Playing with people you’ve never met

[DoughBack18]

As a wandering golfer for the last few years (no longer a club member) I’ve been playing more rounds than ever before with people I’ve never met. I don’t have the luxury of consistently being able to make the now hour and half round trip to join up with my golfing buddies, so golfnows and random tee times when I get some free hours are now more of the norm. 
 

I’ll admit that in my younger years I was sort of a snob about playing with new people. I’ve been a low single digit to scratch golfer for years and I would get bothered by people playing poorly. That was a terrible attitude to have. As i’ve gotten a little older and wiser i’ve learned to get more enjoyment out of the game beyond just putting a score on the card. This has allowed me to enjoy the company of my playing partners far more than my younger self did. 
 

Not every round with random partners is a memorable event, but the roll of the dice of who you will be playing with is always interesting. Was paired with a minor league hockey player last year and we ended up hitting it off and played several rounds together. Today I was paired with 2 fellow lefties who were from outside of Quebec and in the area on a weeklong golf vacation. They spoke just a bit of english, and I speak no french, but it was as enjoyable of a round as you could ask for and they were just plain great people. 
 

There are an awful lot of really great individuals who play this game, and my change of situation has allowed me to meet more of them. Its great to have a tight-knit group of people to play with, and I’ll always have a desire to play with my buds. But being open to playing with new people has certainly been a positive for me and I’d encourage anyone to keep an open mind and not be bashful about trying it. 
 

All the best and hope you all make lots of birdies!

[SteelieD]

I’m in the same situation as you (minus ever being a low single digit 😂), play as a single quite often and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve had some very enjoyable rounds with random strangers. Occasionally I’ll get a stinker but it’s rare. 

[Springsteennut]

I’ve mostly had good experiences with random golfers. I’ve only had a couple where I couldn’t wait for the round to be over.

[Priceyd]

As a single most of the time, im a teacher so play alot on my breaks. Have met some really nice people over the years, learnt a lot of cool things about these people some I play with again and then a few we shake hands on 18 and go our seperate ways never to be seen again. 

 

At first I was always worried about not being good enough to play with random people, but over the years I have played with anyone from scratch to brand new golfers and realized how little they cared about my game. 

 

I missed all of last golf season due to achillies tear, cant wait to get back out this year, every opportunity to golf I will take, look forward to getting paired up with some hopefully great people 

[jimb6golf]

Much like you I typically play with a regular group, but unfortunately they are not as addicted to golf as I am.  So I play as a single and get matched up frequently.  At first it's a little unnerving but after many rounds I enjoy meeting different people.  It can get a little tiring if the others are really bad, but as long as they 'suck fast' I have no problem and typically enjoy a good laugh during the round.  The only problem with being a single is you're at the mercy of the club for a tee time most days.  But overall it's fine and once the round is underway you just play your game anyway.

[RayGorman]

I can get out more than my buddies can, so we might play once a month, maybe twice. The other times I am out there as a single. As mentioned, most times there is no problem and even some real interesting people. For example- 2 years ago I played with the guy who wrote the famous, or infamous, "Headless Body in Topless Bar" headline for the NY Post. One or 2 real ***holes out there over the years, but in 40 plus years that's a really small percentage. 

[Naptime]

I prefer not to share a cart with a stranger but otherwise am OK.  Would rather play with people that I know. 

[Hawkeye77]

I don’t play with strangers often, but the last few times I’ve had to join up because the course wants a full tee sheet either as a single or a twosome I’ve had good experiences. Have had a couple instances having a twosome join us because play was slow and it made more sense to play together. The wife and I when on an overseas trip a couple of years ago met a nice couple from France, also on holiday, that way and it sure made the last 8 holes much more enjoyable and they gave us lots of good insights on the area (a regular trip for them, not us, lol). Mostly I play with the same combinations of friends so doesn’t happen often these days that I’m paired with folks I don’t know. Maybe twice in all my years I’ve politely had an excuse to drop off at the turn when paired up with one or two people they were unbearable in attitude or behavior and that was my choice so wasn’t all that bothered about the green fee sacrifice - life way too short. 
 

99% positive in decades of golf. I love golf and can find the joy in just being out.  

[Is Golf Fun or Work]

95%+ of the time, it's been a pleasant experience.

[Greenie]

In my younger days I had a terrible time playing with strangers. I used to say if there was an idiot out there they got paired up with me or my group. I remember one time this guy missed his putt on 18. He picked up the flag stick and threw the flag stick like a spear. It stuck in the green. Afterwards he did the Michael Jackson moon walk with his spikes tearing up the greens. Management came out as we were packing up and told us to never come back. We told them it was the guy that you paired us up with. Of course he was long gone. We had to get the starter to confirm the guy was indeed paired up with us. In my first ten years of playing with strangers I would rate it a 40% good experience.

 

In my last ten years of playing with strangers I would rate my experiences to be around 95% good. I have a thing about being paired up. Most of my negative experiences have come when the course pairs me up. I like to talk to someone, maybe see them playing on the course. I like joining up with someone out on the course. I do it a lot. 

[TiScape]

95% of my rounds are with my son. So we get paired with ppl we’ve never met all the time. The vast majority of the time the people we meet and play w/are a joy and it is a wonderful experience. 

[Augster]

The best part of having strangers join your group, or getting paired up, is that all of my jokes that my regular playing partners have heard, over and over, the strangers haven’t. All of the jokes are fresh and hilarious again due to the new audience. 
 

 

 

[st1800e]

1 hour ago, Augster said:

All of the jokes are fresh and hilarious again due to the new audience

I still get laughs for , never up never in!  And then there’s… oh never mind.  

[naval2006]

Same here, OP.  I used to play with players my level when I was younger but since my golf is getting sour I started playing with people from different walks of life and levels of golf.  I think it's also a change of attitude as you grow older, you don't have the game to high level competition so you need to adjust.  

[nitram]

Some of the best times I've ever had (golf or otherwise) was after being paired with strangers.

 

In my experience, most guys who don't wanna play with others are embarrassed by their own game and/or have vanity caps. Just remember, (in most instances) the others in your foursome feel the same way about you as you do them. So make the best of it.

[vandyfan]

I play a ton as a single mostly because I have small kids so I can't make advance tee times and thus it is much easier to get out as a random single. I am always surprised at how many people casually mention they "hate playing with randoms." I find I would rather play with strangers than completely by myself 99% of the time (the 1% is like the 2 or 3 people I have played with who were truly not fun to play with at all). I think it is either colored by a few bad experiences people have had or if they just ALWAYS play in a regular group (aside from the camaraderie there is likely a competitive/gambling aspect there). 

 

All that said, I think this is largely just a part of golf. Especially at a public golf course. I have seen groups outright REFUSE to play with people when they are a twosome or threesome on a busy day at a golf course and it blows my mind. That's not really how golf works and it reeks of entitlement to me. If you are nervous about playing with strangers either go late in the day or practice more or just get over it. 

[Augster]

52 minutes ago, vandyfan said:

I play a ton as a single mostly because I have small kids so I can't make advance tee times and thus it is much easier to get out as a random single. I am always surprised at how many people casually mention they "hate playing with randoms." I find I would rather play with strangers than completely by myself 99% of the time (the 1% is like the 2 or 3 people I have played with who were truly not fun to play with at all). I think it is either colored by a few bad experiences people have had or if they just ALWAYS play in a regular group (aside from the camaraderie there is likely a competitive/gambling aspect there). 

 

All that said, I think this is largely just a part of golf. Especially at a public golf course. I have seen groups outright REFUSE to play with people when they are a twosome or threesome on a busy day at a golf course and it blows my mind. That's not really how golf works and it reeks of entitlement to me. If you are nervous about playing with strangers either go late in the day or practice more or just get over it. 

I’m absolutely with you on that. Unless the course is wide open and I’ll play in 2 hours if I play alone, I’d much rather get paired up. As a single on a semi-busy course you’re constantly waiting and then hurrying to play through. I’d much rather get paired up and play in a nice, even, 4 hour pace. 
 

 

[ALX]

Generally any randoms I have been paired with have been fine. My only real issue is when they take 5 mins to look for a ball, when they are already on their 4th shot and nowhere near the green. You're not breaking any records, let's get it moving. "Play bad fast"

 

Another thing I've found, is no one cares about you or your skill level haha Most people are focused on their game/shot. Of course it's nice to pay attention to what they are doing and all that, but at the end of the day I'm playing MY round, and don't care too much if you shoot a 115 or a 65.

[tsmithers]

I've played a lot of solo golf over the years because I can play early in the morning during the week. Only once did I have an issue with the guy I was paired up with. I've enjoyed almost every other pairings I've had. I do like that since covid most courses here do not force you into the same cart anymore, which is nice.

 

[2bGood]

On one of are large group golf trips we have a guy have to drop out last minute and a guy have to leave early so had a threesome or twosome for many rounds. Lots of the guys were bummed about this (not me), but as it worked out everyone's favourite rounds were when a stranger or two was added to the group. 

 

I love meeting new people and have had lots of fun and some good stories from playing with new people.

[bcjim]

Some of the most memorable characters I've encountered have been golf randoms. More than half my rounds have at least one and we still laugh about people from years ago. 

Had very few bad experiences with randoms and many enjoyable rounds.

[sui generis]

A memory from many years ago when I walked on at a muni somewhere around Adelaide, Australia, and was paired up with a couple of locals: After a few holes, one asked' "Whadda ya do for crust, mate?"

 

At the time I was an airline pilot based in the Persian Gulf. Thinking he was asking about where I bought bread, I replied that as my travels took me to London about once a month so I often brought bread home from there. 

 

I can still see the stunned look on his face. Then we all laughed as we sorted out both his question and my answer. 😉

[Wham49]

the better I have gotten the more I am open to playing with unknown people, I was always embarrassed or wanted to prove myself in the past, but now that I am confident in my game, I enjoy playing with people I do not know, it allows me to just play and talk to my partners, instesad of worrying that they are silently laughing at me or having a bad time becasue I am hitting the ball all over, 

 

whenever I see a single out and I do not have a full group I always offer them a spot, sometines to the anger of my friends but usually they are great people just out for a loop

Edited March 30, 2023 by Wham49

[PhilsFanDrew]

On 3/28/2023 at 12:47 PM, ALX said:

Generally any randoms I have been paired with have been fine. My only real issue is when they take 5 mins to look for a ball, when they are already on their 4th shot and nowhere near the green. You're not breaking any records, let's get it moving. "Play bad fast"

 

Another thing I've found, is no one cares about you or your skill level haha Most people are focused on their game/shot. Of course it's nice to pay attention to what they are doing and all that, but at the end of the day I'm playing MY round, and don't care too much if you shoot a 115 or a 65.

 

Exactly.  Just play ready golf and be reasonable.  I've played 3 1/2 hour rounds with guys that shot well over 100 and played 5 hour rounds with guys that are likely low single digit.  Give me the 100+ and 3 1/2 hours any day.  I don't care what other people I don't know shoot.  

[Bonneville85308]

There are probably 4 people I'm not related to who I can count on to help me in a non-golf emergency with no questions asked;. all 4 of those are people I met randomly while playing golf and I consider to be my best friends.

 

I've probably played in excess of 1,000 rounds in my life where I was paired with one or more total strangers. I'd say there are probably less than 10 of those people that I would refuse to play with again, and only maybe 4 of those were so egregious that I remember them and their behavior in specific detail.

 

I have no fear whatsoever when it comes to playing with randoms, in fact I prefer it if the course is packed and there is nowhere to go. Of course, if it's empty, I'd rather just go solo.

 

The biggest opposition to being paired with a single that I've noticed seems to come from the age 25-45 "bro date golf" crowd. I've had a few occasions where they told the starter they didn't want to get paired with anyone, and the answer was usually "too bad, our tee sheet is full this morning, next time pay for all 4 spots." I sometimes think they just don't want witnesses to their d-bag behavior, off color/racist comments, etc.

Edited April 3, 2023 by Bonneville85308

[Augster]

12 hours ago, Bonneville85308 said:

There are probably 4 people I'm not related to who I can count on to help me in a non-golf emergency with no questions asked;. all 4 of those are people I met randomly while playing golf and I consider to be my best friends.

 

I've probably played in excess of 1,000 rounds in my life where I was paired with one or more total strangers. I'd say there are probably less than 10 of those people that I would refuse to play with again, and only maybe 4 of those were so egregious that I remember them and their behavior in specific detail.

 

I have no fear whatsoever when it comes to playing with randoms, in fact I prefer it if the course is packed and there is nowhere to go. Of course, if it's empty, I'd rather just go sol.

 

The biggest opposition to being paired with a single that I've noticed seems to come from the age 25-45 "bro date golf" crowd. I've had a few occasions where they told the starter they didn't want to get paired with anyone, and the answer was usually "too bad, our tee sheet is full this morning, next time pay for all 4 spots." I sometimes think they just don't want witnesses to their d-bag behavior, off color/racist comments, etc.

I can only give you one like, but I agree 100%.  Especially the “bro date golf”. 
 

2020, when the courses reopened, and were packed from sunup to sundown, I remember one “bro date” was incredulous when they got paired up with me and my son. Literally every group that summer was a foursome.
 

[JoeyGnard]

On 3/28/2023 at 1:15 PM, tsmithers said:

I've played a lot of solo golf over the years because I can play early in the morning during the week. Only once did I have an issue with the guy I was paired up with. I've enjoyed almost every other pairings I've had. I do like that since covid most courses here do not force you into the same cart anymore, which is nice.

 

I have a funny instance where in winter vacation in Florida a couple years ago the course wanted me and another guy to share the same cart. The man asked me if I was vaccinated and boosted and if not he wouldn’t ride with me.  I politely told him that my medical records are none of his business and paid the $20 to ride in separate carts. I chuckle every time I think about it. They turned out to be an OK group to play with like the majority of people I get paired up with in South FL. 

[Bonneville85308]

1 hour ago, JoeyGnard said:

I have a funny instance where in winter vacation in Florida a couple years ago the course wanted me and another guy to share the same cart. The man asked me if I was vaccinated and boosted and if not he wouldn’t ride with me.  I politely told him that my medical records are none of his business and paid the $20 to ride in separate carts. I chuckle every time I think about it. They turned out to be an OK group to play with like the majority of people I get paired up with in South FL. 

 

I've had the flip side occur, mid 2020 when I was paired with a guy who was constantly coughing, I refused to share a cart with him. This course wasn't doing solo carts for singles (they claimed to not have enough),  so I told the staff to move me to a different group or give me my money back. They moved me to a later group. Maybe I was being too cautious and overreacting, but when covid first hit, there was a lot of confusion and misinformation and I wasn't taking any chances being inches away from that guy for 4 hours.

[JoeyGnard]

21 minutes ago, Bonneville85308 said:

 

I've had the flip side occur, mid 2020 when I was paired with a guy who was constantly coughing, I refused to share a cart with him. This course wasn't doing solo carts for singles (they claimed to not have enough),  so I told the staff to move me to a different group or give me my money back. They moved me to a later group. Maybe I was being too cautious and overreacting, but when covid first hit, there was a lot of confusion and misinformation and I wasn't taking any chances being inches away from that guy for 4 hours.

COVID or not I wouldn’t want to be that close to a stranger coughing!  

[vandyfan]

1 minute ago, JoeyGnard said:

COVID or not I wouldn’t want to be that close to a stranger coughing!  

 

As someone who has two kids under 4 that go to "school" every day I can't imagine most strangers have anything worse than the germs my kids are assaulting me with on a daily basis. But I also walk 99% of the time...