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How patient do I need to be with my 9 year old daughter?
killer21 ·


My daughter is not obsessive about golf but she loves to play, she knows she is good and knows she needs to practice as the girls she plays against are scoring ridiculously well. An 8 year old had a hole in one in our group Sunday, while the winner shot 37 and four girls tied for second with 40 in brutally cold and windy conditions -My daughter shot a terrible 49 - shanked a sand wedge and GW leading to triples and didn't make any birdies. The week before 3 girls tied with 36, my daughter was 7th, 5 shots back with a 41 (1 birdie and 6 bogies, nothing worse). She has played U.S Kids since she was 5. She has great power, she is just not as consistent with short game and short irons. I feel she is progressing and as talented as the girls she is playing against physically but she is not getting the results. These girls are machines! Does she need to step it up or continue to be patient as it doesn't really matter at this age? We do a range night, short game night and usually a practice round before each tournament as well as a bit of putting in the house. Is this enough? How much are these girls practicing? Her coach doesn't have the same sense of urgency I do but I see how these other girls are doing and I am afraid we are falling behind in progress but I am confident in her abilities.
(Thanks in advance for any comments or experience as this is a bit of therapy for me).
(Thanks in advance for any comments or experience as this is a bit of therapy for me).
Posted:
Ping I15 8* Fubuki Tour
X-Hot (2006) Vista Pro 80
X-Hot Pro Hybrids 18, 23
Wilson D100 25* Hybrid
X-Tour S300
Vokey 50, 54, 58
X-Hot (2006) Vista Pro 80
X-Hot Pro Hybrids 18, 23
Wilson D100 25* Hybrid
X-Tour S300
Vokey 50, 54, 58
Comments
8252
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2947
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FW - who knows
P790 UDI 17* - PX 7.0
Miura CB 1008(4-P) - PX 7.0
Bridgestone TourB XW1 50/55//60* - X100
Piretti Matera 2 Limited Release
https://www.instagram.com/rc_nova
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Yes, and the other 9 year olds are making a tonne of birdies, not to mention the odd ace. (Then they go for ice cream after)
X-Hot (2006) Vista Pro 80
X-Hot Pro Hybrids 18, 23
Wilson D100 25* Hybrid
X-Tour S300
Vokey 50, 54, 58
2365
5
I think you should drop her off at the course and then pick her up 4 hours later. Ask her if she had fun and take her out for some ice cream.
Colleges don’t care how many birdies they had when they were 9.
Bobby: I play because I love it.
Walter: Well I play for the money. I have to win. That is why every time we face each other I will always beat you.
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Why is playing good golf important to you? her?
996
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Some key pointss IMHO.
#1: Your daughter has to want to improve. Some very, very, very gentle nudging doesn't hurt too much, but it is far better for her to ask you to take her to the driving range/putting/chipping or playing nine holes than it is for you to ask her if she wants to go practice or play.
#2: If she does want to work on her game, you need to take some time and analyze where she is losing strokes in the tournaments? Work on those weak areas.
#3: See #1.
-- Two things don't last long. Dogs chasing cars and golf pro's putting for pars. --
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I hated that sort of thing when my daughter was that age. She would be essentially competing whit parents when it came time to read a putt. The thing is as they get older those kids usually don’t get better but actually get worse. I can’t tell you how many times I see the kid who was winning at 9 be at the bottom of the group when there 12 or 13 and suddenly have to caddie for themselves.
Unfortunately a lot hype for girls have been to push them to make the LPGA before there teenagers which seems to be younger and younger every year. Boys don’t have this problem as much and can learn to play.
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She was discouraged from signing up this season because of her average scores. Her highest finish was second one week when a couple top girls didn't compete. Instead of comparing your daughter to the top girls, just track her own progress. Analyze her record to the field. If she placed 5 out of 10, Her record is 5-4. She beat some girls. Look at simply improving her own scores week to week, over the course of the season, instead of comparing her to the top finishers.
At this age, I consider it a success that my daughter is still playing, and she has recently become much more willing to practice. Don't worry about outcomes right now, just keep it interesting. Kids that are successful at this age are either naturally talented athletes, or externally motivated by their parents. The first group will be hard to keep up with at any age. The second group will often drop out once they find their own voice.
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Ultimately, you cannot force a kid to "want to win". In many respects, I think it is detrimental to force that kind of attitude on kids. Both life and sports are about more than winning. What you should be focused on is whether or not your kid is enjoying what they are doing, and becoming a better person through the endeavor.
You just have to treat it like that a take what comes.
Callaway Diablo Octane Tour 13* - Aldila NV 75 Stiff
or
Callaway Diablo Edge Tour 15* - Accra Dymatch M5 75
Mizuno F-50 18* - Stock Stiff
or
Callaway Diablo Edge Tour Hybrid 21* - Aldila NV 85 Stiff
Callaway RAZR Tour Hybrid 24* - Stock XStiff
5 - PW Cleveland CG7 Tour Black Pearl - DGSL S300
Vokey Design 200 Series 52* Stock Wedge (?)
Cleveland CG15 Oilcan 56* Stock Wedge
Callaway X-Series JAWS Slate CC 58* Stock Wedge
Odyssey White Ice #7 - Golf Pride Oversize
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6340
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And I'd be willing to bet a significant amount of those girls will abandon the sport when they burn out in the next decade. Is that what you want for her? Let her learn to love the game, let her have fun. 49 as a 9 year old is fantastic!! My brother coaches a boys high school golf team and you'd be shocked how many cannot shoot that.
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Ask yourself two simple questions:
1) Is she having fun and enjoys the game?
2) Is she getting better?
As long as it yes to both of these at age 9, relax and enjoy the ride.
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The great thing is, she is only 9. She has to understand that when you play baseball, tennis, basketball, soccer, etc. that there is always a 50/50 chance at winning and losing that day. With golf you have to set goals to achieve, because if there are 10 girls in the field, she only has a 10% chance of winning. Set long term and short term goals for that day. If you worry about achieving the goals rather than winning and losing, before long she will win one.
8497
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I agree with all of this. Great post. Also, golf parents need to stop worrying about what others are doing as it will drive you nuts.
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3423
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100% agree with this. I don't worry about what others are doing and drive myself nuts. Wait until you cats start trying to figure out how the rankings work and the best tournaments to play in to get rankings up.
1648
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Let this statement sink in for a minute.
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To me this depends on the coach who is teaching. If you have a good coach with a lot experience like say for example Iteach then you should let it sink in.
However sometimes you have a guy who can't break 90 or pass the PAT test and says he is great and acts like he knows everything. Look and around and see if this guy actually has taught anyone who is winning anything. If you don't see anyone it might be time fire the guy and get someone who knows what he is talking about. The sad truth is happens more then people think. Everyone says they have the best coach but few really know a good one from a bad one.
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1648
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Point missed...
IMO, the only thing urgent about a 9 year old is what flavor of ice cream to get. I think the coach has the right idea.
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I disagree.
The most urgent thing is choosing the toppings on their frozen yogurts.
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Cobra F8 5-6 Fwy at 18.5° Stiff
Ping i20 3 Hyb 707H Stiff
X2 Hot 4_-PW Recoil 660 F3 +1/2"
Vokey SM2 52º cc, Ping ES 56º and ES 60º
Ping Sigma2 Valor at 34.75"
MCC Align Midsize
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If these threads were only for the sake of the OP, they would all be very short. And very boring. The best threads happen when discussions evolve.
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Progress towards what? And who is this "we"?
Is this about what your daughter wants out of golf, or what you wanted out of golf?
Hybrid: Titleist 816 H1, 19*
Long Iron: Ping iE1, 26*
Mid Iron: Ping iE1, 32*
Short Iron: Ping iE1, 41*
Wedge: Ping iE1, 45*
Gap: Ping Glide SS, 52*
Lob: Ping Glide ES, 60*
Putter: Yes Callie Mid, 41"
Ball: Bridgestone Tour B XS
Bag: Ping Mascot
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Does it really matter? I know when I pay for lessons I want results. I been with instructors who have no goals and it truly a waste of money and time for everyone.
I question the instruction because the op is wondering why he doesn’t have the same sense of urgency. When you have a good instructor worrying about falling behind isn’t in your head in the first place. If I was the op I would look around and see my options. A lot junior instructors are just working under a pro and have no real certifications. You also get what you pay for too.
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It matters to the 9 year old.
Hybrid: Titleist 816 H1, 19*
Long Iron: Ping iE1, 26*
Mid Iron: Ping iE1, 32*
Short Iron: Ping iE1, 41*
Wedge: Ping iE1, 45*
Gap: Ping Glide SS, 52*
Lob: Ping Glide ES, 60*
Putter: Yes Callie Mid, 41"
Ball: Bridgestone Tour B XS
Bag: Ping Mascot
100
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I hated that sort of thing when my daughter was that age. She would be essentially competing whit parents when it came time to read a putt. The thing is as they get older those kids usually don't get better but actually get worse. I can't tell you how many times I see the kid who was winning at 9 be at the bottom of the group when there 12 or 13 and suddenly have to caddie for themselves."
This is very true! I try not to be "that" dad. She has good manners on the course, she plays fast, doesn't take forever to line up putts and putt out. I try to do the right thing with her and that is exactly what happened..., the dad did everything but hit the shot and the girl gets an ace, her second one this year at 8. She is a fairly new player, we had never seen her before. It was great to see, second one we have had in our group in as many years but makes me ask what am I doing wrong! Thank you for the responses....absolutely great discussion and I appreciate a lot of advice on here. I think it is a great reminder to keep letting her set her own goals and progress at her pace even though frustrating (maybe mostly for me). BTW, her coach has a fantastic resume, good demeanor and played Div 1 and some LPGA but is very unassuming, she would never talk about it. She said to set goals and play the course. I appreciate the support here as I guess it just got to me a bit this weekend! My daughter doubts herself some times. I don't ever want her to doubt her talent and golf mind - they are both great. Hopefully this will help some other parents in a similar situation.
X-Hot (2006) Vista Pro 80
X-Hot Pro Hybrids 18, 23
Wilson D100 25* Hybrid
X-Tour S300
Vokey 50, 54, 58
100
1
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X-Hot (2006) Vista Pro 80
X-Hot Pro Hybrids 18, 23
Wilson D100 25* Hybrid
X-Tour S300
Vokey 50, 54, 58
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996
5
Below is some sage advice from TigerMom on internet postings in a public forum and what to do with them. This post below is one of my favorite posts from 2018.
-- Two things don't last long. Dogs chasing cars and golf pro's putting for pars. --