Head Cover Drama. Who's the Jerk?

[bladehunter]

> @cardoustie said:

> > @bladehunter said:

> > > @caniac6 said:

> > > > @"Mr. Hogan" said:

> > > > If anyone started taking the headcovers off my clubs without asking first they'd be unconscious before they would see what clubs I own.

> > >

> > > I've had guys look at my clubs, and I've checked out other guys clubs. I've only been playing about 50 years, and didn't realize it was such an issue, or that there were that many tough guys on the course.

> >

> > See. I think that’s parts of the issue. “ tough Guys”.

> >

> > I don’t know of a person who would describe me as a “ tough guy “. Maybe aloof or antisocial if you don’t know me or we haven’t met. But I do have personal space expectations. And plenty of pet peeves. Ill mannered people are pretty high on that list.

> >

> > Example. I came out to my vehicle a couple months ago after a sat morning round. There were tents set up at the back of the parking lot. Which usually means a corporate outing etc for the afternoon. Sure enough. It was. When I parked at 7 am nobody was there. Now I have a city of scramble players encamped around my vehicle ( and 15 other cars). As I walk closer I see that two guys are on my trucks back bumper with paper plates on the bed cover . They are eating off my truck. First thought isn’t safe for posting. I talked myself down as I walked and expected the guys to see or hear me unlock my truck and move accordingly. Well. They didn’t. I threw my putter in the back door and started around to the tailgate with my bag. Only then did they move. One leaving a beer on my back bumper and another an empty plate on my bedcover. I sat my bag down and grabbed the nearly full beer and plate and spotted a garbage can. I deposited both without a word. Put my bag up , changed shoes and got in to leave. Now I try to back out and the same group of idiots are standing too close for me to get all the way out. Only after I honk the horn do they move. I still haven’t said a word. I left. Mad enough to explode. I’m very thankful that neither opened his mouth. But I suspect my size prevented that as it usually does. People of that mindset should be chemically sterilized at age 15. For the life of me I cannot understand what would posses someone to sit themselves and a beer / plate on someone else’s vehicle as if it were a picnic table.

> >

> > So tough guy. Not always. Not even usually. Lots of people still walking around this earth because of the self control of others. And they are oblivious to how many times their lives have been in danger.

> >

> > I’m ok with anyone disagreeing. But. Think of what your hot button is. Where’s your line ? Doesn’t matter what it is. Everybody has one. So let’s dont act like one guy is wrong for drawing it at personal space. I agree he reacted just as bad. But I also get his frustration with the oblivious who walk among us.

>

> I cannot believe you didn't say "get your crap off my truck, show a little respect here guys." Impressive holding of the tongue

 

Lol. Yep. My issue is that if I had said something and one of them mouthed off. I’d be locked up now probably. I just don’t have a bluff in me. If I’m mad enough to call you out or down. I’m ready to go. And I hate that feeling. I truly do. But I don’t have any flight in me. So much so that it may well be to my detriment one day. And I’m aware and working on it. Probably a product of me upbringing. You see so much stuff and you become numb to it. Lose the fear. But at the same time you hate the upset feeling of that type drama.

 

True story as another example. My middle sisters boyfriend around 16years ago showed up to thanksgiving lunch wielding a shot gun ( Remington 1100 full choke Turkey gun to be exact )

Later found out some drug deal disagreement with an outlaw brother of mine. So he’s hanging out the window of his truck yelling and waiving it. I saw red and crept out the side door. Around. Behind his truck and up to the drivers door. Caught the gun with both hands and shoved the butt into his face. Bloodying his nose. Told him if he wanted to live , to leave , And I walked back into the house. He left. And I walked back into the house to find my wife of 2 years then in shock. Real live shock. I was used to it. We didn’t call the cops for anything.

 

I know that sounds nuts. But at that time it was still normal to me. I’m 10 plus years totally disconnected from my immediate outlaw family and of course now it’s nuts to me. But. The old instinct is intact.

 

Again. I’m sure somebody will call BS on that. But I Swanee it’s true. And not even close to the worst story I can tell. Not close. I avoid confrontation like the plague. But somewhere somehow that also includes a line in the sand that if crossed ill flip the switch as well. I’m sure a form of PTSD or something. But I’m good. I stay to myself. And do my thing. Just stay in your lane and we’re all good.

[Pepperturbo]

> @chocolate_rehab said:

> > @cubanstogie said:

> > dude drives a prius, its obvious who the ****** is.

> I know, only douches drive cars that aren't openly horrendous for the environment. I prefer my cars to leave a trail of black smoke behind me and get 6mpg so people know how awesome and non-douchey I am.

>

 

I prefer mine with 450 HP and TT, 180mph, NO trailing smoke and 26-27mph on long distance. Now that's awesome. Prius or the like... not happening in my lifetime. :)

[Roadking2003]

> @caniac6 said:

> The world seems full of idiots, and angry people.

 

But now there are a few less of them out there;

 

https://www.golfdigest.com/story/5-dead-after-golf-course-dispute-leads-to-shooting-neighborhood-fire

[cardoustie]

> @Roadking2003 said:

> > @caniac6 said:

> > The world seems full of idiots, and angry people.

>

> But now there are a few less of them out there;

>

> https://www.golfdigest.com/story/5-dead-after-golf-course-dispute-leads-to-shooting-neighborhood-fire

 

That sounds like a future movie plot. A long percolating dispute. Crazy stuff right there

 

[DLiver]

> @caniac6 said:

> The world seems full of idiots, and angry people.

 

And many of them posting in this thread, it seems. JMHO.

[nsxguy]

> @cardoustie said:

> Love the stories on here

> I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> He's been a prince ever since

 

Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

 

Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

[buckeyefl]

> @nsxguy said:

> > @cardoustie said:

> > Love the stories on here

> > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > He's been a prince ever since

>

> Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

>

> Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

 

Zero flair points.

[bladehunter]

> @nsxguy said:

> > @cardoustie said:

> > Love the stories on here

> > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > He's been a prince ever since

>

> Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

>

> Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

 

Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name. At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

 

That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

[bubbagump]

This thread has turned hilarious with all these Roadhouse characters coming out with their stories........

[LeoLeo99]

> @bladehunter said:

> > @nsxguy said:

> > > @cardoustie said:

> > > Love the stories on here

> > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > He's been a prince ever since

> >

> > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> >

> > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

>

> Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name. At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

>

> That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

 

Reminds me of this classic:

 

 

 

[bladehunter]

> @LeoLeo99 said:

> > @bladehunter said:

> > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > >

> > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > >

> > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> >

> > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name. At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> >

> > That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

>

> Reminds me of this classic:

>

>

>

>

 

Yep. Exactly the type guy I’m talking about. Too bad someone was there to help him.

[nsxguy]

> @bladehunter said:

> > @nsxguy said:

> > > @cardoustie said:

> > > Love the stories on here

> > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > He's been a prince ever since

> >

> > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> >

> > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

>

> Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

>

> **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

 

So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

 


 

 

"Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What was it about his story that gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a "last resort" ?

 

You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

 

[bladehunter]

> @nsxguy said:

> > @bladehunter said:

> > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > >

> > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > >

> > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> >

> > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> >

> > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

>

> So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

>

> 

>

>

> "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

>

> You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

>

 

Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

 

As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

[nsxguy]

> @bladehunter said:

> > @nsxguy said:

> > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > >

> > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > >

> > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > >

> > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > >

> > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> >

> > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> >

> > 

> >

> >

> > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> >

> > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> >

>

> Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

>

> As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

 

That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

 

Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

 

~~Gotcha !!!~~ Understood !!! (<---edited since the "Gotcha" seems to have been misinterpreted (<----- see how EASY that sort of thing is ? LOL))

[LeoLeo99]

> @nsxguy said:

> > @bladehunter said:

> > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > >

> > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > >

> > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > >

> > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > >

> > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > >

> > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > >

> > > 

> > >

> > >

> > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > >

> > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > >

> >

> > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> >

> > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

>

> That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

>

> Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

>

> Gotcha !!!

 

woo hoo! You got him, good!

[cardoustie]

Hey, I was just relaying a story, not playing Swayze

You can't judge responses without knowing the characters involved, the situation at hand and history. This guy was repeatedly a POS to many folks in our circle, that day I decided to quietly let him know enough was enough

[bladehunter]

> @LeoLeo99 said:

> > @nsxguy said:

> > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > > >

> > > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > > >

> > > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > > >

> > > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > > >

> > > > 

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > > >

> > > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > > >

> > >

> > > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> > >

> > > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

> >

> > That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

> >

> > Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

> >

> > Gotcha !!!

>

> woo hoo! You got him, good!

 

I’m rubbing in the aloe gel now to calm down my 3rd degree burns.

 

[bladehunter]

> @nsxguy said:

> > @bladehunter said:

> > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > >

> > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > >

> > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > >

> > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > >

> > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > >

> > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > >

> > > 

> > >

> > >

> > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > >

> > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > >

> >

> > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> >

> > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

>

> That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

>

> Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

>

> Gotcha !!!

 

 

I find our equally glaring lack of communication skills quite hilarious. If we could put our heads together I’m sure we could equal one smart human being.

 

I think I gave a perfectly specific answer. And you say no answer at all. I don’t know if I can rephrase it to make of obvious. But I will try.

 

 

Guy calls him names. He takes it for a while. Then finally has enough. He thinks “ I’m not happy with this name calling , and I’ve been ignoring him and it has continued. What shall I do to insure it stops now “? Self answers “ time to put your foot down and let him know what the future holds “.

 

Which leaves us with 2 choices. Confrontation or continuing to ignore it and hope it stops. Most sane folks see that as “ no choice “. Or a last resort type choice. Having already exhausted the first passive choice of ignoring the behavior in hopes that a lack acknowledgment would eventually give that person the hint. The only choice left is to change the persons mind about the behaviors acceptability. Which is to explain in detail the consequences of its continued use.

[nsxguy]

> @bladehunter said:

> > @LeoLeo99 said:

> > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > > > >

> > > > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > > > >

> > > > > 

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > > > >

> > > > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> > > >

> > > > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

> > >

> > > That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

> > >

> > > Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

> > >

> > > Gotcha !!!

> >

> > woo hoo! You got him, good!

>

> I’m rubbing in the aloe gel now to calm down my 3rd degree burns.

>

 

You gentlemen seem to have misunderstood the "Gotcha",,,,,,,,, so I "fixed" it.

 

Point is, ASK first, if necessary escalate to a thread afterwards and (potential) violence TRULY as a last resort. i.e. NOT as blade describes last resort. LOL

[Steele47]

I drove a Prius once. Was like driving an electric toothbrush. Pretty roomy though.

[tatertot]

> @nsxguy said:

> > @bladehunter said:

> > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > >

> > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > >

> > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > >

> > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > >

> > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > >

> > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > >

> > > 

> > >

> > >

> > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > >

> > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > >

> >

> > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> >

> > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

>

> That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

>

> Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

>

> ~~Gotcha !!!~~ Understood !!! (<---edited since the "Gotcha" seems to have been misinterpreted (<----- see how EASY that sort of thing is ? LOL))

 

Man, you've convinced me. You really are smarter and more advanced than the rest of us blockheads. Thanks for gracing us with your superiorness.

[nsxguy]

> @tatertot said:

> > @nsxguy said:

> > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > > >

> > > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > > >

> > > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > > >

> > > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > > >

> > > > 

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > > >

> > > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > > >

> > >

> > > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> > >

> > > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

> >

> > That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

> >

> > Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

> >

> > ~~Gotcha !!!~~ Understood !!! (<---edited since the "Gotcha" seems to have been misinterpreted (<----- see how EASY that sort of thing is ? LOL))

>

> Man, you've convinced me. You really are smarter and more advanced than the rest of us blockheads. Thanks for gracing us with your superioress.

 

No worries.

 

Cavemen are people too. LOL

[bladehunter]

> @nsxguy said:

> > @bladehunter said:

> > > @LeoLeo99 said:

> > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > > > > >

> > > > > > 

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> > > > >

> > > > > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

> > > >

> > > > That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

> > > >

> > > > Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

> > > >

> > > > Gotcha !!!

> > >

> > > woo hoo! You got him, good!

> >

> > I’m rubbing in the aloe gel now to calm down my 3rd degree burns.

> >

>

> You gentlemen seem to have misunderstood the "Gotcha",,,,,,,,, so I "fixed" it.

>

> Point is, ASK first, if necessary escalate to a thread afterwards and (potential) violence TRULY as a last resort. i.e. NOT as blade describes last resort. LOL

 

Maybe that’s the disconnect. I didn’t read him say anything about actually striking anyone. No violence occurred. Just a calm warning that the behavior made him think about it. Having the proper info is always key. He just provided the fellow information.

 

Side note. I find it truly horrible that anyone would feel the need to ask nicely that someone not verbally harass them. If the guy were punching him would he need to ask first “ please good sir , would you stop that ... I don’t quite like it “. Nope. I don’t Think so.

 

The older I get the more I know that you need to tell people how to treat you. Not ask them. An ask is too open ended. I may do it depending on the situation. Usually the tipping point is whether or not I deem this person as a viable candidate for continued interaction. If I do I’ll try diplomacy but But to believe it’s a course that is first required for anyone is nuts. Some People you Just mark off as a lost cause and you give the rattle before the bite talk.

[nsxguy]

> @bladehunter said:

> > @nsxguy said:

> > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > > >

> > > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > > >

> > > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > > >

> > > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > > >

> > > > 

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > > >

> > > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > > >

> > >

> > > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> > >

> > > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

> >

> > That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

> >

> > Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

> >

> > Gotcha !!!

>

>

> I find our equally glaring lack of communication skills quite hilarious. If we could put our heads together I’m sure we could equal one smart human being.

>

> I think I gave a perfectly specific answer. And you say no answer at all. I don’t know if I can rephrase it to make of obvious. But I will try.

>

>

> Guy calls him names. He takes it for a while. Then finally has enough. He thinks “ I’m not happy with this name calling , and I’ve been ignoring him and it has continued. What shall I do to insure it stops now “? Self answers “ time to put your foot down and let him know what the future holds “.

>

> Which leaves us with 2 choices. Confrontation or continuing to ignore it and hope it stops. Most sane folks see that as “ no choice “. Or a last resort type choice. Having already exhausted the first passive choice of ignoring the behavior in hopes that a lack acknowledgment would eventually give that person the hint. The only choice left is to change the persons mind about the behaviors acceptability. Which is to explain in detail the consequences of its continued use.

 

I can't say as I agree with "equally glaring lack of communication skills" but maybe your A.D.D. is catching LOL. Anyway, here's the story _"Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

He's been a prince ever since"_

 

I asked HIM _"Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?"_

 

Your response "Nah", guys like that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, etc.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Now, I see nothing in that story where he ever asked the guy NOT to call him "Tiny" nor do i see anything there that implies the guy did it in any way other than to be funny/cute. i.e. the guy doesn't appear to be being derogatory about it. cardoustie tells us the guy thinks he a big jokester ("not funny but thinks he is").

 

The guy was also NOT a total stranger, he was a "friend of a friend" and it doesn't sound as if this was the first time they'd met either, adn certainly wasn't the last.

 

i.e. this was a FIRST attempt at stopping an objectionable behavior. A FIRST "confrontation", IMO, doesn't have to include a threat. And that's my whole point.

 

In MY opinion, one asks nicely first; you know, "catch more flies with honey" and such (and I'm one of those New Yorkers that apparently so many love to hate LOL). THEN, if necessary, "warn" about consequences. And THEN, if one must, and as a LAST RESORT, take action.

 

We seem to disagree about the first step.

 

Or am I miscommunicating/misunderstanding (again) ?

 

 

 

[bladehunter]

> @nsxguy said:

> > @bladehunter said:

> > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > > > >

> > > > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > > > >

> > > > > 

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > > > >

> > > > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> > > >

> > > > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

> > >

> > > That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

> > >

> > > Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

> > >

> > > Gotcha !!!

> >

> >

> > I find our equally glaring lack of communication skills quite hilarious. If we could put our heads together I’m sure we could equal one smart human being.

> >

> > I think I gave a perfectly specific answer. And you say no answer at all. I don’t know if I can rephrase it to make of obvious. But I will try.

> >

> >

> > Guy calls him names. He takes it for a while. Then finally has enough. He thinks “ I’m not happy with this name calling , and I’ve been ignoring him and it has continued. What shall I do to insure it stops now “? Self answers “ time to put your foot down and let him know what the future holds “.

> >

> > Which leaves us with 2 choices. Confrontation or continuing to ignore it and hope it stops. Most sane folks see that as “ no choice “. Or a last resort type choice. Having already exhausted the first passive choice of ignoring the behavior in hopes that a lack acknowledgment would eventually give that person the hint. The only choice left is to change the persons mind about the behaviors acceptability. Which is to explain in detail the consequences of its continued use.

>

> I can't say as I agree with "equally glaring lack of communication skills" but maybe your A.D.D. is catching LOL. Anyway, here's the story _"Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> He's been a prince ever since"_

>

> I asked HIM _"Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?"_

>

> Your response "Nah", guys like that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, etc.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

>

> Now, I see nothing in that story where he ever asked the guy NOT to call him "Tiny" nor do i see anything there that implies the guy did it in any way other than to be funny/cute. i.e. the guy doesn't appear to be being derogatory about it. cardoustie tells us the guy thinks he a big jokester ("not funny but thinks he is").

>

> The guy was also NOT a total stranger, he was a "friend of a friend" and it doesn't sound as if this was the first time they'd met either, adn certainly wasn't the last.

>

> i.e. this was a FIRST attempt at stopping an objectionable behavior. A FIRST "confrontation", IMO, doesn't have to include a threat. And that's my whole point.

>

> In MY opinion, one asks nicely first; you know, "catch more flies with honey" and such (and I'm one of those New Yorkers that apparently so many love to hate LOL). THEN, if necessary, "warn" about consequences. And THEN, if one must, and as a LAST RESORT, take action.

>

> We seem to disagree about the first step.

>

> Or am I miscommunicating/misunderstanding (again) ?

>

>

>

 

Lol. Nope. I’d say we’ve broken through the language barrier this time. We just disagree. Partially. I get what you’re saying. And like I said. Lots of time I’d use that method too. But if I’m done with this guy , I’d just skip right to the “ hey Cheif .....Ef off “. I took it to mean that the author of that story was finished with the guy.

[golfortennis]

> @tatertot said:

> > @nsxguy said:

> > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > > >

> > > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > > >

> > > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > > >

> > > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > > >

> > > > 

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > > >

> > > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > > >

> > >

> > > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> > >

> > > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

> >

> > That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

> >

> > Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

> >

> > ~~Gotcha !!!~~ Understood !!! (<---edited since the "Gotcha" seems to have been misinterpreted (<----- see how EASY that sort of thing is ? LOL))

>

> Man, you've convinced me. You really are smarter and more advanced than the rest of us blockheads. Thanks for gracing us with your superiorness.

 

You get the sense that he never not got in trouble at school because he never talked back to the bully.

 

Of course, he never had any lunch money either....

[2bGood]

> @bubbagump said:

> This thread has turned hilarious with all these Roadhouse characters coming out with their stories........

 

 

[2bGood]


 

[2bGood]

> @Bluefan75 said:

 

>

> You get the sense that he never not got in trouble at school because he never talked back to the bully.

>

> Of course, he never had any lunch money either....

 

You can never be sure the age of people on the board, but it has been 40 years since I was in school and had to worry about lunch money. Back then threats and the odd dust up occurred, but that was a long time ago. Now a few polite words takes care of any issue I have ever encountered on a golf course.

[nsxguy]

> @Bluefan75 said:

> > @tatertot said:

> > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > @bladehunter said:

> > > > > > > @nsxguy said:

> > > > > > > > @cardoustie said:

> > > > > > > > Love the stories on here

> > > > > > > > I was in a fight on a course when I was 17 or 18 and only because a kid charged me throwing windmill punches. 35 years ago and I still recall it

> > > > > > > > Anyways, the last time a guy really aggravated me was on the patio after a round. He's a loudmouth nobody likes, incessant talker, not funny but thinks he is, overly loud, etc etc. Anyways, he keeps calling me "Tiny" over and over again. I don't know this guy that well. Friend of friend sort of deal. Anyways, I just said quietly to him these exact words "Hey Don, one of these days you are going to call me Tiny and I will either be in a bad mood or will have had a few cocktails and it will not end well for you."

> > > > > > > > He's been a prince ever since

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Just curious. Obviously you're a pretty big guy.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Instead of the obvious threat, is there any reason you couldn't have just said " If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't call me "Tiny"" ? At least as a 1st attempt ?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Nah. Guys like that don’t listen to polite reason. You have to meet a bully with the language he understands. **He’d have 99.9% likely tested him with an immediate repeat of the pet name.** At that point there nearly no choice. Why back yourself into that corner ? Just be plain and straight as he was. So that if it doesn’t stop he cannot act surprised that he’s suddenly having a bad afternoon. He will think “ oh shat. He wasn’t joking , this hurts “. I believe in politely but positively letting people know where the line is. Your suggestion does that. But. It doesn’t list the consequence for crossing the line. Some people just have to have it spelled out. Sad. But true.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > **That’s not to say that threats of violence are often the correct language either. Only as a last resort. ** But. You have to be blunt. People who see nothing wrong with name calling , or singling out the same folks constantly for their amusement , wont heed a polite request. I generally grin and take it. It’s one of those instances I’ve described as when someone mistakes silence for weakness or complicity. Then when the last straw is broken , that person plays the part of the shocked victim who has no idea that they were offending anyone. It’s just an odd conundrum , people that is. We’re all taught to try to get along. So we take certain amounts of everything. But when it’s goes too far the person who is the instigator is rarely The one who ends up being held accountable.

> > > > >

> > > > > So you're a mind reader too ? LOL

> > > > >

> > > > > 

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > "Only as a last resort". That's what you just said. What about his story gave you ANY indication there was no other choice and it was as a last resort ?

> > > > >

> > > > > You seem to feel very strongly both ways.

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > > Yes I am a people watcher by nature. And think very strongly in several directions all the time. Very few hard absolutes in this world. But many many 99.9% cases. Always be careful of the .1% guy. He’s a tricky one to pin down.

> > > >

> > > > As for his story. Hard to say. I took it to mean that he’d reached his point of fill. At that point it can be said that choices have ran out. And action is the next step. Of course action is a choice. As is continued inaction . But when you desire the result to change you are pretty much left with the one option. To continue the same and expect a different out come is after all , the definition of nuts.

> > >

> > > That's a lot of words to basically say nothing. So by your non-answer I can only assume there was NOTHING in the story that gave any indication this was a last resort (your terminology & presumed "trigger").

> > >

> > > Attack first (just in case), apologize (if necessary) later.

> > >

> > > ~~Gotcha !!!~~ Understood !!! (<---edited since the "Gotcha" seems to have been misinterpreted (<----- see how EASY that sort of thing is ? LOL))

> >

> > Man, you've convinced me. You really are smarter and more advanced than the rest of us blockheads. Thanks for gracing us with your superiorness.

>

> You get the sense that he never not got in trouble at school because he never talked back to the bully.

>

> Of course, he never had any lunch money either....

 

Funny but one might get the sense that you actually were the bully,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Despite what some people (apparently) think it's really not all that hard to get along with most people.