, because I knew if I did the floodgates would have been opened by the intoxicated ones for this expensive top shelf stuff they were enjoying. I almost told the clubhouse manager to take the wine off of my tab because of how they handled it, but figured a couple hundred bucks wasn’t worth going to war over, and it will allow me to sleep well knowing I did more than enough. 

 

A somewhat similar thing happened at my friend's club a little while back. Guy made a hole in one and a few of the more "obnoxious" members decided to put all of their drinks and several bottles that day on his tab without telling him. 

 

It cause a pretty big stink and the end result was the guy refused to pay the $1000+ bill. Now they're required to sign for anything they put on their club account even if it's just a soda and a granola bar. According to him the whole thing has become a huge pain in the a**, but I guess there are always those few people that insist on ruining things for everyone else.... 

[Hawkeye77]

Way more than generous, OP! 

[LeftDaddy]

I think there’s a bit of a “tradition” at this club that a HIO is costly...$500 to $2k bar bills apparently. And I think it bothered some of the more vocal ones that mine occurred on a day when the house-drinks bar tab was already included in the event (the club was closed other than the event). So here I am naively thinking that I’ve gotten off pretty lucky by having my HIO occur on open bar day, when apparently a few others felt like that meant they could buy whatever top shelf drinks they wanted. In retrospect I would have plunked down 2 bottles of bourbon and told everyone to have a good time. But in the moment I’ve got 3 or 4 already drunk members telling me and everyone around them that I’m paying for some expensive stuff and this is really going to hurt. I felt like I had to control that narrative somewhat, and to keep my tab from becoming open game for anyone dying to buy a fancy bottle of wine. 
 

Anyway, I did talk to the clubhouse manager and a founding member that day about what to do and we agreed on a plan. I did say that I was willing to buy a few bottles of whatever as long as the price was reasonable. I thought the plan made sense. But a few of the vocal ones wouldn’t let it go. 
 

But we executed the plan...the guys got their top shelf alcohol, my playing group has a drink waiting on them, and I survived what could have been a painful bar tab and “mostly” met the expectations of the mob. I’m sure I’ll get some ribbing for it later, but I’m now confident I did more than was “required” of me. I still think this tradition of the player making the HIO having to buy hundreds of dollars of drinks for everyone in the clubhouse is completely asinine and ruins an otherwise fun moment. But thanks to all of you for weighing in and helping me figure out how best to navigate it!  I appreciate it!

[golfortennis]

I still think course owners planted this one out there to goose sales.  I agree, it's stupid.  

 

I'd have told the loudmouths to go pound sand.  Cause here's a tip:  you're going to have someone at the club who doesn't like you.  Doesn't matter, that many people, someone won't like you.  If it's because you wouldn't spring for their ridiculous "requests", well, I doubt you'll have trouble sleeping at night.  You obviously want to make sure to avoid a situation where no one likes you at the club, but I highly doubt the fact a couple of yahoos drunk out of their minds will influence enough people.  And if anyone thinks less of you because you wouldn't pony up for that, well, that is their issue, not yours.  You don't need those people.

 

I think (trying to recall when one my buddies scored an ace while I was playing with him) our club lets you decide when you use the credit and who you use it with.  I know a few guys kept going on about free drink, but I don't know that he ever bought for them.   I think it's fair someone can decide who is getting drinks.

Edited April 1, 2021 by golfortennis

[2bGood]

Our club has HIO insurance. If you make one you have an automatic tab that covers about 80 drinks. Once you order your first drink everyone in the clubhouse get to drink off that tab (one drink at a time). This make sense to me.

 

When you have HIO insurance insurance (that is paid for by all members) I tend to think you should not be able to handpick who gets the drink and it should be whoever is there. 

[2bGood]

22 hours ago, LeftDaddy said:

I think there’s a bit of a “tradition” at this club that a HIO is costly...$500 to $2k bar bills apparently. And I think it bothered some of the more vocal ones that mine occurred on a day when the house-drinks bar tab was already included in the event (the club was closed other than the event). So here I am naively thinking that I’ve gotten off pretty lucky by having my HIO occur on open bar day, when apparently a few others felt like that meant they could buy whatever top shelf drinks they wanted. In retrospect I would have plunked down 2 bottles of bourbon and told everyone to have a good time. But in the moment I’ve got 3 or 4 already drunk members telling me and everyone around them that I’m paying for some expensive stuff and this is really going to hurt. I felt like I had to control that narrative somewhat, and to keep my tab from becoming open game for anyone dying to buy a fancy bottle of wine. 
 

Anyway, I did talk to the clubhouse manager and a founding member that day about what to do and we agreed on a plan. I did say that I was willing to buy a few bottles of whatever as long as the price was reasonable. I thought the plan made sense. But a few of the vocal ones wouldn’t let it go. 
 

But we executed the plan...the guys got their top shelf alcohol, my playing group has a drink waiting on them, and I survived what could have been a painful bar tab and “mostly” met the expectations of the mob. I’m sure I’ll get some ribbing for it later, but I’m now confident I did more than was “required” of me. I still think this tradition of the player making the HIO having to buy hundreds of dollars of drinks for everyone in the clubhouse is completely asinine and ruins an otherwise fun moment. But thanks to all of you for weighing in and helping me figure out how best to navigate it!  I appreciate it!

Sounds like you did a great job of handling it.

 

Not sure how the tradition started, but culturaly it is interesting that some occasions expect the person celebrating to buy gifts for others (HIO - Drinks, Baby - Cigars, Wedding - meal and drinks, Promotion- Drinks, Funeral (not celebrating but it is odd when you think about who is supposed to pay for the gatherings etc) ) While other events expect that items are given to the person celebrating. 

 

The expectation or top shelf stuff seems a bit much for me, but I can see that at certain clubs. The best club policy I have heard is a club where the HOI insurance covers a hand pump half keg of beer on ice. They set it down by the guy who got the ace and he serves beer all night. 

 

 

 

Edited April 2, 2021 by 2bGood

[me05501]

OP you are a gentleman and a scholar, and more gracious than I'd be. 

 

I've had a couple of negative experiences playing at clubs where I wasn't a member but got invited into a money game anyway.

 

Once I wound up losing more money than I had in my pocket because my member friend got baited into a bad bet for us and we didn't perform.

 

Another time at a different club I was part of a poker game that lasted well past closing time. The ringleader was a drunk and a bully and basically intimidated all of us into staying until we had played ourselves out of any profits we might have stacked up. Very uncomfortable. 

 

Those kinds of experiences have shown me the dark side of wanting to belong in a club. 

[Yoshifan151]

3 hours ago, LeftDaddy said:

I still think this tradition of the player making the HIO having to buy hundreds of dollars of drinks for everyone in the clubhouse is completely asinine and ruins an otherwise fun moment.

That's why I think it's such a stupid tradition, you shouldn't have to worry about dumb things like if you got a ***** enough alcohol after YOU got a hole in one. You handled it much more graciously than I would have lol.

[LeftDaddy]

50 minutes ago, me05501 said:

OP you are a gentleman and a scholar, and more gracious than I'd be. 

 

I've had a couple of negative experiences playing at clubs where I wasn't a member but got invited into a money game anyway.

 

Once I wound up losing more money than I had in my pocket because my member friend got baited into a bad bet for us and we didn't perform.

 

Another time at a different club I was part of a poker game that lasted well past closing time. The ringleader was a drunk and a bully and basically intimidated all of us into staying until we had played ourselves out of any profits we might have stacked up. Very uncomfortable. 

 

Those kinds of experiences have shown me the dark side of wanting to belong in a club. 

One of the main ringleaders in the argument that I should be buying top shelf alcohol was also a guy that gladly took twice the amount of money from me in a money game than he should have. It’s a long story, but my partner and I lost to him and his partner in a weekly money game, but he insisted that we both owed each of them the payout. I argued vociferously that wasn’t how our club handled it (he was new to the club).  But eventually we gave in and just paid the darn bet (twice). But I knew it was wrong and said I was going to confirm. I confirmed later, but of course never asked for (nor got) my money back. And then he had the nerve to suggest I was being a little tight about paying my bets. 
 

Ugh. So now I’ve given this guy too much money on a bet, AND a pricey bottle of wine for my HIO. Anyway, overall I really enjoy the club with the exception of a small handful of individuals. Every club has them I guess. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by LeftDaddy

[Yoshifan151]

10 minutes ago, LeftDaddy said:

One of the main ringleaders in the argument that I should be buying top shelf alcohol was also a guy that gladly took twice the amount of money from me in a money game than he should have. It’s a long story, but my partner and I lost to him and his partner in a weekly money game, but he insisted that we both owed each of them the payout. I argued vociferously that wasn’t how our club handled it (he was new to the club).  But eventually we gave in and just paid the darn bet (twice). But I knew it was wrong and said I was going to confirm. I confirmed later, but of course never asked for (nor got) my money back. And then he had the nerve to suggest I was being a little tight about paying my bets. 
 

Ugh. So now I’ve given this guy too much money on a bet, AND a pricey bottle of wine for my HIO. Anyway, overall I really enjoy the club with the exception of a small handful of individuals. Every club has them I guess. 

Wow that guy is something else, just do whatever you can to avoid that guy and keep enjoying the rest of the club. 

[PJE]

You generously and politely offered a round to everyone in the bar.  Some guys only buy drinks for their playing partners so you definitely were not a cheapskate or impolite. 

The "top shelfers" are jerks.  I understand your apprehension about getting along in your club but you don't owe them an apology or anything else.  It's sad they clouded your outstanding golf moment with their selfishness and arrogance. Private clubs always have some of "those guys" as members.

Congratulations on your ace!

[david.c.w]

On 3/30/2021 at 9:31 AM, me05501 said:

 

One sad aspect of club life is that everywhere club has a few characters like that.   FTFY

 

 

 

Friendly reminder to all that this is not a club issue.  This is a people issue.

 

OP, you handled this better than I would have.  Every golfers #1 goal is to get a HIO.  The only thing better is a HIO on a tournament day with open bar.   The guys are a bunch of jackals. 

 

I have never had a HIO.  If i get one I am buying drinks.  If it happens to be on a busy weekend, I have made the conscious decision to tell the bartender I am good up to $500.  After that I am not paying.  A lot?  Yes, but likely a once in a lifetime event and will make for a good story.

[me05501]

1 minute ago, david.c.w said:

 

Friendly reminder to all that this is not a club issue.  This is a people issue.

 

OP, you handled this better than I would have.  Every golfers #1 goal is to get a HIO.  The only thing better is a HIO on a tournament day with open bar.   The guys are a bunch of jackals. 

 

I have never had a HIO.  If i get one I am buying drinks.  If it happens to be on a busy weekend, I have made the conscious decision to tell the bartender I am good up to $500.  After that I am not paying.  A lot?  Yes, but likely a once in a lifetime event and will make for a good story.

I think there’s a specific dynamic with clubs that springs from being supported by dues-paying members. Seems like every member of a club wants to have his opinion heard on how things should be run. It sets up a weird dynamic where the staff are constantly feeling under pressure because every member is their boss, or at least likes to think they are. 
 

In the very best clubs, the head pro and GM are usually strong enough personalities to put those kinds of members in their place. That’s how it ought to be done IMO. It helps to have a full membership and a waiting list obviously! A club that needs members is always going to be pushed around by some of their current members. 
 

Ideally, the members need the club more than the club needs the members. 

[Hawkeye77]

17 hours ago, PJE said:

You generously and politely offered a round to everyone in the bar.  Some guys only buy drinks for their playing partners so you definitely were not a cheapskate or impolite. 

The "top shelfers" are jerks.  I understand your apprehension about getting along in your club but you don't owe them an apology or anything else.  It's sad they clouded your outstanding golf moment with their selfishness and arrogance. Private clubs always have some of "those guys" as members.

Congratulations on your ace!

There's nothing cheap or impolite about only buying for your playing partners. 

[Abh159]

50 minutes ago, david.c.w said:

 

Friendly reminder to all that this is not a club issue.  This is a people issue.

 

Couldn't agree more. Stories like this too often seem to get twisted into a narrative saying "country clubs are full of rich, pretentious a**holes". Maybe 40-50 years ago you could make an argument for that, but I think all of us on here who are and/or have been members at a private club can attest to the fact that this is far from the truth in modern times.

 

In the 20+ years I've been playing golf I've run into way more jerks at public courses than I have at any of the private clubs I've been a member of. 

[2bGood]

12 hours ago, Hawkeye77 said:

There's nothing cheap or impolite about only buying for your playing partners. 

Mostly true but it depends on the context of the situation. In some countries this could be wildly impolite (Japan) and in some clubs this would be seen as cheap. 

 

If you are a member of a club that the norm is people buy drinks for the club after an Ace and you have enjoyed those drinks in the past, if you break with that tradition you will be seen as cheap. 

 

At our club if you win a match play event the tradition is to buy drinks for your opponent. Even if you can't stay you let the bartender know to put on your tab. 

 

I am not saying these traditions are correct, but if 100's of people before you bought drinks and you don't you are going to be viewed as 'cheap.'

Edited April 3, 2021 by 2bGood

[Hawkeye77]

37 minutes ago, 2bGood said:

Mostly true but it depends on the context of the situation. In some countries this could be widely impolite (Japan) and in some clubs this would be seen as cheap. 

 

If you are a member of a club that the norm is people buy drinks for the club after an Ace and you have enjoyed those drinks in the past, if you break with that tradition you will be seen as cheap. 

 

At our club if you win a match play event the tradition is to buy drinks for your opponent. Even if you can't stay you let the bartender know to put on your tab. 

 

I am not saying these traditions are correct, but if 100's of people before you bought drinks and you don't you are going to be viewed as 'cheap.'

It's always situational. As a general rule, not buying for everyone isn't necessarily cheap or impolite as suggested.

[capking]

This seems like one of those good problems to have. 

[2bGood]

3 minutes ago, Hawkeye77 said:

It's always situational. As a general rule, not buying for everyone isn't necessarily cheap or impolite as suggested.

Yes as I said, Mostly true... In the context of the OP I can see his club has a certain tradition and set of norms to be navigated. He did a good job doing it. Buying drinks for only 3 guys (his groups) in that club would have him labelled as being cheap considering that would not be in keeping with what the majority of club members have done in the past. 

[lefthack]

You made the shot, it would be me buying your drinks. Period.

[LeftDaddy]

Final update from me on this. I bought a bottle of nice bourbon and vodka and delivered it to the club today. Plopped it in the men’s grill and told folks to enjoy. People smiled, introduced themselves, asked about the shot, etc. I ran into my caddie from that day and he said he had so much fun, and has been telling everyone about it.

 

And finally, I ran into the most “vocal” one from that day. He messed with me a little bit, but all in all seemed satisfied with how I had handled things. I’m officially done with this one and can now just “enjoy” my HIO without worrying anymore about whether I bought enough drinks lol. Thanks again everyone!

[2bGood]

51 minutes ago, LeftDaddy said:

Final update from me on this. I bought a bottle of nice bourbon and vodka and delivered it to the club today. Plopped it in the men’s grill and told folks to enjoy. People smiled, introduced themselves, asked about the shot, etc. I ran into my caddie from that day and he said he had so much fun, and has been telling everyone about it.

 

And finally, I ran into the most “vocal” one from that day. He messed with me a little bit, but all in all seemed satisfied with how I had handled things. I’m officially done with this one and can now just “enjoy” my HIO without worrying anymore about whether I bought enough drinks lol. Thanks again everyone!

You are a class act and handle this very well.

[deadsolid...shank]

I think it’s one of stupidest traditions in golf. And I’m cheap. 
 

Drinks for my group. The guys who saw it and high-fived me in celebration when it happened. Not a bunch of random people who just happen to be sitting in the bar at the time we finished  and came in. Hell, maybe the guys aren’t even golfers sitting in there, why should they benefit from my golf shot?
 

There is nothing sensible about hitting a once in a lifetime shot ( for most people) and having it cost you $500 dollars. It’s tradition that needs to go away. 

I should add that in addition to being cheap, I’m also cranky!

[Roejye]

34 minutes ago, deadsolid...shank said:

I think it’s one of stupidest traditions in golf. And I’m cheap. 
 

Drinks for my group. The guys who saw it and high-fived me in celebration when it happened. Not a bunch of random people who just happen to be sitting in the bar at the time we finished  and came in. Hell, maybe the guys aren’t even golfers sitting in there, why should they benefit from my golf shot?
 

There is nothing sensible about hitting a once in a lifetime shot ( for most people) and having it cost you $500 dollars. It’s tradition that needs to go away. 

I should add that in addition to being cheap, I’m also cranky!

As a fellow cheapskate I agree. I once in a lifetime shot shouldn't cost you a fortune. Golf can be expensive enough as it is.

[Roejye]

I think you handled it quite well @LeftDaddy, sounds to me like someone was trying to take advantage, and you handled with more grace than I.