Most ridiculous thing heard on the range

[BenSeattle]

As a low-handicapper with a (forgive me) Ernie Els-type swing, I get the occasional unsolicited compliment along with the question from nearby hackers: "Hey, do you know what I'm doing wrong?" I usually try to help but let's face it, giving even a 2-minute "tip" is NOT going to help a clueless chop Build A Fundamentally-Sound Repeating Golf Swing. But I don't mind so I always offer a suggestion or two.

Not long ago I was quietly working my way through my bucket when a pair of "cougars" stepped into the two stalls directly in front of me. Attractive women, early 40's, would-have-been-[u]really[/u]-attractive-ten-years-ago types. From the corner of my eye, I notice a couple of awkward swings from the blond gal nearest me, but my focus is on my game, thank you.

Anyway, I'm finishing up with a few solid, straight drives when I hear Blondie say in my direction, "Wow, nice shot. Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong?" I had noticed that she was using pretty much an "arms-only" half swing with no shoulder turn so I proceed to demonstrate a full swing with a nice shoulder turn. "See if that helps," is my simple advice. She looks down, then looks at me and says, "Well, I'll try but that's going to be tough with these THINGS in the way," as I am now compelled to notice the deep cleavage and stretched-out sweater. All I can do is mumble something like, "Well, it takes a little practice, I guess."

Nervously, I now concentrate on banging out the last few balls in my bucket, all the while a number of thoughts are racing through my head: "Was that an opening, or what?" "Should I offer to extend the lesson?" and -- most importantly -- "Ben, you're a happily married man and you're about to go home to dinner with your beautiful wife."

Which is exactly what I did.

[PapaJohick]

[quote name='BenSeattle' timestamp='1391554269' post='8598959']
As a low-handicapper with a (forgive me) Ernie Els-type swing, I get the occasional unsolicited compliment along with the question from nearby hackers: "Hey, do you know what I'm doing wrong?" I usually try to help but let's face it, giving even a 2-minute "tip" is NOT going to help a clueless chop Build A Fundamentally-Sound Repeating Golf Swing. But I don't mind so I always offer a suggestion or two.

Not long ago I was quietly working my way through my bucket when a pair of "cougars" stepped into the two stalls directly in front of me. Attractive women, early 40's, would-have-been-[u]really[/u]-attractive-ten-years-ago types. From the corner of my eye, I notice a couple of awkward swings from the blond gal nearest me, but my focus is on my game, thank you.

Anyway, I'm finishing up with a few solid, straight drives when I hear Blondie say in my direction, "Wow, nice shot. Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong?" I had noticed that she was using pretty much an "arms-only" half swing with no shoulder turn so I proceed to demonstrate a full swing with a nice shoulder turn. "See if that helps," is my simple advice. She looks down, then looks at me and says, "Well, I'll try but that's going to be tough with these THINGS in the way," as I am now compelled to notice the deep cleavage and stretched-out sweater. All I can do is mumble something like, "Well, it takes a little practice, I guess."

Nervously, I now concentrate on banging out the last few balls in my bucket, all the while a number of thoughts are racing through my head: "Was that an opening, or what?" "Should I offer to extend the lesson?" and -- most importantly -- "Ben, you're a happily married man and you're about to go home to dinner with your beautiful wife."

Which is exactly what I did.
[/quote]

hahaha wtf? i think you posted this in the wrong thread. this belongs in lines you knew you were on GolfWRX hahahahaha

[bwrichmond]

[quote name='BenSeattle' timestamp='1391554269' post='8598959']
As a low-handicapper with a (forgive me) Ernie Els-type swing, I get the occasional unsolicited compliment along with the question from nearby hackers: "Hey, do you know what I'm doing wrong?" I usually try to help but let's face it, giving even a 2-minute "tip" is NOT going to help a clueless chop Build A Fundamentally-Sound Repeating Golf Swing. But I don't mind so I always offer a suggestion or two.

Not long ago I was quietly working my way through my bucket when a pair of "cougars" stepped into the two stalls directly in front of me. Attractive women, early 40's, would-have-been-[u]really[/u]-attractive-ten-years-ago types. From the corner of my eye, I notice a couple of awkward swings from the blond gal nearest me, but my focus is on my game, thank you.

Anyway, I'm finishing up with a few solid, straight drives when I hear Blondie say in my direction, "Wow, nice shot. Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong?" I had noticed that she was using pretty much an "arms-only" half swing with no shoulder turn so I proceed to demonstrate a full swing with a nice shoulder turn. "See if that helps," is my simple advice. She looks down, then looks at me and says, "Well, I'll try but that's going to be tough with these THINGS in the way," as I am now compelled to notice the deep cleavage and stretched-out sweater. All I can do is mumble something like, "Well, it takes a little practice, I guess."

Nervously, I now concentrate on banging out the last few balls in my bucket, all the while a number of thoughts are racing through my head: "Was that an opening, or what?" "Should I offer to extend the lesson?" and -- most importantly -- "Ben, you're a happily married man and you're about to go home to dinner with your beautiful wife."

Which is exactly what I did.
[/quote]

Your wife's not on here... You can tell us what really happened...

[thug the bunny]

[quote name='BenSeattle' timestamp='1391554269' post='8598959']
Anyway, I'm finishing up with a few solid, straight drives when I hear Blondie say in my direction, "Wow, nice shot. Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong?" I had noticed that she was using pretty much an "arms-only" half swing with no shoulder turn so I proceed to demonstrate a full swing with a nice shoulder turn. "See if that helps," is my simple advice. She looks down, then looks at me and says, "Well, I'll try but that's going to be tough with these THINGS in the way," as I am now compelled to notice the deep cleavage and stretched-out sweater. All I can do is mumble something like, "Well, it takes a little practice, I guess."

Nervously, I now concentrate on banging out the last few balls in my bucket, all the while a number of thoughts are racing through my head: "Was that an opening, or what?" "Should I offer to extend the lesson?" and -- most importantly -- "Ben, you're a happily married man and you're about to go home to dinner with your beautiful wife."

[/quote]

You know how to keep attractive women from hitting on you? Become single again. They will avoid you like the plague.

[Hateto3Putt]

[quote name='BenSeattle' timestamp='1391554269' post='8598959']
Nervously, I now concentrate on banging out the last few balls in my bucket,
[/quote]

'nuff said.

[Ranchobob]

[quote name='dlygrisse' timestamp='1379614790' post='7878399']
"Hey, you know what is wrong with your swing?"

This being said to me by a guy who had obviously just got done reading the latest edition of Golf Digest, and whom I had just witnessed topping 5 shots in a row. I hate and unsolicited advice, especially if you are not the pro at that particular course. I am quite confident I could have given the guy 10 shots a side and still taken money from him..

I quietly picked up my belongings and immediately moved to the other end of the range without saying a word to him. I think he got the point.
[/quote]

Absolutely. I was at the range a while ago and just really struggling badly. Couldn't hit a decent shot to save my life.

Almost done with the bucket--no idea why; 30 balls in I should have just walked away instead of grooving frustration--and a guy comes up and asks, "Can I give you a tip?"

"No thanks," was my reply.

"No? Seriously? No?"

He was really bent that I didn't want to hear a tip from some guy I didn't know from Adam.

[goobers80]

[color=#800080]He at least asked. I gets all sorts of comments ands most times i am doings drills ands exaggerating. Sometimes it helps to take a break to nots let it seep in the brains.[/color]

[jcorna01]

I try to stay out of this thread (along with the "lines that you knew you were on wrx") until i'm having a bad day. It's like binge watching on Netflix. They never fail to make me laugh and this last batch of posts is particularly good. Hillbillies spiking beers? An Ernie sighting? Haha I love this site. Thank you WRX!

[Mr 61]

[quote name='sompin2do' timestamp='1379598829' post='7876897']
A dad forcing his 5 year old son to learn a pre-shot routine. Have seen him and his wife forcing the kid to hit balls almost daily for well over a year now. Most of their sessions turn to negotiations where Jr is trying to get done sooner so he can get off the range.
[/quote]

I agree. Nothing worse than some chop giving his 5 year old some complicated swing advice. Especially when the kid strikes it better than the father!

[Mr 61]

[quote name='Hstead' timestamp='1379651306' post='7881583']
"Hey Big Guy, is that a 90 or 100 compression ball you are hitting?" to which Elkington replies "110 I think" and the guy starts boosting to his buddy saying, "see I told you, I could tell by the sound it was more than a 90 compression."
[/quote]

Can't help but to throw a Rounders quote in here: "I didn't see it. I heard it. The snapping sound gave it away."

[Mr 61]

I was at Golfsmith hitting some new drivers and a guy starting hitting balls in the stall next to me. He was hitting really steep on the ball and just popping them up --I'm sure he made a few idiot marks. He would still watch the launch monitor screen to see how far the ball was going. He flags down a salesman and has the following conversation:

Chop: Does Ping make this driver in a 5 or 6 degree?

Salesman: Why would you want such a low lofted driver?

Chop: Well, I'm hitting this way too high. I think I'm spinning it too much.

Salesman: Yes you are. Let's make a few practice swings without digging the driver into the mat.


I'm glad the salesman gave this chop a little crap.

[Mitchell]

Guy @ range "helping" his girlfriend learn the game- "honey, if you want to keep shot lower in wind, move ball UP in stance, let me show you.." Guy hits ball somewhere around equator with leading edge of wedge, resulting in topped shot. G/f responds completely seriously, "don't think can hit it THAT low, babe- you are better @ this than me".

[Canesfan101]

Keep your head down

[BenSeattle]

This is slightly off-topic but on occasion, I actually [u]do[/u] offer unsolicited advice to golfers at the range or the short game area. Here's how I do it. (Oh, and the [u]reason[/u] I do it is that all of these golfers have no clue and are desperate for help.)

First, they have to see that I'm a good player with a solid swing. My approach only happens after I can sense their frustration and I'm sure that they're in dire need of just one idea that will make a difference.

Me: "Excuse me, but are you like me? Do just HATE free advice?"
Hacker: "Oh no, I've been watching you. I need all the help I can get."

There's more, but you get the idea. And don't worry: usually I just mind my own damn business and offer help only to the most hapless, helpless beginners.

They other say I saw a father giving his FOUR-YEAR-OLD lessons about footwork and weight shift. All the while junior was trying to hit it with a [u]cross-handed grip[/u]. Yep: I just gritted my teeth and finished my bucket without saying a word.

[Medic]

So my wife comes home from the range - all upset over something. I ask her waz up; seems she saw a really good golfer in a nearby stall and decided to ask him for a little advice. "All he could do was stare at my chest. I felt so cheap...."

[BIG STU]

[quote name='Forged4ever1' timestamp='1390872315' post='8547081']
"Is that a real Miura?"

"Would you mind if I just hit one ball?"


Fairways & Greens My Friends
[/quote]ROTFLMAO good one! reminds me of my days of owning and driving dirt track race cars. These deadbeats asking is that your car? who drives it? well you ought to let me drive it. I had my decal man make a sign for the dash that said...
Don't ask to drive my car and I won't ask to ***** your wife or daughter!!! (self edited to keep from getting kicked off of here and besides this is a PG forum aint it?)

[BIG STU]

[quote name='BenSeattle' timestamp='1391554269' post='8598959']
As a low-handicapper with a (forgive me) Ernie Els-type swing, I get the occasional unsolicited compliment along with the question from nearby hackers: "Hey, do you know what I'm doing wrong?" I usually try to help but let's face it, giving even a 2-minute "tip" is NOT going to help a clueless chop Build A Fundamentally-Sound Repeating Golf Swing. But I don't mind so I always offer a suggestion or two.

Not long ago I was quietly working my way through my bucket when a pair of "cougars" stepped into the two stalls directly in front of me. Attractive women, early 40's, would-have-been-[u]really[/u]-attractive-ten-years-ago types. From the corner of my eye, I notice a couple of awkward swings from the blond gal nearest me, but my focus is on my game, thank you.

Anyway, I'm finishing up with a few solid, straight drives when I hear Blondie say in my direction, "Wow, nice shot. Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong?" I had noticed that she was using pretty much an "arms-only" half swing with no shoulder turn so I proceed to demonstrate a full swing with a nice shoulder turn. "See if that helps," is my simple advice. She looks down, then looks at me and says, "Well, I'll try but that's going to be tough with these THINGS in the way," as I am now compelled to notice the deep cleavage and stretched-out sweater. All I can do is mumble something like, "Well, it takes a little practice, I guess."

Nervously, I now concentrate on banging out the last few balls in my bucket, all the while a number of thoughts are racing through my head: "Was that an opening, or what?" "Should I offer to extend the lesson?" and -- most importantly -- "Ben, you're a happily married man and you're about to go home to dinner with your beautiful wife."

Which is exactly what I did.
[/quote]Seriously wise choice you did the right thing I would have done the same as you did

[Flop Shot Master]

I once seen a 40-50 or so skinny man, trucker hat with a beer in his hand, and probably wasnt the only one he had that day (im going to gamble and say i guarantee it wasnt) and he was with a 6 or 7 year old chinese/asain girl. Hoping it was his daughter. It was almost like a seen from "bad grandpa" except it was real and i felt pretty bad.

[banno01991]

My son is two and my wife is expecting our second child. He loves Golf and the driving range. We go to the range twice a week to give his mom some peace. I leave him to his own devices no swing advice. I want him to like the game and feel that he is under no pressure to play it. Yesterday he was hitting balls to his heart content when a guy stopped to see him hit the ball. Needless to say Alex topped the ball. The guy then proceeds to give him a debrief on why he topped it and then returned to his bay. We left soon after and had to walk past man. When we reached him he was hitting weak slices with his driver and looked pleased with himself. My son stopped and then said "hit the ball hard it will go to the flag" to the guy. I found it hard not to smirk.

[MaydayGSXR]

[quote name='banno01991' timestamp='1391920011' post='8627307']
My son is two and my wife is expecting our second child. He loves Golf and the driving range. We go to the range twice a week to give his mom some peace. I leave him to his own devices no swing advice. I want him to like the game and feel that he is under no pressure to play it. Yesterday he was hitting balls to his heart content when a guy stopped to see him hit the ball. Needless to say Alex topped the ball. The guy then proceeds to give him a debrief on why he topped it and then returned to his bay. We left soon after and had to walk past man. When we reached him he was hitting weak slices with his driver and looked pleased with himself. My son stopped and then said "hit the ball hard it will go to the flag" to the guy. I found it hard not to smirk.
[/quote]

Everyone always ends stories right when it gets to the good part! haha, what was his response to your kid's comment? And I find it hard a guy would really try to give "serious" swing advice to a two year old.

[Arsey51]

I heard this today at Leonard's Golf on the Range in Fort Worth-"You see that place over there? That's The Oven. THE OVEN, Dude! Tiger's there just about every week. I've seen him a bunch of times."

I've been a member there for the past 6 years. I'm usually there at least 2-4 times a week. I have yet to see TW or any of the other Nike sponsored players even once.

[BenR]

[quote name='Arsey51' timestamp='1391931538' post='8627977']
I heard this today at Leonard's Golf on the Range in Fort Worth-"You see that place over there? That's The Oven. THE OVEN, Dude! Tiger's there just about every week. I've seen him a bunch of times."

I've been a member there for the past 6 years. I'm usually there at least 2-4 times a week. I have yet to see TW or any of the other Nike sponsored players even once.
[/quote]

My folks live in Aledo and I've told them to keep an eye out for Tiger or Rory at that place.

[Jon H]

"A big guy like you should be hitting it 340".

[Neo1]

"grip looks good...posture looks good...setup looks good...now just kill it!!!"

forgot to menton this was a father telling his son this, kid looked to be 10-12 years old...lol

[shakey]

I was completely disappointed today. Spent an hour at the range and didn't hear anything worth adding. Ugh!

[Crossle77]

Immediately thought of this thread at my last range session...

Around lunchtime so two guys hit balls in the stalls behind me, one tells his friend he hits the far nets (around 260/270 carry). Said "watch this..", balls goes about 200 and he brags to his friend it hit the net on the fly. He then proceeds to give advice to his novice friend and instructs him to hit down on the ball, "try hitting the mat about an inch behind the ball so it goes up".

See what wrx does for you, gets into your head every time you go out....too funny.

[MaydayGSXR]

[quote name='shakey' timestamp='1392004456' post='8633995']
I was completely disappointed today. Spent an hour at the range and didn't hear anything worth adding. Ugh!
[/quote]
[quote name='Crossle77' timestamp='1392018522' post='8634933']

See what wrx does for you, gets into your head every time you go out....too funny.
[/quote]

Haha, yeah, I have to give partial blame to this forum for my lack of concentration on my own game while at the range.. I'm always waiting for that legendary ridiculous person or comment to arrive.

[Wetty]

These are all the reasons I go to the range and put headphones in and listen to music

[ben w]

[quote name='MaydayGSXR' timestamp='1391930409' post='8627953']And I find it hard a guy would really try to give "serious" swing advice to a two year old.
[/quote]

Maybe it was this guy:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/1603

[SaKilroy]

I got to de-tune some days I get to the range and I just feel too flexible, I know Adam Scott has this problem also