Wife is jealous of golf

[RickK]

In my case, it also ended in divorce. She filed, not me. Other than 2 kids, we did not have a lot that had to be divided and I knew there was no way I could get custody of the kids. Back then, they were almost always given to the mother regardless of the situation. So, I did not fight it. Was sitting in front of her lawyer discussing the property settlement and I will never forget her lawyers comments to her...."Mrs Kxxxxxxx, have the 2 of you ever thought about going to counseling instead of getting a divorce?" Her reply..."Well the counselor would have to go to the golf course to hold a session with him!". And with that...we were pretty much done (other than the judge actually issuing the divorce decree).
I played way less golf back then than I do now. She was jealous of anything I did that did not include her. But then there were so many things that she did not want to do.
I had my wedding ring turned into a ball marker.

[Joe Rockhead]

Kids should come before golf.

[poppyhillsguy]

Married for 17 years and she's never asked me how I played after a round. Part jealous and part female dog.

[dcmidnight]

[quote name='MtlJeff' timestamp='1411241034' post='10153573']
if your wife doesn't have a hobby and you do, you are screwed, it's usually that simple...

every single guy i know who either plays golf , or basketball, or whatever, and their wife/girlfriend just stays at home....eventually she nags at them to quit their hobbies and stay home with her more. My friend's ex used to be the worst, every time he'd play she'd text him 20 times "when will you be home " etc etc
[/quote]

This x100.

If that's your wife's personality then if she wasnt jealous of your golf habit it would be something else. Chances are pretty good you wouldn't just come home and sit in a chair and stare at the wall all day. So if it wasnt golf she would be jealous of your - motorcycle, shooting, basketball, bike riding, poker with your boys - insert other time sucking habit here.

For me it was pretty simple, I went out of my way to find someone that loved golf as much as I did. Since I work earlier hours I still get time to go to the club by myself and play but whenever we plan long trips together its awesome to know that she is looking at golf resorts first. In fact, we got married off the 18th green at Kiawah.

[mwkbmw]

[quote name='dcmidnight' timestamp='1411482396' post='10168609']
[quote name='MtlJeff' timestamp='1411241034' post='10153573']
if your wife doesn't have a hobby and you do, you are screwed, it's usually that simple...

every single guy i know who either plays golf , or basketball, or whatever, and their wife/girlfriend just stays at home....eventually she nags at them to quit their hobbies and stay home with her more. My friend's ex used to be the worst, every time he'd play she'd text him 20 times "when will you be home " etc etc
[/quote]

This x100.

If that's your wife's personality then if she wasnt jealous of your golf habit it would be something else. Chances are pretty good you wouldn't just come home and sit in a chair and stare at the wall all day. So if it wasnt golf she would be jealous of your - motorcycle, shooting, basketball, bike riding, poker with your boys - insert other time sucking habit here.

For me it was pretty simple, I went out of my way to find someone that loved golf as much as I did. Since I work earlier hours I still get time to go to the club by myself and play but [b]whenever we plan long trips together its awesome to know that she is looking at golf resorts first[/b]. In fact, we got married off the 18th green at Kiawah.
[/quote]

I am officially jealous.

[MountainKing]

I must be lucky, I've never once gotten grief about golfing regardless of how much or how little I do it in a week. I think it helps that she has hobbies and we also make sure we have plenty of activities that we do together to continue to grow our connection.

[bub72ck]

My wife and I were both collegiate golfers and love the game. We play a lot of golf when we first met and were married. We played some together and she had her group of ladies and I had my group of guys. Now that we have a two year old neither of us play nearly as much golf as we used to and she doesn't hardly play at all. I know she will come back around to it when the time is right and she doesn't have a problem with me playing whenever I ask. I don't ever feel like I have to have her "premission" but do it out of respect. We have always had good communication and to me that is the key to every part of a relationship, not just how much golf you play.

[teckneeklyperfect]

Hey now, this is WRX, [u][i][b]nothing[/b][/i][/u] should come before Golf

[dmblanch]

What we really need to know in order to give OP proper advice is ..... what does the wife in question look like?

Makes a big difference. If I were Jason Duffner, I'd never play again till Amanda hit 40. With my ex, I'd be booking tee times 3 weeks in advance.

[Loki]

[quote name='dmblanch' timestamp='1411497646' post='10170165']
If I were Jason Duffner, I'd never play again till Amanda hit 40. With my ex, I'd be booking tee times 3 weeks in advance.
[/quote]

And give up the really good sex after 40? No thanks.

[Lord Helmet]

Havent read everything here...I consider myself lucky. Wife has no issue with me playing 99/100 times. The one time she objects - I know better not to push it.

[Kaysquare]

[quote name='dmblanch' timestamp='1411497646' post='10170165']
What we really need to know in order to give OP proper advice is ..... what does the wife in question look like?

Makes a big difference. If I were Jason Duffner, I'd never play again till Amanda hit 40. With my ex, I'd be booking tee times 3 weeks in advance.
[/quote]Here's a news flash for ya......Amanda will probably still look great at 40, maybe even better than now.

[BrooklynGolfer]

I had the same issue. I have now come to a compromise where I can go to the range once a week and every weekend, 1 day is for golf, the other day I will do anything she wants. Works like a charm.

[swizbeatz]

[quote name='Kaysquare' timestamp='1411499080' post='10170319']
[quote name='dmblanch' timestamp='1411497646' post='10170165']
What we really need to know in order to give OP proper advice is ..... what does the wife in question look like?

Makes a big difference. If I were Jason Duffner, I'd never play again till Amanda hit 40. With my ex, I'd be booking tee times 3 weeks in advance.
[/quote]Here's a news flash for ya......Amanda will probably still look great at 40, maybe even better than now.
[/quote]

Haha, good one!

[bradley8302]

[quote name='Tanner25' timestamp='1411218328' post='10152335']Anyone have a wife that is jealous of your golf games? She says, that's all I think about, playing, reading and practicing golf. She is really upset. What do you guys do or say in this situation?

Tanner[/quote]
Honestly can't answer that bc my wife basically kicks me out on Sunday's. She has her side business that she makes crafts and jewelry for and I have mine aka collecting bets on the 18th green. I agree with an earlier post that everyone should have their own hobbies and maintain them in a marriage. I think it helps keep you sane and gives you that out for a while.

[Hot Rod 71]

If your wife has her own hobby and the two of you make "we" time, then you are golden.

If your wife has no hobby of her own and depends on "we" time to keep her busy and entertained then you are screwed. It wouldn't matter if you played golf or bingo, she will resent your time away.

[ctmason_98]

I can say without any trepidation that my wife would be angry if I played less golf.

Now I wasn't aware that "Mark" was a type of jewelry-making club....but I guess they need to call her a lot to know when I'm leaving so they can start the meeting. I can appreciate that.

[putts4bogey]

Reading this thread reminds me how lucky I am. My wife is very supportive of my play. She has surprised me with putters, clubs, clothes, balls and other golf-related gifts, paid my membership dues for me if I was out of town, will sometimes stop by the course and watch me finish the last hole with a cheer or a jeer depending on whether or not I make the putt and encourages me after a bad round/score.

I play early each weekend day and any other time I can get a break to play, so I have the remainder of the day available to her. I generally take her out to lunch (or dinner if playing later) after each round, and she typically asks me about how I played. It is never a hassle, argument or hurt feelings. We support one another's interests.

[forecast6236]

[quote name='putts4bogey' timestamp='1411521776' post='10172253']
Reading this thread reminds me how lucky I am. My wife is very supportive of my play. She has surprised me with putters, clubs, clothes, balls and other golf-related gifts, paid my membership dues for me if I was out of town, will sometimes stop by the course and watch me finish the last hole with a cheer or a jeer depending on whether or not I make the putt and encourages me after a bad round/score.

I play early each weekend day and any other time I can get a break to play, so I have the remainder of the day available to her. I generally take her out to lunch (or dinner if playing later) after each round, and she typically asks me about how I played. It is never a hassle, argument or hurt feelings. We support one another's interests.
[/quote]

That's really cool. My wife is also ok with golf since it's my only outlet and I find that one weekend day for golf and one for family each week is good balance. Then usually a weekday afternoon for a round.

I agree with previous posters who have suggested that women look at golf as you giving your attention to something else and they get jealous. The answer is to help them find hobbies but that can be challenging especially when kids come into the equation. I've found that there are little things you can do during the week to show that you care and that you're providing attention. Even if you think you're doing that, they don't always see it that way. Be verbose about it.

[hammy83]

Chalk up another failed marriage due to golf. divorced in 2011 after 2 years. There are a considerable about of other factors such as her being a whore. I think she just used "you golf too much and put golf before me" as an excuse so she could justify what/who she was doing. Either way... when I look back I am happy it ended. That crap was awful. I was actually miserable. I am now happier than I ever have been. The only time my future wife has an issue with me golfing is when it involves more than a few beers which is not that often. Other than that, she usually goes shopping or to her friends house... which usually involves a shopping trip. I'm just happy we have separate bank accounts!

[Hot Rod 71]

[quote name='hammy83' timestamp='1411559906' post='10174043']
Chalk up another failed marriage due to golf. divorced in 2011 after 2 years. There are a considerable about of other factors such as her being a whore. I think she just used "you golf too much and put golf before me" as an excuse so she could justify what/who she was doing. Either way... when I look back I am happy it ended. That crap was awful. I was actually miserable. I am now happier than I ever have been. The only time my future wife has an issue with me golfing is when it involves more than a few beers which is not that often. Other than that, she usually goes shopping or to her friends house... which usually involves a shopping trip. [b] I'm just happy we have separate bank accounts![/b]
[/quote]

I have found this makes things a whole lot easier. For me it was a condition I insisted on before we tied the knot.

We have our account for bills and savings. I have my own account and she has hers. I never ask her about hers and she doesn't ask about mine.

I think its important to have your own money.

[Roody]

[quote name='hammy83' timestamp='1411559906' post='10174043']
I'm just happy we have separate bank accounts!
[/quote]
My wife and I do as well. We have one joint account for joint bills, but the rest goes into separate accounts. As I said earlier, 15 years of marriage and not one argument about money.

Another key to a happy marriage is two large screen TV's in separate rooms. Not that the second TV gets used a lot, but it's nice to know it's there.

[Hot Rod 71]

[quote name='Roody' timestamp='1411561492' post='10174123']
[quote name='hammy83' timestamp='1411559906' post='10174043']
I'm just happy we have separate bank accounts!
[/quote]
My wife and I do as well. We have one joint account for joint bills, but the rest goes into separate accounts. As I said earlier, 15 years of marriage and not one argument about money.

[b]Another key to a happy marriage is two large screen TV's in separate rooms. Not that the second TV gets used a lot, but it's nice to know it's there.[/b]
[/quote]

Yuuup!!

[King_Slender]

[quote name='dmblanch' timestamp='1411365656' post='10160761']
I envy you guys who have carved out a place for golf in your relationships. I tried with my ex, but there was never a chance. And like others have said, it wasn't "golf" per se, it could have been any hobby, pasttime or outside interest. My ex simply wasn't going to stand for me having one, it was (and still is) her nature. But she's somebody else's domineering headache now.

[/quote]

I would say this mentality is the most common among wives who despise golf. They almost always view their husband golfing, not as time he enjoys golfing, but time he'd rather spend away from the family. My wife used to have this mentality that everytime I wanted to golf, I should have been going through some ranking of other things I could/should be doing at the time - doing something with the family, workign on things around the house, etc. Of course golf would never be at the top of the list of things I SHOULD be doing and my response has always been "Sorry, I have a hobby I'm not willing to give up."

At the same time, every time she brings up something she wants to do with friends, etc. I enthusiastically support it - go out, have fun, etc. even to the point that I encouraged her and another friend to book a trip to Europe for a week to visit a friend who is living there for a couple years.

Relationships are a lot more healthy when each person has something else to do besides focus on the relationship 24/7.

[Bad9]

[quote name='Hot Rod 71' timestamp='1411560969' post='10174095']
[quote name='hammy83' timestamp='1411559906' post='10174043']
Chalk up another failed marriage due to golf. divorced in 2011 after 2 years. There are a considerable about of other factors such as her being a whore. I think she just used "you golf too much and put golf before me" as an excuse so she could justify what/who she was doing. Either way... when I look back I am happy it ended. That crap was awful. I was actually miserable. I am now happier than I ever have been. The only time my future wife has an issue with me golfing is when it involves more than a few beers which is not that often. Other than that, she usually goes shopping or to her friends house... which usually involves a shopping trip. [b] I'm just happy we have separate bank accounts![/b]
[/quote]

I have found this makes things a whole lot easier. For me it was a condition I insisted on before we tied the knot.

We have our account for bills and savings. I have my own account and she has hers. I never ask her about hers and she doesn't ask about mine.

I think its important to have your own money.
[/quote]

My wife and I also have separate bank accounts and she insisted on it from the get go. She does marriage counselling as part of her profession ans says money issues cause way more break ups than infidelity.

To the OP I think there are issues going on that you should pay attention to. If you are as involved with golf as your post seems to suggest it might be wise to find some balance.

[tdelam]

Mine was jealous years ago but she also had a right to be when our kids were babies. Basically leaving her home to do all kinds of baby things while I go play golf all the time is not a good thing and I agree.

My kids are now 9 and 6 and she asks me when I am going golfing and even helps me find tee-times and new courses to try out within a 3 or 4 hour drive. In fact, I am heading to Seguin Valley tomorrow, i have never heard of the course but she found it for me!

My wife doesn't have a hobby except maybe Zumba, she goes every Tuesday and Thursday night for 2 hours and I paid for it for her. She is genuinely happy that I have something I enjoy.

Also, what i find helps a lot is I play golf early morning. 9 times out of 10 when I get home from golf, everyone is still in weekend mode in their PJ's! It leaves the entire day left to spend time with my wife and kids, the only thing I missed during my round is super early morning cartoons (which I love as well!)

[tdelam]

[quote name='RickKimbrell' timestamp='1411477096' post='10168065']
In my case, it also ended in divorce. She filed, not me. Other than 2 kids, we did not have a lot that had to be divided and I knew there was no way I could get custody of the kids. Back then, they were almost always given to the mother regardless of the situation. So, I did not fight it. Was sitting in front of her lawyer discussing the property settlement and I will never forget her lawyers comments to her...."Mrs Kxxxxxxx, have the 2 of you ever thought about going to counseling instead of getting a divorce?" Her reply..."Well the counselor would have to go to the golf course to hold a session with him!". And with that...we were pretty much done (other than the judge actually issuing the divorce decree).
I played way less golf back then than I do now. She was jealous of anything I did that did not include her. But then there were so many things that she did not want to do.
I had my wedding ring turned into a ball marker.
[/quote]

Wedding ring turned into a ball marker!!! oddly, this is the best idea ever. It's unfortunate it came to that but if life gives you lemons, make a pie!

[Twitch12]

While I am not married, I am in a long term relationship and marriage is not far off. I travel extensively for work and I play golf almost everyday that I am home, weather permitting. My girlfriend has no problem at all with it. She has even taken up the game. She is very competitive and doesn't like it that she can't beat me. lol I'm a 4 hdcp and she's been playing for a year. She was excited to join a country club, so she would be able to utilize the amenities. If anything, golf has improved our relationship. She enjoys when I go play because it gives her time to go shopping, read, clean, tan, etc.

[Goldenhawk]

Wife was jealous of golf and how golf is one of those strong bonds between me and my sons. That was up until this summer. I guess golf is one of those things she never took seriously and didn't think would take the boys anywhere in life. When Stephen finished second in the Drive, Chip and Putt qualifier, all the sudden she realized that he was really good at it. She made sure he had the professional look on the course with coordinated outfits. She actually told me to get him lessons and play with him when I could. It was a complete turnaround.

[DevilDog]

When I was married and played baseball for a living, my first wife after a time started complaining about all the time I spent on baseball. "Do you have to practice your swing at home?", "Do you have to be constantly watching video of baseball?" and the list of the things she complained about went on and on. Needless to say, that marriage was doomed. Thinking on it over the years, it comes down to the fact some women are high maintenance in that they want all your attention and expect you to entertain them. Anything that they perceive takes away your attention from them then must be done away with and they do that by removing you from it. It is all about power and control if you think about it. I do hope you can work this out but it may not. In my case, I was not going to stop being me. She knew what I was about before we got married and then set out to change me after. That doesn't fly.