For those of you that have lost your golf thirst - how did you get it back?

[Torrey4Life]

Title says it all.  

 

Background:  Took the sport up at the tender age of 34.  Went bonkers, broke 80 I believe 2 years in, by year 3 I was a legit 6.5 index (Torrey South is my home course).  All of my buddies I used to play with moved out of SoCal, then during and after covid Torrey became impossible to get a decent time.  Personal life and such came in...long story short, I haven't been out since October.  Wen on a launch monitor and I still do quite well (long and very straight generally, with clubhead speed with the driver 108 or a bit more)...but I feel very MEH about going out to the course.  Not sure why...all of the above?  Hard to get on my home course, my friends aren't around anymore, my kids don't really want to get out to shorter courses anymore.  I used to go out solo ALL the time, anywhere, but now I can't seem to be bothered.

 

 

For any of you that've been here, what did you do to break out of it?  I want to want to get out, but for quite a while I can't be bothered.

 

Thanks in advance all.

 

 

 

[Ferguson]

You can't wait for all the stars to line up.  

[ChaosTheory]

If it drops out of your life during your young family period, it’s not permanent.  Opportunity and desire will come along at some point again.

[OnTheBag]

5 hours ago, Torrey4Life said:

For any of you that've been here, what did you do to break out of it?  I want to want to get out, but for quite a while I can't be bothered.

I've been playing golf for something something like 55 years now and worked in the industry my entire adult life.  Passion for anything comes and goes.  The more effort it takes to execute, the less pleasure we receive from it.  I've seen touring pros walk away for a few years then come back later in life, so don't sweat the small stuff.  

 

With a young family comes new responsibilities.  Those often conflict with our hobbies and even when you do find time to play, those responsibilities are always at the forefront of your thoughts.  There are a thousand things you need to be doing everyday as your family develops.  It is impossible to put those things totally out of your mind while you spend 4-5 hours at the golf course.  Don't worry about it.  Take care of your family and as your kids age, free time will re-appear at some point down the road.  

 

Best of luck.  

[bakere]

1 hour ago, Snowman9000 said:

If it drops out of your life during your young family period, it’s not permanent.  Opportunity and desire will come along at some point again.

Lol I'm the opposite. I have a young family and wish I'd stop wanting to golf/improve my swing. Absolutely maddening really. Have a million things I need to get done, but I just want to play golf better. It's like an itch that can't be scratched.

[vandyfan]

38 minutes ago, bakere said:

Lol I'm the opposite. I have a young family and wish I'd stop wanting to golf/improve my swing. Absolutely maddening really. Have a million things I need to get done, but I just want to play golf better. It's like an itch that can't be scratched.

 

10000% this. I wish I didn't care about golf. I could save money, time and brain space that is constantly devoted to this pursuit. I am obsessive about trying to improve and I think about golf constantly. I wish I could have a casual or no relationship with golf. Can we trade @Torrey4Life? I wish I was obsessed with just being a dad and going to work. 

[bakere]

16 minutes ago, vandyfan said:

 

10000% this. I wish I didn't care about golf. I could save money, time and brain space that is constantly devoted to this pursuit. I am obsessive about trying to improve and I think about golf constantly. I wish I could have a casual or no relationship with golf. Can we trade @Torrey4Life? I wish I was obsessed with just being a dad and going to work. 

Lol yes exactly.

[MelloYello]

It's not uncommon for my interest drop. It usually has something to do with the following:

 

(1) Becoming a Range addict

If I go back 5 years, there was a time when not only did I fall in love with beating balls at the range but at some point I actually lost most of the desire to go play. Eventually I had to force myself back out onto the course and start playing more 9-hole rounds after work instead of just heading to the range. 

 

(2) Isolation

There was a time long ago when I didn't have many golf friends. I practiced alone and played more rounds as a single than with anyone else. And when I did play with someone it was only as a 2some. This can become really depressing especially when we don't play as well as we want to. Many people just get depressed when they're forced to think about how much time & money they're putting in only to be failing at something all by their lonesome. I don't recommend it. 

 

(3) Over-play

If you have a 3-day weekend that doesn't necessarily mean you should play golf all 3 days, especially if you're going to be critical about your performance. Being physically tired or mentally exhausted can have a big impact on how we play. Days off are useful. Playing as often as you can might sound fun but it can be counter-productive to playing well. I try to avoid over-play, at least in terms of signing up for competitive money games. You have to have fun, too. It can't always be compete-compete-compete. 

 

(4) Temperature Extremes

When it's <50^o in the winter golf can get kind of pointless. The ground is wet and the grass is dormant. The conditions are terrible and you are generally too cold to be comfortable. Likewise, when the temperatures gets up above 90^o in the middle of summer it can also because a real slog playing day after day. 

 

(5) When life interferes

It might be relationships, kids or your career. Any of those things can easily drag you away from golf--and that's totally reasonable. Golf takes A LOT of time out of your day. You have practice, prep yourself, commute, warm-up, play, settle up, commute home, clean up and by the end it's often a full day. Try and pair that with a big day at work or a bunch of yardwork or time with the family and it just gets impossible. 

[acemandrake]

1 hour ago, MelloYello said:

It's not uncommon for my interest drop. It usually has something to do with the following:

 

(1) Becoming a Range addict

If I go back 5 years, there was a time when not only did I fall in love with beating balls at the range but at some point I actually lost most of the desire to go play. Eventually I had to force myself back out onto the course and start playing more 9-hole rounds after work instead of just heading to the range. 

 

(2) Isolation

There was a time long ago when I didn't have many golf friends. I practiced alone and played more rounds as a single than with anyone else. And when I did play with someone it was only as a 2some. This can become really depressing especially when we don't play as well as we want to. Many people just get depressed when they're forced to think about how much time & money they're putting in only to be failing at something all by their lonesome. I don't recommend it. 

 

(3) Over-play

If you have a 3-day weekend that doesn't necessarily mean you should play golf all 3 days, especially if you're going to be critical about your performance. Being physically tired or mentally exhausted can have a big impact on how we play. Days off are useful. Playing as often as you can might sound fun but it can be counter-productive to playing well. I try to avoid over-play, at least in terms of signing up for competitive money games. You have to have fun, too. It can't always be compete-compete-compete. 

 

(4) Temperature Extremes

When it's <50^o in the winter golf can get kind of pointless. The ground is wet and the grass is dormant. The conditions are terrible and you are generally too cold to be comfortable. Likewise, when the temperatures gets up above 90^o in the middle of summer it can also because a real slog playing day after day. 

 

(5) When life interferes

It might be relationships, kids or your career. Any of those things can easily drag you away from golf--and that's totally reasonable. Golf takes A LOT of time out of your day. You have practice, prep yourself, commute, warm-up, play, settle up, commute home, clean up and by the end it's often a full day. Try and pair that with a big day at work or a bunch of yardwork or time with the family and it just gets impossible. 

All true & nicely said.

 

I'd add this:  Be flexible/fluid with expectations.  This thought really hits home as we get older.  

[Jc0]

I've had similar feeling. The question you need to ask yourself is why do you play golf. For me at the end of the day, no matter how I play, it's still a good 3-4 hours of outside time I wouldn't get otherwise. Throwing some beverages in the bag doesn't hurt either. 

 

I will say dealing with busy courses is a downer. My suggestion would be to play twilight and just see how much you can play. Normally the course is a bit more empty so you can move around pretty good. I like jumping holes just to hit balls and not really care about score.

[mangohead]

Take a break

Come back when you miss it

Can't force a hobby

[DwightC]

You're between golf tribes.  Look, golf has lots of tribes on the course.  From the teams of young flatbelly competitors dreaming of the tour to the retiree/ friendly game guys.  The bro golf crowd.  The business golfers with the bag tag that proclaims 'vice president of . . .'  Serious amateurs who're competitive, to a point.  From your original post, it sounds like you were a type--the guy who comes to the game late, commits to it, gets really good, then what . . . 

 

Well, there isn't a fix, or a right answer.  I can tell you that if you walk away for a while, then get the itch to get out and play, to come back for whatever reason, the skill set will come back.  It may take a year or so, but assuming you're not trying to feed your family with a golf hustle, give it time and enjoy the process.  

[ANimz]

Joining a competitive league might help.  I get that way at times, and just force myself to go.  Or I will find something technical that I want to work on.  

[pup142]

Feel the same way. Covid has wrecked a lot of golfers and me living in Fort Myers Fl.after the hurricane has killed my desire. Been out a few times this year and was once was a pretty good golfer (75-85) but don’t know if I want to put the time back in to be good again.Down here it is getting so expensive to play and the winter months rounds take about 5 hrs as most are tourists and will pay whatever. You can play this time of year for a reasonable price but it rains about everyday this time of year.  Tired of getting wet with thunder I guess.Been here 10 years and the courses are packed now not like it was when I moved here. Substituted the gym for golf and don’t think I will ever get the desire I once had. 3-4 times a week I played before COVID. Fort Myers for golf in the winter months is outrageous now too. Hard to pay $100 bucks in the winter for a course in the rainy summer months for $ 25-35 bucks Would not recommend moving here for golf.

Edited May 29, 2023 by pup142

[Desert Golf]

I started playing in my mid 30's and gave up golf at age 50 when our daughter started college.  I wanted to help her with tuition costs and it coincided when my golfing buddy moved out of state.   I put my clubs in the closet and basically stopped cold turkey; stopped watching golf, and stopped thinking about golf.

 

When I retired last fall at age 56 I got the urge to get back into golf.  I landed a part time job (10-20 hours/week) at a nearby golf course as a starter/marshal in the Palm Springs area and I'm back to loving the game more than ever.   Our daughter has finished grad school and started her career, I'm retired and want to get out of the house, and I have a new set of golf buddies who are also my coworkers.  

 

It's ok to take a break but I'm pretty sure you will want to get back into golf when the time is right for you.

Edited May 29, 2023 by Desert Golf

[Bye]

I fell out of love with golf for a long time. lots of injuries and not being able to play as much for work and family reasons meant I was just getting worse. It even got to the stage that I didn't touch a club for nearly 3 years. 

 

My first round back was at a work conference, my new boss at the time wanted to play and it seemed like a good idea to get to know him better. I still remember standing on the 2nd fairway at Metrowest in Orlando thinking I just don't want to be here.

 

But after a while I started to miss it a bit and joined a nearby club. Fortunately at the time we could just turn up and play, so I joined up with small group I knew a few of them a little and met some others. I am an introvert so I had to make an effort, it was hard a times but roll on 10 years and I have some good friends there now and look forward to playing again.

 

[third-times-a-charm]

Start the side-hobby of equipment buying/testing. Itll keep you busy in golf for ages.

[caeye0710]

Feels like I go through a spell once or twice a year. After marriage and two daughters, I don’t have the time to dedicate myself to my game and I’m barely the player I once was, which I’m sure is the same story for lots of us. 
 

Kids are still young so the only time I really play is when I sneak out during the work week, in which I either feel guilty for not being at work or distracted with emails. 
 

Im also not a range rat. I don’t feel like I get any value or feedback like I do on the course. 
 

I take 2-3 trips a year with buddies. My passion fires up a bout a month out on each one, and then fizzles afterward. 
 

Hoping when the kids are older I’ll be able to get back into playing more. I’d rather hang out with them at this age until they start doing their own thing. 

[TOAST69]

Iv been there too, when my 2 boys were born i stopped playing for about 4 to 6 years. Did not watch golf, did not read golf nothing.. My brothers were still playing and trying to get me to play again but i couldn't be bothered as I had responsibilities. Something last year triggered my enthusiasm for the game again, my boys have grown up (8 & 5 years old) so i introduced them to the game and they absolutely love it which makes it easier for me to go out and play now, granted its on short courses a lot of the time, but im happy to be out playing and enjoying the game with my boys.

[aenemated]

Does require a bit of a story. 

 

Started playing with my dad when I was around like 7 or 8. Prior to that, when we'd go on family vacations all I wanted to do was play mini-golf. When Jack won at Augusta in 86 and dad was so stoked, I was like "I wanna be that good! I want to beat Jack Nicklaus!" Pretty soon after, he picked me up a set of old irons from a garage sale, had 'em cut down by the "pro" at the local crappy muni for me and off we went. And then for the next like 12, 13 years, the only thing in the world I cared about was golf. Played in some AJGA stuff, I was going to a little private school (this is NOT as fancy as it sounds, given when it was and where I'm from) that was K-12 and I made the high school golf team when I was in 7th grade. Won All Conference every year on my high school team, many medalist wins, really blew getting any college attention with a kinda crappy senior year performance by the necessary standards. I know WHY - by this point, I'd discovered playing music and trying to be awesome at TWO things was pretty tough and time consuming. 

 

Kept at it anyway once I got to college and tried to walk on but simply wasn't good enough to play at NCSU.

 

Then my dad died in an auto accident in 1999. Dad was always the anchor with golf for me and after that ... it all kinda went away. Still kept up with tour golf - this was prime Tiger years, after all - and played every so often, the occasional range trip but it just wasn't a thing anymore. Had my music, was in some promising bands so, ya know, whatever. 

 

Couple times over the years where it kinda sorta came back ... but never really.

 

Till a chance encounter with a former co-worker - and still beloved friend. At a prior job back in 2017, Slack would randomly select folks from our department to go to lunch together on Fridays that the company would pay for. Always a fan of a free lunch, I took every opportunity. One particular one, I got selected with our VP of Engineering - kinda my ultimate boss - and a new hire that'd been brought on to handle GDPR stuff. Incredibly rad fella from Ireland. 

 

In casual conversation on the way to lunch, I was just like "Doing anything fun this weekend?" And he was like "Oh, just playing golf with some mates." "Oh rad. I played a lot when I was a kid. Not so much anymore." "Well, you should come play with us sometime!"

 

I very specifically remember a pause, a thought and then "Ya know, that'd be a lot of fun." 

 

Did a handful of range sessions and while it wasn't pretty, it wasn't the worst. And finally hit him up and was like "Where we playing this weekend?" 

 

"Ay, we got room at The Ike in Industry Hills. 7:30AM Saturday if you're in."

 

"Absolutely."

 

Man, to this point, the majority of the last 10 years of my life had been spent in the Frolic Room on Hollywood Blvd. (Little on the earlier end was with a band, but that shut down in 2012 and I "officially" retired from music) Shuttin it down. Especially on Fridays. Shuttin it down and sleeping off the booze till 2 or 3PM. To be somewhere nearly an hour away - and having actually slept - at 7:30AM? Madness. 

 

But that Friday, I got home from work, ate some dinner, took the pups for a walk and went to bed early. Woke up at 5AM, loaded up and rolled out. 

 

Industry Hills is a lovely club. Weirdly situated in a particularly industrial looking part of LA. Aptly named, indeed. I arrived, found parking, awkwardly changed shoes from the front seat of my lil two-seater sports car (who needs space for anything when you're just a Hollywood degenerate?), grabbed my very old bag out of the passenger seat and started walking towards the clubhouse to check in.

 

And man ... that's when everything hit me. Summer of 2017, I was about to turn 40. It'd been a good 20 years since I'd done that little walk from the parking lot to the clubhouse with the bag strapped around my back and the smell of freshly mown grass in the morning just surrounding me. So many memories came flooding back. The morning sun peaking the hills and trees, the little crunch in my feet of spikes (still miss the sound of metal spikes on pavement), the sound of a distant mower, the particular way birds sound in the morning - this whole peaceful environment and feeling, it was tremendous and overwhelming. 

 

I don't entirely remember how I played that day. I'm sure it was absolutely awful. But so many amazing feelings and memories that just reminded me of the days I wasn't the caricature I'd created over my years in Vegas and LA and in music. I was just that kid again that loved being at the golf course. The only bummer is it wasn't with dad. 

 

That's what brought it back. And really glad it did - because there're two things I know I absolutely love. One is playing a show for a crowd that digs what I'm doing - and I'm fortunate to be doing that again. The other is just being on a golf course - which keeps me with dad, some 24 years now he's been gone. 

Edited June 3, 2023 by aenemated

[MelloYello]

On 5/26/2023 at 3:15 AM, Torrey4Life said:

...but I feel very MEH about going out to the course.  Not sure why...all of the above?  Hard to get on my home course, my friends aren't around anymore, my kids don't really want to get out to shorter courses anymore.  I used to go out solo ALL the time, anywhere, but now I can't seem to be bothered.

 

Not sure I picked up on this as much as I should've in my first post but I went through a similar stretch. When I began golf in my early 20s I had a regular playing partner as well as a couple other guys who'd join in when they could. Likewise, I now have a huge group of golf buddies with whom I play at my club these days. 

 

That said, there was a huge period of 2-3 years in between when I was approaching 30 when I moved away from my hometown for work and basically had no golf friends. It was in that stretch that golf became really depressing and isolating. I posted some back then about quitting and just feeling really empty. I couldn't get on the course without thinking some really dark thoughts. I couldn't get around the fact that I had no reason to be out there and the struggles made it all the more unbearable. 

 

So I would definitely advise being careful. Don't force yourself to play golf if it makes you unhappy. In hindsight the best thing I couldn't done at that point was to probably pull back and just put golf on the backburner for a time but IDK, that can be really hard. 

 

Sticking with it encouraged me to join a private club later on and as I said, that's led to a wonderful time where now I know 20-30 different people who all have a strong passion for golf and it's really heaven. So, IDK, maybe sometimes we have to suffer through those dark times? Who knows? 

 

But don't force it because golf can really lead to some dark places that aren't worth going. If you don't have the passion for it, just take some time off and enjoy the million other things life has to offer. 

 

 

.

Edited June 3, 2023 by MelloYello

[Naptime]

I got back into it when my adult son figured golf would be useful in his work.  I taught him when he was agreed schooler.  So he asked if I'd play to give him some practice.  So I did and now he outdrives me by 80 yards.  

[sfleming]

I've had two LONG layoffs from golf. From 1998-2006 I'd just met my wife to be and had a new job and I just wasn't interested at all in playing. 

 

I got full into it again in '06 and picked up where I'd left off. Playing with my brother every weekend, plus lots of range time.

 

Unfortunately work moved me away from the Bay Area in '08. I still liked playing but I only went out as a single for like the next 5 years. I got to playing my best golf ever and was playing all the time again, but finally my knee was such a mess that I hung up the bag in '13 and didn't start playing again until '21 after my knee replacement. 

 

I REALLY missed playing during that time from 13-21; I just couldn't physically. I get out as much as I can again now since I know that something this fun can be taken away from you if you're unlucky. 

 

[AngryGilmore]

I didn't get out much the last couple of years and I was playing rancid golf.  It was so bad that I was considering quitting altogether.  Then in October, I had a hemmorhagic stroke.  The stroke (which has about a 50% fatality rate) affected absolutely nothing.  I almost lost the ability to play entirely so now I'm getting out and appreciating it again.  

[Pepperturbo]

On 5/26/2023 at 12:15 AM, Torrey4Life said:

For any of you that've been here, what did you do to break out of it?  I want to want to get out, but for quite a while I can't be bothered.

There is NO one answer for all because the reasons behind leaving the game behind, vary for people.  Intellectually wanting something is like knowing something is right, but doing the opposite.  If you haven't got the motivation, you can make it up.

[Tiptx1122]

I used to buy my clubs in the off season to get ready for the following year as that has helped in the past as we have such long winters here in Ohio. Now the only time when I lose my desire is when I'm favoring soreness in my back from time to time and need to take a break