Need advice on a challenging pairing tomorrow

Hey fam,



I’m in a tournament tomorrow, and my pairing all day he’s going to be with a guy who loves to trash talk. In our tradition where I’m from, there’s just not a lot of that, and the last time we played together it was unexpected and it, while within the rules, was just annoying as **** and was unexpected so I got into my head.



Well, here we go again and tomorrow is a somewhat big day, and my pairing is again with this guy who is going to be jawing the entire time. Do any of you out there have any advice on how to mentally prepare before around for this type of eventuality? I’m pretty levelheaded and don’t get hot, but it was so unexpected last time that it threw me off.



Looking for any advice on how to deal with a more vocal adversary.
The Grint App - CigarNate

Current Setup for 2019:

Ping Rapture - TFC 109 stiff
Titleist 917f2
Titleist 909H 19*
Titleist 909H 21*
Wilson FG Tour F5 5-G DG S300
Callaway V-forged 54*
Callaway V-forged 58*
Odyssey O-Works #7s
«13

Comments

  • GoGoErkyGoGoErky Members Posts: 1,141 ✭✭
    Let it go in one ear and out the other. It’s just white noise.
  • jvincentjvincent Members Posts: 537 ✭✭
    Freeze him out. Play like you are out as a single.



    Walk on the other side of the fairway from him, stay behind him going to tee boxes, don't acknowledge anything he says. He'll either get the message or get pissed off and his game will suffer.
  • StogiesNotBogeysStogiesNotBogeys Members Posts: 267 ✭✭
    Thanks for the feedback Guys… The only problem that I foresee with this is that we will be paired up in the same cart the entire day. The guy really feeds off of it. We work together, and he’s a great dude, but you put them on the golf course and he has stage five little man syndrome. 😂 Unfortunately, I don’t see him getting pissed off that I don’t respond. It might actually feed it 🤨



    I’m from a different part of the country than the rest of these guys, so we kind of have different social rules for the game, so it takes getting used to.
    The Grint App - CigarNate

    Current Setup for 2019:

    Ping Rapture - TFC 109 stiff
    Titleist 917f2
    Titleist 909H 19*
    Titleist 909H 21*
    Wilson FG Tour F5 5-G DG S300
    Callaway V-forged 54*
    Callaway V-forged 58*
    Odyssey O-Works #7s
  • RohlioRohlio Members Posts: 2,324 ✭✭
    edited Jan 9, 2019 9:43pm #5


    I’m pretty levelheaded and don’t get hot, but it was so unexpected last time that it threw me off.



    Looking for any advice on how to deal with a more vocal adversary.




    Your advice is right there... Last time it caught you off guard so you reacted poorly internally. This time you have the advantage of foreknowledge.



    You know it is coming so prepare yourself now.



    If it were me I would show up all business. I generally like to talk and joke with others, but I don't like trashtalk from someone who isn't a friend. If I let it bother me though I am going to get smoked. I know if I start polite talk, like I am used to, he is going to go into his usual routine. Instead I would politely say hello, wish him luck on the first tee, then not say a word except what is completely necessary til we shake hands on 18.



    I would write a note to myself to keep in my pocket and if something he says gets my mind racing I would consult it for how I am going to respond. Something like "Focus, breathe, release" or whatever works for you.



    Either way this is actually a really cool opportunity for you to work on your mental game. If you view like a really fun challenge to stay focused it can be really energizing to realize that what others do cannot effect you when you are in the right headspace.



    Have fun and go low.



    Oh and also don't ride in the cart... Take a pushcart if you can. It will help with pacing and give you space to breathe mentally.
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  • StogiesNotBogeysStogiesNotBogeys Members Posts: 267 ✭✭
    I will say one thing… This is probably been the most helpful comment thread that I’ve been a part of on this website so far. Thank you
    The Grint App - CigarNate

    Current Setup for 2019:

    Ping Rapture - TFC 109 stiff
    Titleist 917f2
    Titleist 909H 19*
    Titleist 909H 21*
    Wilson FG Tour F5 5-G DG S300
    Callaway V-forged 54*
    Callaway V-forged 58*
    Odyssey O-Works #7s
  • ObeeObee ClubWRX Posts: 3,716 ClubWRX
    What kind of "trash talk"?
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  • cardoustiecardoustie haha, we don't play for 5's Members Posts: 11,854 ✭✭
    If you can remember this is his way of coping ... laugh it off internally ... and you ignore his BS ... you win
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  • Swisstrader98Swisstrader98 Members Posts: 3,519 ✭✭
    edited Jan 9, 2019 10:13pm #9
    I’ve had this exact same situation in the past and dreaded playing w a guy who was forever talking and talking a lot of crap.



    Next time out, on the very first tee I walked right up to him and in a respectful way just said “apologies in advance but I need to stay focused today so no idle chatter for me”. Almost said it as a joke but the guy was like “**** man. I hear you” We then proceeded to play for the next 4 hours in silence and I played great as did my FC.



    At end of round he says to me “I think I’m going to talk less during competitive rounds. I tend to play much better”. 😂
  • StogiesNotBogeysStogiesNotBogeys Members Posts: 267 ✭✭
    Obee wrote:


    What kind of "trash talk"?




    Just annoying stuff.



    “**** I thought you were good.”

    “You Southern boys probably should leave golf to men”

    “That would have been a great shot if you weren’t so bad”



    Puerile stuff, honestly lol
    The Grint App - CigarNate

    Current Setup for 2019:

    Ping Rapture - TFC 109 stiff
    Titleist 917f2
    Titleist 909H 19*
    Titleist 909H 21*
    Wilson FG Tour F5 5-G DG S300
    Callaway V-forged 54*
    Callaway V-forged 58*
    Odyssey O-Works #7s
  • ObeeObee ClubWRX Posts: 3,716 ClubWRX

    Obee wrote:


    What kind of "trash talk"?




    Just annoying stuff.



    "**** I thought you were good."

    "You Southern boys probably should leave golf to men"

    "That would have been a great shot if you weren't so bad"



    Puerile stuff, honestly lol




    Well okay then.



    Wow. I would literally never play golf with a guy like that unless I had to. In a tournament. Which I guess is what the is about. LOL



    Advice:
    1. Do NOT take a cart with him if you can help it.
    2. If you are in the same cart, walk a lot of the time
    3. Get in your own bubble. Your goal is to play YOUR game, ONE SHOT AT A TIME.
    4. Agree with an earlier poster: It's absolutely just "his thing." Let him be him, YOU BE YOU.


    Good luck!
    PING G400 Max - Tour 65 S
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    Don Wood Custom Grind 47* PW
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    Mizuno S18 60/7 LW
    Odyssey Works Versa Tank 1W (bent to 78.5*)
  • LeftDaddyLeftDaddy Members Posts: 712 ✭✭
    Feed off of it. Use it to increase your focus and concentration. Don’t let it make you mad. Let it feed your desire to kick his ...
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  • kozubskozubs Members Posts: 274 ✭✭
    You got time. Sneak over to his place and sleep with his wife. Get some photos. When he starts the trash talk whip out you phone and show him. That'll throw him off.
  • Loomis13Loomis13 Members Posts: 182 ✭✭
    I like talking like that if it is someone I am comfortable with. I would be giving it right back to him. See if I can handle it.



    But like someone else, you are already prepared for it because you know it's coming.
  • ObeeObee ClubWRX Posts: 3,716 ClubWRX
    kozubs wrote:


    You got time. Sneak over to his place and sleep with his wife. Get some photos. When he starts the trash talk whip out you phone and show him. That'll throw him off.




    I like it. He goes low, you go way, way lower. Nice. LOL
    PING G400 Max - Tour 65 S
    Callaway Rogue 15* 3W
    Titleist H1 19* Diamana S+ Blue 70hy
    Titleist H1 23* Diamana S+ Blue 70hy
    Adams Idea Tech V4 5H 25* ProLaunch Blue 75 HY
    Adams Idea Tech V4 6H 28* ProLaunch Blue 75 HY
    Adams Idea Tech V4 7H 32* ProLaunch Blue 75 HY
    Titleist AP2 716 8i 37* KBS Tour S
    Titleist AP2 716 9i 42* KBS Tour S
    Don Wood Custom Grind 47* PW
    Don Wood Custom Grind 51* GW
    Titleist "Vokey Design" 56* K Grind
    Mizuno S18 60/7 LW
    Odyssey Works Versa Tank 1W (bent to 78.5*)
  • texcromtexcrom ClubWRX Posts: 3,483 ClubWRX
    I live in Franklin, so I’m guessing this guy is from another part of the country, as we typically have gentlemen golfers in Middle Tennessee.
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  • rawdograwdog Cleveland, OHMembers Posts: 3,015 ✭✭
    Rohlio wrote:




    Either way this is actually a really cool opportunity for you to work on your mental game. If you view like a really fun challenge to stay focused it can be really energizing to realize that what others do cannot effect you when you are in the right headspace.






    ^ This is GREAT advice. I try to do this at times when I'm having a bad start to a round. Use it to show yourself what you can do.
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  • JagpilotohioJagpilotohio 45+ inch drivers are evil. Columbus, OHMembers Posts: 7,224 ✭✭
    Ask him if he knows you did 5 years for manslaughter for killing someone in a bar fight.



    Then show him the .45 you always keep in your golf bag and casually mention how much you hate trash talk on the golf course.



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  • JustsomeguyJustsomeguy Members Posts: 995 ✭✭
    In all competitive endeavors, the tip to staying focused on the game and not distractions- is to approach every segment with the idea, "No matter what, I will find a way to win this, even a cheeky way if that's germane."

    That acknowledges the challenge, but puts you on the track to solution rather than sidetracks that distract.

    It becomes motivation.
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  • dg_1983dg_1983 Members Posts: 1,283 ✭✭
    It is hard for someone to trash talk when they are 5 down. Let your game do the talking.



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  • StogiesNotBogeysStogiesNotBogeys Members Posts: 267 ✭✭
    texcrom wrote:


    I live in Franklin, so I’m guessing this guy is from another part of the country, as we typically have gentlemen golfers in Middle Tennessee.




    Yessir. Spring Hill/Franklin area here as well.
    The Grint App - CigarNate

    Current Setup for 2019:

    Ping Rapture - TFC 109 stiff
    Titleist 917f2
    Titleist 909H 19*
    Titleist 909H 21*
    Wilson FG Tour F5 5-G DG S300
    Callaway V-forged 54*
    Callaway V-forged 58*
    Odyssey O-Works #7s
  • StogiesNotBogeysStogiesNotBogeys Members Posts: 267 ✭✭
    You people are amazing 😂
    The Grint App - CigarNate

    Current Setup for 2019:

    Ping Rapture - TFC 109 stiff
    Titleist 917f2
    Titleist 909H 19*
    Titleist 909H 21*
    Wilson FG Tour F5 5-G DG S300
    Callaway V-forged 54*
    Callaway V-forged 58*
    Odyssey O-Works #7s
  • augustgolfaugustgolf Golf with dignity Coastal NCMembers Posts: 3,898 ✭✭
    **** as he's taking his address on the first tee
    Pings from the beginning

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  • deadsolid...shankdeadsolid...shank ClubWRX Posts: 14,671 ClubWRX
    augustgolf wrote:


    **** as he's taking his address on the first tee




    ��just be careful not to s!!t yourself......although if you do that will take care of the cart issue! No ways he’s riding along.



    In all seriousness OP, like others have said, just the fact that you are prepared for it this time is going to be a tremendous help for you.
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  • getitdailygetitdaily Members Posts: 2,440 ✭✭
    edited Jan 10, 2019 8:48am #25
    This is very simple...you HAVE to give him a constant dose of his own medicine.



    Bullies are bullies until they get punched in the mouth. So start early and give him heavy doses of sarcasm.



    If he hits a shot offline, tell him about it. Your response should be a bit technical in nature "that shot was terrible, must have really shut the face down with the hands on the way through"..."was that a dead pull or did you mean to putt on that line?"



    This guy thrives on getting into your kitchen and then cooking your eggs. Get into his first and he won't be able to get into yours.



    Now, I'd play this coy. Before the round let him do his jabbing and jawing...say nothing. Acknowledge him with niceties but don't jar yet. On the way to the first tee, don't jar.



    On the first tee say "good luck guys, play well". Then to him, be completely different than the other 2 guys in your group. When they hit say "good shot" or something like that. To him, even if he pipes it down the middle say "is that all you've got? You need to swing a little harder if you're going to compete today".



    If you can handle being him and playing your game then it won't take long for him to pipe down.



    Get in his kitchen before he gets in yours. You have to be able to refocus on your shot though. If you can't dip into and then out of character then this strategy will backfire.



    Have fun with the guy. Golf is always better when you're having fun. So have fun with him.
  • homergolfhomergolf Bay Village, OHMembers Posts: 1,677 ✭✭
    Obee is right. Just be yourself. If you are this concerned he’s already in your head. Get him out of there and play your game. He probably won’t change so you shouldn’t either. If he hits a nice shot, and it’s normal for you to say “nice shot”, then say “nice shot”. You gotta be the gentleman you are and forget about this guy
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  • BrianMcGBrianMcG Members Posts: 2,273 ✭✭
    Ask him if he inhales or exhales on is backswing.



    Or say something like, It's funny how far to the right you aim, but seem to pull everything back to target so much.
    Walter: Tell me Bobby, why do you play this game?
    Bobby: I play because I love it.
    Walter: Well I play for the money. I have to win. That is why every time we face each other I will always beat you.
  • Swisstrader98Swisstrader98 Members Posts: 3,519 ✭✭
    getitdaily wrote:


    This is very simple...you HAVE to give him a constant dose of his own medicine.



    Bullies are bullies until they get punched in the mouth. So start early and give him heavy doses of sarcasm.



    If he hits a shot offline, tell him about it. Your response should be a bit technical in nature "that shot was terrible, must have really shut the face down with the hands on the way through"..."was that a dead pull or did you mean to putt on that line?"



    This guy thrives on getting into your kitchen and then cooking your eggs. Get into his first and he won't be able to get into yours.



    Now, I'd play this coy. Before the round let him do his jabbing and jawing...say nothing. Acknowledge him with niceties but don't jar yet. On the way to the first tee, don't jar.



    On the first tee say "good luck guys, play well". Then to him, be completely different than the other 2 guys in your group. When they hit say "good shot" or something like that. To him, even if he pipes it down the middle say "is that all you've got? You need to swing a little harder if you're going to compete today".



    If you can handle being him and playing your game then it won't take long for him to pipe down.



    Get in his kitchen before he gets in yours. You have to be able to refocus on your shot though. If you can't dip into and then out of character then this strategy will backfire.



    Have fun with the guy. Golf is always better when you're having fun. So have fun with him.




    Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the face - Tyson
  • crapulacrapula Golf! Members Posts: 1,783 ✭✭
    edited Jan 10, 2019 12:09pm #29
    Just start crying and ****, then instantly stop crying and stare at him.



    You could also be overly positive and compliment him on everything.
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  • DavePelz4DavePelz4 A golf course in the Chicago area.ClubWRX Posts: 24,339 ClubWRX
    Look at this and realize that he knows you're better than him and the only way he can try to beat you is to be distracting. You own your mind and thought process so the only way he can get into your head is if you let him. Own your swing, own your mind, own the results.



    And after you kick this MF's ****, give yourself a mental pat on the back and realize you've taken your game to the next level.



    Excited to hear the results!
  • Krt22Krt22 Members Posts: 6,504 ✭✭
    Obee wrote:

    kozubs wrote:


    You got time. Sneak over to his place and sleep with his wife. Get some photos. When he starts the trash talk whip out you phone and show him. That'll throw him off.




    I like it. He goes low, you go way, way lower. Nice. LOL
    As terrible as sounds, it can be very effective. In my experience trash talkers like this unravel immediately once you put the heat right back on them. They typically get real quite/short/dejected if you lay it on after they hit a bad shot. The key is to let them go on the offensive first, let them talk the trash for the first few holes, let a bad shot pass, then on mid way through the front 9 drop a bomb.

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