Am I the jerk here?

Yesterday afternoon I'm playing as a single with a good pace of play (usually on to the tee at the time the twosome ahead of me is moving to their 3rd shot,) when I finally get to the 18th. It is about 5:20 and the course has asked for the carts to be back "around" 5:30. The twosome ahead of me has been joined by the two who were ahead of them and their extra time on the tee box has caused a back up of around 7 players. I get on the tees, wait until they look like they are far enough forward (it's getting dark so depth perception is a bit off) and go ahead and hit a bit sooner than I would have otherwise. Of course it ends up being my best shot of the day. A nice draw about 270 right to the middle of the fairway and apparently right near where one of the people who had joined the twosome was standing. I couldn't quite tell how close the ball was going to be to them so I immediately and repeatedly yelled FORE, I saw them react and then heard one of them start yelling at me. I knew he wasn;t hit but was clearly upset. I hopped in my cart and drove right to him apologizing as soon as I was in ear shot, and telling him I'd yelled FORE. The guy then went nuts, screaming and cursing at me and carrying on. I apologized again and said I was sorry but for some reason this just seemed to make him more upset.

His partner was telling him to just let it go and move on (and by this time of course the back up on the 17th had now moved to the 18th) but he kept going. Finally he hit his next shot turning around to yell at me before driving away. To avoid any more confrontation I waited until his group was finally off the green and on their way back to the club house before I screwed up my second shot and went on to a bogey.

When I went back to the cart return he was standing there waiting for me and ranting to the course staff (who looked shocked about why he was doing this,) I told him again that I was sorry and asked him what he wanted me to do? At that point he came towards me in a very threatening manner while I was still sitting in my golf cart. I was pretty sure he would have tried to escalate to physical violence if I didn't take action so I got out of my cart and started yelling back. He seemed to realize his mistake at that point (he was a good 6 inches shorter and about 100 lbs lighter than me,) and started backing down. I dropped my cart key off at the cart barn and apologized to the staff back there for what they had witnessed and explained my reaction to them.

Walking back towards my car he tried to go at me again but I ignored him while he started yelling at one of the staff (I don't think he realized that they were staff) to get in their car and go home because they were trying to tell him he was being unreasonable.

I've been playing golf since I was 6 or 7 years old, I've been hit by balls, almost hit by balls and almost hit people with errant shots (although haven't hit anyone yet thank god) plenty of times. In fact earlier that morning on the second i had a ball bounce off of the tee box less than a foot in front of me (no Fore, but the guy apologized because he didn't know I was there) and on the 8th I had to catch a ball that sailed over the green and would have hit me otherwise (no Fore.) I just shrugged them off as accidents. I was even willing to give this guy a little room since it was an unfortunate situation. However other than yelling FORE when the mistake is made and then checking to see if everyone is ok and apologizing I'm not sure what else one can do?

Napolean complex. I almost got hit the other day, but I played out field in baseball so it was easy to avoid.

Try to shake it off, people become absolute psychos on the golf course. I can’t explain the phenomenon. Just a lot of A hules get attracted to golf for some reason.

the guy is going to start something and you could have a 6 iron in your hand. The back of a 6 iron and the shin bone really don’t mix.

he sounds like a moron, I think you did fine.

Had a guy do the same at Cabot Cliffs after I flew it over his head ... total accident. Caddy told me to go, they were gone and out of sight .. long story

This guy was still ranting and 30 minutes later and the pro had to try to calm him down. Same deal ... smaller guy

Some people are nuts and can't see both sides of any situation because they've had THEIR way all of their life

Short of going back through time, there's nothing you can do. It does sound like you handled yourself as well as you could considering the situation, kudos to you for keeping your cool around this clown. I wouldn't be shocked if he were a few drinks in by the way he reacted.

That said, next time wait until you know for sure and there's zero chance of it being an issue. I know the carts were due in but I doubt they'd come out onto 18 and take it from you. I've found that nearly every time I'm stuck waiting on people for one shot, I'll inevitably be stuck again if I hit as soon as they clear. No point hurrying up just to wait again, give it some time and let everybody have some space.

Seems like he wasted a lot of energy yelling at you in the fairway. Wouldn't be surprised if he chili dipped his next shot due to fatigue

You went out of your way to apologize. I think we all know who the jerk was. He's probably had his ass kicked so many times, he doesn't care anymore.

You shouldn't have hit if there was any way to get close to them, but your apology should have ended things. I think you are a bit at fault, but his response was unreasonable. Nobody got hurt. I understand his initial anger, but after you rushed up, and apologized, that should have been it. It sounds like this guy might have had a few more problems than a ball landing close. You were definitely not the jerk.

We all agree you could have waited to hit, that being said, end of the round, getting dark, we all try to finish. If I’m wrong I sincerely apologize, if met with aggression I tell myself I was the one who was wrong and I apologize a second time, if not accepted at that point I no longer give a shite. If it’s worth fighting me over it, I respect your right to do so.

I think you should be commended for your restraint. The guy sounds like a real tool.

Exactly . 100 % my thoughts. I’ll apologize several times. But if you continue to rant , cuss , or god help you come my way to get into my space. Well. We will just see what’s what when you get there. I’m not going to attack anyone. But I’m not going to be bullied either. Not for a second.

little guys like this puzzle me. They just don’t know how many times in life Some better soul has spared them a beating. . People like that didn’t live very long 200 years ago. They’d just dig a hole and get it over with.

Really? Did you even read the OP's post? I'd love to hear your reasoning.

When it starts getting dark, the safety zone shrinks a bit. We all want to get 18 in.

I was standing in the middle of the fairway waiting for the green to clear so my cart mate could hit. We were about 200 off the tee. The guy behind us tees off. The ball came right at us. I saw it in the whole way and moved my cart mate in a safe direction. The ball hit our cart. I was pretty hot but the guy apologized. Still don't know what he was thinking. No one caused a scene.

I expect people to hit when it starts getting dark and scoot out of the landing zone asap. There's been days we had 6 or 7 people all coming up the 18th fairway.

They should have waved you up.

Jerk is a strong word, but maybe a little for hitting into someone in the fairway. It is one thing to hit one left/right near someone on an adjacent hole but to hit a good shot and have it land on or near someone who is in the middle of the fairway is a jerk move. ALWAYS wait until the fairway is clear, that should be etiquette 101.

Obviously the word jerk is not strong enough for the other guy. Sounds like a total a$$hat. You realized your mistake and apologized, like you should have. Not much more you can do after that.

The OP is a jerk for sure. Reasoning? Did you read the first post. Here’s how I read it.

It’s getting late and I was tired of waiting and wanted to get done. Knowing full well I could hit someone with a well-struck ball, I decided to hit anyway. (Begin humblebrag) I hit it 270 straight down the middle, right where those guys were and right where I was aiming.(end humblebrag).

Does that about sum it up? Everything after that is a result of that jerk decision to hit.

Additionally, he was in a cart. There was ZERO reason to hit as he was going to finish in the light. He’s in a cart. He can drive the cart 270 in about 10 seconds. It takes much longer to walk it. And even if he was walking, it STILL wouldn’t be an excuse to hit if someone COULD be struck by the ball.

Fairly simple reasoning really.

Huge difference between making a bad decision and being a jerk. A jerk would have hit that same shot and not said a word or apologized. I agree he never should have hit the shot but if he apologized as profusely as he said he did and the other dude just wouldn't let it go I'm giving him a pass. If I'm the guy who almost got hit I give the guy a little crap and accept his apology.

Would your opinion change if he said I “ hit a good one 195 down the middle “? Loll

you ever try to gauge a persons distance at dusk from 270 out? It’s not easy. Do you wait until they are all on the green or ? Say it’s a 295 yard par 4. Do you wait until they all putt out and leave ? I think you’re failing to see this from a longer hitters perspective. I’m not defending hitting into anyone. But. It’s exponentially harder to judge when you can poke it out there vs the guy who knows 225 is max down hill with a tail wind. Maybe try to see the other perspective.

Mat any rate. Nothing justifies the ass in the front groups reaction. Nothing. Not even if he gets hit.

You were a single playing in between foursomes in a crowded course? There was no ability to pair up or pass through during the round?

The jerk store definitely ran out of the other guy AND he's their best seller.

You made a mistake and admitted it over and over but the guy couldn't let it go. I'll bet the guy has likely hit into the group in front of him at least once in his life.

You did fine OP. There are jerks everywhere in golf and some people get angry when they play the game so you probably just put him over the edge.

I had something similar happen but with someone I know very well. We were playing a company golf scramble and there is a hole that is blind with no mirrors to see where group ahead was. My team did however go check and the group in front of us was down by the hole so we all hit our tee shots. I went last as I am the longest and I guess my ball sailed right over one of their heads. They were in a cart and backtracking looking for a ball. Not our fault, we looked and it was clear at the time. Guy was very mad at me but I am pretty confrontational in situations like that so I barked right back. Ugly situation for a while but in the end all was well. No apologies but I figure it happens. You did much better than I did, I think you would have diffused the situation I was in rather than make it worse like I did. So no, not a jerk.

Exactly this. I personally have the power to hit it a very long ways but not always the ability. I have to error on the side of caution even if I hadn't been hitting anything very well. It is extremely hard to judge distance beyond 200 for me so I wait until I am as sure as I can be and even then I have bounced them up to a group in front of me and had to apologize.

side note:

A single hit into my group is fine with me, mistakes are made etc etc

Just don't do it again ... especially if you can see my group on a straightaway hole

This has only happened once in my golfing life and I walked all the way back to dress down 3 clowns, who promptly called the pro-shop and said it was done because we were slow. It was me and 2 other former club C guys all with caps under 3 playing on a 3;30 pace .. but walking .. and hard against the group in front.

The group behind was tossed off the course, karma

side note #2: way more annoying than a drive that rolls up to you is the fella that hits into a green from 180 (a 20 cap with a 5 wood) while you've moved 10 steps off to the side. ARRGGGHHHHH

In fact earlier that morning on the second i had a ball bounce off of the tee box less than a foot in front of me (no Fore, but the guy apologized because he didn't know I was there) and on the 8th I had to catch a ball that sailed over the green and would have hit me otherwise (no Fore.)

This is the part that got my attention....Where are you playing? HAHA

Was a 4 some that began as 2 twosomes. They paired up at the end. Which caused the bottle neck.

Think about it. Odds are of he hit into them at 270 , they were on their 3rd shots at least. Unless they where big hitters and waiting for the guy who pounded it 295 to hit. So a 4 some hitting 3 shots into par 4s sounds about par for this course when hearing about the guys reaction. Not really smart.

Was just wondering if the group ahead could have let him through earlier but didn't. Sometimes that makes sense, but sometimes the course is crowded so it doesn't make a difference anyway.

If the group ahead is rudely playing slow, it is natural to hit as soon as you think they are far enough away to keep things moving. If you are playing at a decent pace, it's on you to wait until they are clearly away. Not only to not hit them, but also to not distract someone hearing a ball hit 20 yards behind them as they are taking their shot. Just wait until they are entirely done and have moved away.

Of course, blind shots are different circumstances, and mistakes happen so if you do it once entirely by misjudgement, no one should make that big a deal out of it. Do it twice and now you are at fault.

My advice would be not to try and understand or relate to certain peoples reactions, you often make the mistake of assuming others are normal and reasonable like you - I have found that this is less likely to be the case that one would think!

Mistakes happen and as far as I am aware there is no way to undo something that you have already done! :)

Chin up and move on :)

If you hit sooner than you would have normally you've answered the question of whether you hit too soon.

Jerk? No, the other guy was the jerk, but no reason to have triggered him.

Still, it can happen and I think post-tee you did all you could be expected to do.

Yes. I've never ever seen a stocky or larger guy with a temper. Never. They are 'always' even keeled.

Yup, it's always the little guy starting crap.

You don't know what the other guy was going through that day. You could've been the straw that broke the camel's back.

No excuses for his reaction but as the probable trigger just take it and move on.

My first bar fight was with a skinny biker when iwas still in high school who got angry that I beat himfor some beers shooting pool. The big fat biker in his gang settled him down and broke things up. I learned then, that the big guys were cool and to watch myself around the little dudes.

I could have read Of Mice And Men and learned the same thing from the safety of my home.