Today was the day I officially found the strength to walk away.

Today I concluded that I need to quit golf. I don't want to quit but I need to. I've suspected this for the last couple seasons. I don't know when it stopped being fun, but my golf game, if it were a person, would be depressed and suicidal.

The problem for me is that I'm 30 years old, single and work as an engineer. My foremost hobby is guitar. I aspire to write music because that's what I'm actually good at. Instead of fostering that ability I've chased this golf thing for the last 7 years and I'm left to face the reality that I have absolutely nothing to show for it and that not a single person I know is even remotely interested in it. My goal over the next 5 years is to be more social but I doubt I'll meet anyone my age who's into golf. In fact, I strongly suspect that golf undermines my chances at meeting people or being more able to converse on real topics. I'm beginning to believe that golf stands in the way of work, relationships and pretty much any alternative aspiration I might have in other areas.

For the last 5 years I've treated golf like a wife, but the truth is, it's more like heroin. Golf has really just been a distraction. There's no reason for it to be there in my life and it's brought on some really dark thoughts. As I hit 30, I don't see a future with golf. I just don't understand why a sane person would continue down this path. Over the last couple seasons, my analytical side has taken over and the endless waves of self-hate and rage have become too much too ignore. I'd say I leave the golf course angry about 50% of the time and the other 50% I'm just apathetic despite shooting a lousy number.

I don't know why I'm posting this.

Damn.

I'm suicidal now.

I know how you feel......

See you on the first tee tomorrow morning.

That reminds me of this scene from office space.

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s the worst day of my life.

Therapist:What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

Therapist: Wow, that’s messed up!

"I wouldn't say I've been 'missing it'...."

Are you in a league ? Join one. Its fun

Get married and have kids. The exact reasons you hate golf now will become reasons to love golf.

Too bad. Hope you find peace.

Someday you will play again and it will be great. Enjoy the time off.

Today I concluded that I need to quit golf. I don't want to quit but I need to. I've suspected this for the last couple seasons. I don't know when it stopped being fun, but my golf game, if it were a person, would be depressed and suicidal.

 

The problem for me is that I'm 30 years old, single and work as an engineer. My foremost hobby is guitar. I aspire to write music because that's what I'm actually good at. Instead of fostering that ability I've chased this golf thing for the last 7 years and I'm left to face the reality that I have absolutely nothing to show for it and that not a single person I know is even remotely interested in it. My goal over the next 5 years is to be more social but I doubt I'll meet anyone my age who's into golf. In fact, I strongly suspect that golf undermines my chances at meeting people or being more able to converse on real topics. I'm beginning to believe that golf stands in the way of work, relationships and pretty much any alternative aspiration I might have in other areas.

 

For the last 5 years I've treated golf like a wife, but the truth is, it's more like heroin. Golf has really just been a distraction. There's no reason for it to be there in my life and it's brought on some really dark thoughts. As I hit 30, I don't see a future with golf. I just don't understand why a sane person would continue down this path. Over the last couple seasons, my analytical side has taken over and the endless waves of self-hate and rage have become too much too ignore. I'd say I leave the golf course angry about 50% of the time and the other 50% I'm just apathetic despite shooting a lousy number.

 

I don't know why I'm posting this.

Weird. I chased music for 15 years, and despite all else I learned and experienced, I have nothing tangible to show for it. Golf is now the sole means of outside enjoyment for me.

But I would say (reading into a piece of what you shared here, and taking this from one rather anti-social individual to another), changing up the things you do doesn't lead you to a place of more satisfaction through engagement with others. It is either in your nature to enjoy engaging with others or not. Golf is one of those rare places where personal enjoyment *could" come in solitude, and maybe you shouldn't dismiss it altogether.

A new driver will fix all of this

It's not the game for everyone bud, enjoy your guitar and writing music.

I've wondered if I should quit golf at times. Seriously. I once aspired to play pro golf...realized I wasn't even close and got serious about school and work.

I play once a week now, and I don't have the same feel I did when I played everyday.

You know what I've done? Started lessons with Monte and realized I have to prepare for tournaments like I used to. I have one next weekend. I'll be at the range everyday after work. I'll putt and chip on lunch every day. By next weekend, I'll be ready to play my best.

I can't do that routine every week. I would be divorced! But I've accepted that I will only have my game at a level where I actually "like" golf for maybe 3 or 4 weekends out of the year. And I'm cool with that. The rest of the year I'm basically just practicing. I hit some good shots and have good holes.

You've got to find your own way to deal with the adversity that is golf. If that means not keeping score (essentially what I do a lot to avoid being upset), do that. Hitting the ball around is fun. Good luck to you OP. See you on the first tee after your break.

I took about 20 years off from golf starting when I turned 30. During my hiatus, I had people tell me I should play more; golf is relaxing. I'd laugh ruefully, Golf is one of the most frustrating thing you can do. It's ok to walk away if it's not fun and you're not enjoying it. My cousin used to play daily and is one of the few people I know that took a long time to get good. He was a 15 handicap for a while but then really practiced a lot and got down to + territory and won a club championship at a prestigious club. Then a few years later, he quit playing, doesn't watch it on TV and doesn't follow it.

You don't owe anyone an explanation. I hope your music gives you happiness.

Today I concluded that I need to quit golf. I don't want to quit but I need to. I've suspected this for the last couple seasons. I don't know when it stopped being fun, but my golf game, if it were a person, would be depressed and suicidal.

 

The problem for me is that I'm 30 years old, single and work as an engineer. My foremost hobby is guitar. I aspire to write music because that's what I'm actually good at. Instead of fostering that ability I've chased this golf thing for the last 7 years and I'm left to face the reality that I have absolutely nothing to show for it and that not a single person I know is even remotely interested in it. My goal over the next 5 years is to be more social but I doubt I'll meet anyone my age who's into golf. In fact, I strongly suspect that golf undermines my chances at meeting people or being more able to converse on real topics. I'm beginning to believe that golf stands in the way of work, relationships and pretty much any alternative aspiration I might have in other areas.

 

For the last 5 years I've treated golf like a wife, but the truth is, it's more like heroin. Golf has really just been a distraction. There's no reason for it to be there in my life and it's brought on some really dark thoughts. As I hit 30, I don't see a future with golf. I just don't understand why a sane person would continue down this path. Over the last couple seasons, my analytical side has taken over and the endless waves of self-hate and rage have become too much too ignore. I'd say I leave the golf course angry about 50% of the time and the other 50% I'm just apathetic despite shooting a lousy number.

 

I don't know why I'm posting this.

 

Weird. I chased music for 15 years, despite all else I learned and experienced, I have nothing tangible to show for it. Golf is now the sole means of outside enjoyment for me.

 

But I would say (reading into a piece of what you shared here, and taking this from one rather anti-social individual to another), changing up the things you do doesn't lead you to a place of more satisfaction through engagement with others. It is either in your nature to enjoy engaging with others or not. Golf is one of those rare places where personal enjoyment *could" come in solitude, and maybe you shouldn't dismiss it altogether.

Even weirder. I'm an introverted engineer and I've spent at least as much time playing guitar as I have playing golf. I think one of the main issues here is that you need something tangible to show for your time spent playing/practicing. Treat it like a hobby, not part of your livelihood and just try to enjoy the time being out there. I think MadGolfer is right that you should not completely give it up. Maybe focus time on other things for a while and see if that gets you what you're looking for. I know I enjoy golf a lot more when I have other things going on in my life. But there should be room for both.

Next on Fantasy Island: A guy who has nothing to show for his golf tries his hand at the music industry...

30? Single? An engineer? Music skills? Virtually unlimited time for golf?

I don't think you are going to get a whole lot of sympathy from us geezers. Trust me, 25 years from now you will be yearning for such simplicity. We are all prisoners of our point of view and we romanticize what we don't have or can't do. I read through your passage a few times and there are quite a few contradictions. Golf is never the problem, it is just the vehicle that pulls back the layers in other parts of our lives.

Put the clubs in the corner of the garage for a day, a week, or a month. You will either get the bug again or move on.

This post has inspired me to quit trying to improve at golf. That's where frustration comes from. The fun is in not practicing and going out once in a while to play and sometimes being pleasantly surprised by a decent round.

I'm pretty solidly set in my ways in all facets of this game. I will never be scratch. No need to keep banging my head against a wall.

Thanks Mello.

I admire people who walk away from this game forever.It is one of the only instances where I actually envy a quitter.To me it takes courage to do it.I on the other hand am a hopeless addict that will probably chase my tail until I'm 6 feet under.I guess what keeps me going is the whole challenge of improvement.The hope that someday I will have a much stronger degree of control and confidence

I went through this with pool and billiards.I wanted to be at a certain level and when I got there it wasn't enough.I wanted to improve more and then when I got there I wanted to improve more,etc.I play the game now at a level that most people will never get to and I am subject to win any match or any tournament I am in.Funny thing now is that I hardly play anymore and when I do,I pick up right where I left off.Its a skill that I developed and worked hard to get.Its mine now and I don't have to work hard anymore to have it.I don't have to prove my skill to anybody.I just enjoy the race now when I get in it.

I just gotta ask... if golf has been this all consuming 'distraction' for you, what's the real dragon you're trying not to chase?

 

I admire people who walk away from this game forever.It is one of the only instances where I actually envy a quitter.To me it takes courage to do it.I on the other hand am a hopeless addict that will probably chase my tail until I'm 6 feet under.I guess what keeps me going is the whole challenge of improvement.The hope that someday I will have a much stronger degree of control and confidence

 

I went through this with pool and billiards.I wanted to be at a certain level and when I got there it wasn't enough.I wanted to improve more and then when I got there I wanted to improve more,etc.I play the game now at a level that most people will never get to and I am subject to win any match or any tournament I am in.Funny thing now is that I hardly play anymore and when I do,I pick up right where I left off.Its a skill that I developed and worked hard to get.Its mine now and I don't have to work hard anymore to have it.I don't have to prove my skill to anybody.I just enjoy the race now when I get in it.

Note to me...if I ever have the pleasure of playing a game of golf against Grayback, do not go double or nothing on a game of pool.

You have to think about how lucky you are to have your health and ability to even suck at golf. A lot of people can't play and would love to just shoot 120 all day. I'm typing this sitting next to my girlfriend at the hospital because she just had emergency surgery for a broken tibia and fibia yesterday. She hates golf more than you do but I bet she'd take it over this...this whole experience has changed my thinking and what I take for granted

I hope you find peace.

And remember, "the door swings both ways."

 

The problem for me is that I'm 30 years old, single and work as an engineer. My foremost hobby is guitar. I aspire to write music because that's what I'm actually good at. Instead of fostering that ability I've chased this golf thing for the last 7 years and I'm left to face the reality that I have absolutely nothing to show for it and that not a single person I know is even remotely interested in it. My goal over the next 5 years is to be more social but I doubt I'll meet anyone my age who's into golf. In fact, I strongly suspect that golf undermines my chances at meeting people or being more able to converse on real topics. I'm beginning to believe that golf stands in the way of work, relationships and pretty much any alternative aspiration I might have in other areas.

 

Well, if we only did what we were good at, life would be dull - and the reproduction of the species would probably grind to a halt as well. I'm not saying you need to tough this out - but most people are cheerfully crap at their hobbies and enjoy them in spite of their comparatively modest accomplishments. The vast, vast majority of people here (self included), if they had to rely on their golf game to put a roof over their head and food on the table, would not last long. Which is beside the point, if they're enjoying the game.

Maybe it's worth asking yourself - what did you hope to have to show for your effort? I certainly have nothing tangible as a reward, but that does not stop me from taking great pleasure out of an evening 9 or even a range session. I just like hitting a ball with a stick. If I absolutely had to justify the investment of time in terms of tangible outcomes, I would need to take up furniture making and hope that I'm better at that than I am at golf.

As for kindred spirits, this is pretty much the only place where I talk golf. Most of the people I'm closest to are profoundly disinterested in how my golf goes. Most posters here are already golf geeks, and through a screen name they project the most geeky side of their golf geekdom. It's fun, but would I want my office or local bar to be full of these personalities? I hardly talk golf with the guys I actually play with.

My advice is that playing golf, or not playing golf, doesn't need to be an all or nothing proposition. You can choose to make it so, but that is your choice. Thinking of golf as something that you can somehow conquer with a massive, concentrated effort is a huge, huge trap, IMO. I cannot imagine that it would hurt you to broaden your horizons a bit, and then decide what place golf has in your wider perspective. You are not your score.

Golf is a game. It's supposed to be fun! If you aren't getting any joy out of it, it's probably a good idea to step away for a while and take some time off. The fun should be in and of itself. not based on beating yourself up over not improving.

 

I admire people who walk away from this game forever.It is one of the only instances where I actually envy a quitter.To me it takes courage to do it.I on the other hand am a hopeless addict that will probably chase my tail until I'm 6 feet under.I guess what keeps me going is the whole challenge of improvement.The hope that someday I will have a much stronger degree of control and confidence

 

I went through this with pool and billiards.I wanted to be at a certain level and when I got there it wasn't enough.I wanted to improve more and then when I got there I wanted to improve more,etc.I play the game now at a level that most people will never get to and I am subject to win any match or any tournament I am in.Funny thing now is that I hardly play anymore and when I do,I pick up right where I left off.Its a skill that I developed and worked hard to get.Its mine now and I don't have to work hard anymore to have it.I don't have to prove my skill to anybody.I just enjoy the race now when I get in it.

 

Note to me...if I ever have the pleasure of playing a game of golf against Grayback, do not go double or nothing on a game of pool.

Are you in a league ? Join one. Its fun

This. If you are looking for an activity that promotes meeting new people league golf fills the bill. You'll meet all kinds of characters - some who likely will evolve in good friends.

I don't want to sound like the guy trying to talk a jumper off a ledge (I actually did that for a living for many years) but the rest of your post leads me to believe you have some unrealistic expectations about "playing" golf. It's more important to enjoy the process than the focus on a result IMO unless you are one of the very few in the world proficient enough to succeed at the highest level.

Take some time off, and if you don't miss the game you probably made the right call. If you get the itch to play again consider joining a league. I belong to 2 of them and there is a great camaraderie to be enjoyed in them.

My guess is that you're posting because you are ambivalent about the decision to quit golf. The way I see it, quitting the game is probably one of the most logical decisions you can make. The sport is a financial black hole and almost always incompatible with romantic relationships and family, both of which you may be seriously committed to over the coming years. There are exceptions (the saintly supportive golf wife/girlfriend, the child who loves to play) but they are the rare exceptions that prove the rule.

All sports are very difficult to excel at -- who on this GolfWRX board can sink 3's off the dribble like Steph Curry, or pitch like Kershaw? Yet almost all serious golfers are chasing pro-level like performance, whether they think about it in those terms or not. If you want to get better at hoops or baseball/softball, you (might) practice a few hours a week other than playing in your league games, but the time and cost commitment is relatively limited. Not with golf -- it's ridiculously expensive and time consuming. And the expectations that avid golfers place on themselves are crazy unrealistic. I put myself in that camp.

Again, taking a break to gain perspective and reconnect with other hobbies or people is a completely sane and rational decision. Go for it. You might rejoin the golf world down the road with a different perspective that allows for more enjoyment of the game.

I do hope that you'll continue to drop in though I understand if you don't.

It sounds as though you have a clear picture of where you want to go as a person and obviously golf is not a positive factor in that journey.

Life is too short and unpredictable to waste time and resources in an area that brings us no joy or sense of accomplishment, achievement or satisfaction.

Its kinda funny because this game saved me when 17 years of football ended and I was standing there in my mid-20's wondering WhoTF I was and what could possibly replace the adrenaline rush, sense of achievement and plain ole ego rush of that game. This game did. It gave me memories for a few life times along with introducing me to some incredible people including the man who would become the father that I never had along with the most incredible Woman that I've met in my life.

When I sit there by myself and think that I played a major role in all of that, I read a piece like yours and see that no, it wasn't so much me or my abilities or achievements as it was just being lucky.

You deserve happiness-

Some don't but you do~

Maybe you posted this as a final act or exclamation mark as when we lay it out there publically, well, it adds a certain weight to carry through.

Or possibly as an act to give someone here the opportunity to persuade you otherwise though based on what I know of you from the board, this is not you.

I wish you the very best and have enjoyed conversing with you on the board.

Take care and God Bless Bro,

Richard

Just curious. Who are you guys talking to? Dude said he walked away...