Had a baby, no more golf

[jeff1727]

I have three kids (8,6,and 4). I joined a golf league 4 years ago so I am guaranteed at least 9 holes a week for 20 weeks. We tee of early and I often go out and play the other nine once the last group has teed off. I also play 1-2-3 times a month on the weekend with another friend who has kids the same ages as mine. We go out super early and try to be home by 11:00. I have found that as long as it does not eat up the whole day, the wife is cool with it.

I own my own business and work from home so during the week I make sure all of the laundry is done, house is clean and the fridge is full by the weekend. The less my wife has to do on the weekend, allows more time for me to go golfing.

 

[TServos]

I found that I could justify practicing for an hour every day when the weather cooperates.

I hardly play a full round anymore...maybe once a month..9 holes of twilight two or three times a month..but I practice a lot more so my game got better.

[SammyShaf]

Make sure you play during first year and insist your wife gets some time to herself. Send her off for a pedicure. You have to have some time to clear your head and recharge, otherwise you are not going to be present. I am lucky that I can take my 8 year old daughter out for 9 holes. When her little brother gets old enough we will add him to the mix

 

[Medson]

This. There is hope ...

[llewol007]

I have 4 kids and still golf. Friends have 1 kid and they think it’s the end of the world. It’s called open lines of communication with your wife and like others have said, don’t spend the rest of the day throwing back beers after the round and take your family out for an activity. If your kids know they are going somewhere, they are more inclined to your golfing in the morning. I typically get back by noon and it’s about the right time to go for lunch and out to the park.

[golfer07840]

Noticing a trend. Those with little kids who do golf, they all golf early in the morning.

 

When my kids were little, I worked during the week and then wife worked during the weekends, starting in the morning. Needless to say that was a long several years until all 3 were in school and we were both working weekdays.

 

Now 2 of the 3 are in college with the 3rd one going this upcoming fall. Time flies.

[third-times-a-charm]

Not my wife and I...I don't wake up until 9 on weekends and usually dont play until 1-2PM. We will either take our kid with us or she'll watch the kid at home or take the kid on errands at the store.

[iNeedMoreGolf]

Wow are you me? This is my life. Except i still get argued with no matter what i do.

[golfer07840]

Well aren't you special?

[Ferguson]

Always wonder the same thing when I read these threads. Do parents ever have a heart-to-heart conversation before the kids come along?

I was fortunate that my wife was/is a golfer and we took the time to talk about what to expect from each other after our kids came along. We talked a lot before having kids. My golf game never skipped a beat. She knew it was important to me, but it was more important to her that I knew how to ask for what I needed. We have always been brutally wide open with each other. Our kids are the absolute center of our lives, but our relationship will be there for a lifetime. After the kids got older, I found myself thinking about how she took care of the boys so I could play golf. I now find myself compelled to go out of the way for her. Every single marathon or 10k or half she runs, I always am on or near the finish line to see her. In November, I drove across town from a meeting to be at at mile marker 25. She smiled at me and kept on running.

 

Remember guys, it's what you do "unexpectedly" that counts.

 

[third-times-a-charm]

Apparently I am, because no one else in this thread can figure out how to navigate having responsibilities and recreation at the same time in their lives.

[golftherapy02]

Me and my wife are planning for a few years. I hope I can get a Sunday bag and push a baby stroller at the same time lol

[NoOBz]

I feel spoiled. Mid 30s, no kids, gets play, and golfs at least 2x a week. I played so far wed, thur, fri and tomorrow. I've booked sunday but told my buddies i might want to rest. But have baby fever so fingers cross that I'm able to juggle both when the time comes.

[rwc356]

Just to add another twist. For those of us becoming grandparents in the near future (couple of weeks likely), I'm looking at balancing golf and a baby for the second time around. I've already negotiated a day off for my weekly golf league outing and cleared out some bags of clubs so the stroller, crib, etc have room to share my study. I figure during our daily day-care activities, I can read our granddaughter Harvey Penick's, Little Red Book and maybe a few other appropriate tomes. Never too early to get her started in the right direction!

[KevinKegman]

Congratulations, I know what you mean just really got back into golf and my kids are now 12 and 9.

[red5standingby]

Kid number two is arriving in May. My plan was to get out weekly this spring, spend the hot summer months inside and maybe get a few rounds in this fall. Coronavirus put an end to that and I got 3 rounds in.

[superapex]

Congrats too.

[deadsolid...shank]

I hear you. Then you end up with even more “littles” (my wife’s term for the grands!) then you had kids

Ive lost my annual 12 man Mesquite trip since #2’s birthday falls at that time. My annual ProAm in August coincides with #3’s, and #1’s birthday (the little guy in my photo) is the end of July when there was always a tournament of some kind. Plus we uprooted ourselves and moved to be nearer, so I lost my regular courses and groups. Number 4 is due mid September and #5 in December. We watch #2 at least one day of every weekend, so one day is always gone.

The Mrs is, and always has been, all about the kids. And now the grandkids. It’s enough for her. She has never understood that it’s not that way for everyone, so the golf arguments over the last 34 years have been frequent. I was lucky in that I ran a private family business so could go play during work hours to get most of my rounds in. Now with a real job I’ve gone from around 170 Posted rounds annually to I think about 15 last year. I hit balls or play two or three hole loops far more now than anything else.

plus, she got a new puppy during the quarantine (couldn’t see the grandkids), he’s worse than a new baby.

[weil2020]

You Baby is so cute

[dcfas]

Congrats!! Took me years to get back. My son is now 11 and I’m just getting back to where I once was. The best thing is we are now playing golf together.

[NorthernHills]

Congrats! We welcomed our daughter 6 months ago, it's amazing and exhausting at the same time. Golf wise the first month/6 weeks are a write-off as it's an absolute whirlwind. After that though, we've found a pretty good balance. . The days (at least for me) of golf being an all day affair are over for the time being. Now I've got into a nice rhythm where once/twice a week I'll get out for 9 holes after or before work. I live 10 minutes from my club and playing solo when it's quiet I can be door to door in 2 hours. Trade off is that Saturday mornings are my wife's to do what she wants with whilst I hang out with baby. Even had a golf weekend with my friends booked in at the end of the month until lockdown ended that!

[GooseHook]

Bringing this thread back to life cause I've been thinking about it a lot. My son is now almost 8 weeks old, born on Masters weekend. I think part of my own baby blues (aside from the severe sleep deprivation) is not being able to get out and even hit balls or walk 9. We don't have a ton of family help in our area and I'm back to work from my leave, and of course the baby needs to feed every couple of hours and screams bloody murder unless he's being held (current phase). 

 

I was joking with my wife that we should have planned conception for a winter delivery so I wouldn't miss a prime golf season, but I really hope to get out some time soon to enjoy the game I love so much. 

[MtlJeff]

1 hour ago, GooseHook said:

Bringing this thread back to life cause I've been thinking about it a lot. My son is now almost 8 weeks old, born on Masters weekend. I think part of my own baby blues (aside from the severe sleep deprivation) is not being able to get out and even hit balls or walk 9. We don't have a ton of family help in our area and I'm back to work from my leave, and of course the baby needs to feed every couple of hours and screams bloody murder unless he's being held (current phase). 

 

I was joking with my wife that we should have planned conception for a winter delivery so I wouldn't miss a prime golf season, but I really hope to get out some time soon to enjoy the game I love so much. 

 

One baby is fine if you guys support each other. I played 50 rounds the year my daughter was born and she was born in April also. I played really early (like 7am) and got home before lunch so my wife could nap. By the time you get to 5-6 months they can start making it through the whole night which gets a lot easier

 

Some things are easier when they are small but you don't appreciate it because it's so new. Wait until they are 3-4 and start running around LOL

[JKJKJK]

Grats but I still play bi-weekly 😃

 

However, I got to do a lot of vacuuming/dishes before the weekend comes.

[jmudo]

1 hour ago, GooseHook said:

Bringing this thread back to life cause I've been thinking about it a lot. My son is now almost 8 weeks old, born on Masters weekend. I think part of my own baby blues (aside from the severe sleep deprivation) is not being able to get out and even hit balls or walk 9. We don't have a ton of family help in our area and I'm back to work from my leave, and of course the baby needs to feed every couple of hours and screams bloody murder unless he's being held (current phase). 

 

I was joking with my wife that we should have planned conception for a winter delivery so I wouldn't miss a prime golf season, but I really hope to get out some time soon to enjoy the game I love so much. 

I feel for ya. It’s tough to not have that release during such a stressful time. Especially if the little one isn’t cooperating. Personally I scratched the itch by hoing clubs until I could play more. You can get down some deep rabbit holes at 3 am in the rocker. 
 

If you need a place to vent some more feel free. Remember the nights are long but the years are short. Cliche but still hits home. My 5 year old thinks he beat me after nine holes last weekend and that I owe him $550 for a lego coliseum. So you have stuff like that to look forward to. 

[Cousin]

4 hours ago, GooseHook said:

Bringing this thread back to life cause I've been thinking about it a lot. My son is now almost 8 weeks old, born on Masters weekend. I think part of my own baby blues (aside from the severe sleep deprivation) is not being able to get out and even hit balls or walk 9. We don't have a ton of family help in our area and I'm back to work from my leave, and of course the baby needs to feed every couple of hours and screams bloody murder unless he's being held (current phase). 

 

I was joking with my wife that we should have planned conception for a winter delivery so I wouldn't miss a prime golf season, but I really hope to get out some time soon to enjoy the game I love so much. 

You are in the thick of it.  It gets better.  Then it gets harder LOL.  Mine are 3 yrs and 18 months.  Golf has been rare.  I go to the range a lot to get my golf in, and honestly just need to take off work on a weekday to play when the kids are at daycare.  Once in a blue moon my wife will tell me I can go play with friends on a weekend, usually when their significant other can help watch the kids while we play.

 

There is a sweet spot when they start to sleep through the night and before they are fully mobile, probably 6 months to a year.  If you can get away to golf, that's when to do it.  It should be easier on your wife if she is watching the baby alone.  And of course reciprocate telling her to take some time away too.  Once they are mobile, it gets harder again because you have to watch them like a hawk.

 

Hang in there!

[Wham49]

get your kid into golf ASAP then you can play more golf than before, under the monitor of spending time with the kids, no better excuse to play than that

[VNutz]

5 hours ago, GooseHook said:

Bringing this thread back to life cause I've been thinking about it a lot. My son is now almost 8 weeks old, born on Masters weekend. I think part of my own baby blues (aside from the severe sleep deprivation) is not being able to get out and even hit balls or walk 9. We don't have a ton of family help in our area and I'm back to work from my leave, and of course the baby needs to feed every couple of hours and screams bloody murder unless he's being held (current phase). 

 

I was joking with my wife that we should have planned conception for a winter delivery so I wouldn't miss a prime golf season, but I really hope to get out some time soon to enjoy the game I love so much. 

Hang in there, it will get better. Once they start recognizing and acknowledging you and not interacting simply because they need something of you everything changes. But definitely do everything you can to soak up these moments now as there's little like it. Once they start moving it's a whole new ballgame and there's no going back.

 

Then you get to little league age and you play 2 rounds by the start of June. Not that I'm bitter...

[GooseHook]

Thanks guys, I appreciate the kind words and know from other new dads that this phase is a slog. I'm definitely looking forward to the start of daycare so I can use some vacation time, plus my club needs to stop having 800,000 events every weekend so I can get a tee time.  Venting is about the only thing I can do...it just feels a little bit powerless and I get bitter about seeing all the tee time emails from groups I'm in. 

 

Paying club dues with no range/course time is like getting shanked with a toothbrush. 

[JDennis]

On 1/8/2020 at 10:59 AM, Mych said:

I tried that and got shut down, wife was scared of stray golf balls flying around. But I did take my daughters with some beach toys and let them play in the sand trap while I'd work short game. Only worked if nobody was doing bunker practice, but it gave me an hour of golf without having to burden the wife more than normal.

 

Advice for the new dad (Congrats btw!)... fall in love with the after-work 9-holer. 4-5 hours on a weekend is a lot, but coming home at 7 instead of 5 once a week generally isn't as much of a battle. From time to time I'd order food (pizza, chinese) delivered to the house before going to play, just to show appreciation for the time out of the house.

 

 

This is my truth. Our golf course wants kids about 4 or so and older. Luckily I live across the street from one and my office is a mile from another. The quick 9 is the key. I can't get 18 in yet, but 9 after work is magical. OR (and) playing 9 early on Sunday and letting them sleep in. My wife gets up about 10:30 on Sunday and my son won't get up till she is. So she is fine with me sneaking out at 9 when the course opens and playing 9. Usually home before 11:30.