Golf friends vs. real life friends

[Warrick]

All the same, we have a group of around 20, we play golf, then hang out at one guys garage, it’s pretty damn big, heated, play bags in summer and drink and grill, fall after golf is drinking and ping pong.

[DIIV]

Funny seeing I’m not the only one.

Edited November 28, 2021 by DIIV

[charli]

My “going out” has turned into a round of golf with my buddies instead of the bar at night. I guess lucky for me I don’t see them as just golf friends. 

[DonOmar]

I feel this. The best time I had golfing was when I made friends off the course that also golfed. We golfed all the tine and hung out. 

 

Then I moved to a new state and made golf friends, but they don't cross over to being real life friends. I'm definitely not a fan to be honest, I would love to flip the script, but golf is so polarizing still that a lot of actual friends aren't open to playing. 

[ChipNRun]

I would say... yes and no.

 

After college, my wife and I lived out of state for most of about 35 years. When we moved back home, I reconnected with some HS and college friends through reunions; some alumni events involved golf outings.

 

I meet with the old connections on occasion, sometimes for golf. One friend from high school, I play in his golf group twice a month.

 

I play in a half-dozen benefit scrambles each year, which is people I know professionally who also play golf.

 

The remaining people I golf with are from the semi-private where I have a senior-card membership. I don't associate with them outside of golf; the on-course homeowners have their own clique.

[RoyalMustang]

On 9/26/2021 at 10:50 PM, Blaiser said:

Man, I really miss having friends that play golf. I'm at that age where all of my friends got married and are popping out kids, so the weekly golf with the boys is long gone.

 

I live in Silicon Valley, and it seems like no one in their 20's-30's plays golf out here. I often play solo, and I'm either playing with a high school kid, or a retired guy. Still great people to play with and I enjoy it, but not likely to be friends off the course.

 

 

 

Yeah, the game is too time consuming for tech professionals, or just not what people want to do.  I lived in a similar area and found that if you want to make friends, take up cycling or surfing!

 

That doesn't work in Texas though.  Once I moved here, I found that everyone golfed and cycling (outside of Austin) just isn't very popular.  

[RoyalMustang]

On 11/8/2021 at 12:26 PM, ZA206 said:

I've got at least 4 different friends "circles" that I'm very close to. One of them is a golfing buddies circle (most of these guys are single digit guys who belong to private clubs). I never mix friends circles though.

 

Basically nobody in the other 3 circles even plays golf (except one the one guy), which I find very strange.

 

Golfer buddy group (7 guys or so)

Neighborhood buddy group (6 guys)

Work buddy group (7 guys)

Kids Soccer buddy group (5 guys).... this one has the "other" golfer in it.

 

I'm sure most of you guys are the same way.

 

-ZA

 

I have 3 or 4 friends I try to play with on a regular basis (tough however, due to family commitments). They are grad school friends and we hang out once a month or so, either smoking cigars, karting, or going out to dinner w/friends.  All "golf" but none are serious enough to carry a handicap.  It is a good group but just tough to go get everyone together.  I have one friend who is a great player but he is recovering from a back issue.    

 

My different group of grad school friends doesn't golf and is kind of a separate group.  Oddly enough, one was a 3 handicap in HS but really hates the game now. Just got burned out.  All super smart people though-great conversation and I learn a lot from hanging out with them. 

 

The rest of my friends are a group guys I raced bicycles with for years. Those are probably the tightest bonds: on a weekly 80 mile, 4-hour ride, you do a lot of talking and shared suffering.  Golf isn't the same in terms of shared experiences.  

 

I am not really friends with any of our kids' friends' parents: we moved to this school district a year ago and as my wife said, it seems like they all have their "friend card" filled up.  Plus, it is very different culturally; lots of talk about the Cowboys, bass fishing, and crap they think they have figured out but don't have a clue about. Unfortunately, not much in the way of intellectual interest or professional curiosity.  My wife feels the same: she is a successful business owner with a medical degree, and most of the women in this school district are stay-at-home moms.  Most of these guys golf, but it is more of a "bro-fest, get drunk on the weekends so you don't have to deal with the wife" vibe.  

 

We just joined a private club and after the holidays, I am playing with a couple of groups of "great golfers, nice guys, no DBs allowed" that I was referred to.  I am looking forward to it!  Maybe in a month, I will have a good group of regulars to play with.  Now, if I just had more time to play!  Travel recently has been brutal for work

 

 

[Pepperturbo]

On 9/25/2021 at 5:23 PM, nikeblades00 said:

Some great comments here and realize this is fairly normal.

 

During covid year I had our deck renovated, and we hosted a couple backyard BBQ's with family/neighbors where I would smoke chicken and brisket. I got alot of compliments on my smoking skills. Wife goes to me why don't you "invite your golf buds over for BBQ one day". I instantly kill that idea by saying "no that would be awkward!". 😂

I understand.  Some of the contractor guys I used to train with were animals of a different kind.  All we had in common was certain beliefs and mutual ability to face crazy azz situations and protect each other's back with our lives, as if lifelong friends, yet we were nothing of the kind.  When back on American soil, everyone went different ways.  The same was true for my CAT bike racing buddies.  Yep, awkward. 

[1puttTUT]

I don't have a single "golf-only" friend. Everyone I golf with has been to my house multiple times, met my wife, hung out in non-golf situations, etc.

 

It's also rare that we just play golf and then go straight home. We almost always go to someone's house or a bar after to hang out for an hour or two. 19th hole cigars are damn near a law in our group.

[lchang]

3 hours ago, 1puttTUT said:

I don't have a single "golf-only" friend. Everyone I golf with has been to my house multiple times, met my wife, hung out in non-golf situations, etc.

 

It's also rare that we just play golf and then go straight home. We almost always go to someone's house or a bar after to hang out for an hour or two. 19th hole cigars are damn near a law in our group.

Weird!  😜

[RichieHunt]

I get this from time to time.  When I was in Florida my main issue is that every course I was a member it was a good distance from my home and most of the members lived close by.  The last course I was a member at I lived and worked about 50 minutes away.  We would socialize a little, but not what it could be.

 

Now living in Virginia I actually only live (and work from home) about 12 minutes from the home club.  Problem is that I've only been a member since April and I'm pretty certain I'm moving to Myrtle Beach permanently in 2022.  Then there's a good chance I'll be a member at a course that is at least 20 minutes from where I'm going to live.

 

I was a bit surprised living in Florida how many people I worked with didn't play golf.  I knew, far and away, more co-workers that had a pilot's license and flew planes on the weekend than played golf.

 

 

 

 

RH

[Mike_Honcho]

what few friends i have are retired Marines as well but they live in other states so my friend "circle" is really a line...to my wife...and we don't talk about golf 🤣.  

[Vanbilxmchi]

I actually prefer to have golf buddy separated from my regular friend. There will be no conflict of interest but purely enjoy the golfing on the course. Everyone can talk frankly

[Forged4ever]

My best friends were my golf friends and I slept/sleep with my mixed BB Partner🤷🏻‍♂️
 

Next...

 

Fairways & Greens 4ever My Friends⛳️
RP 

[Forged4ever]

On 9/23/2021 at 10:26 PM, Soloman1 said:

 I've met too many people who's first thought is, "How can I make money off this guy."

Easy peasy...

 

Stop betting and just play for sh*ts & giggles😉

 

Oh yea, nice round today with Danno!!

 

All the Best👊
RP

Edited January 15, 2022 by Forged4ever

[BB28403]

You guys are my friends! 🏌🏻‍♂️⛳️

[michboomin]

LOL this made me laugh, Im sure a lot of people are the same way. Im similar however I do occasionally hang with my golf buddies, I wish I did more.

[Avidswampthing66]

On 9/23/2021 at 9:26 PM, Soloman1 said:

I understand. Good observation and not something talked about. I'll bet you don't even talk about this with those golf friends. It would ruin it.

 

My username is derived from being kind of a solo guy, not wisdom, which is Solomon, not Soloman. Close friendships are hard because people can be disappointing. I've met too many people who's first thought is, "How can I make money off this guy."

Famous last words….“ So, ______ What do you do for a living?”

[MelloYello]

On 9/23/2021 at 9:50 PM, nikeblades00 said:

I just was wondering how common this is or isn't. Basically almost all of my golf friends, we have no relationships off the course. Even my main group of playing partners, some of us have been playing toghether for 15-20 years. I've never been to their houses, they haven't been to mine. Our kids and wives have maybe met in passing but nothing else. The only things we have done socially is attend PGA or LPGA events toghether.

 

I like these guys, most are really nice and all around good dudes. I just find it fascinating how our relationships are strictly golf!

 

I think you're just describing life in general as an adult. 

 

When I was young I had best friends. We saw each other at school. We'd hang out afterwards. We saw each other on the weekends, too. 

 

In my 20s I had some more variety. Now in my 30s, as an "adult," virtually all my relationships are somewhat constrained by the framework of my life: 

 

> Family

> Personal friends

> Friends of friends

> Group chat friends

> Going out to the bar friends

> Neighbors

> Work colleagues

> Golf buddies

 

Etc., etc., etc. 

 

Sometimes a person will be many of those things. I have one buddy who I used to work with. He lives down the road. I'll golf with him sometimes. I'll go out to the bar with him sometimes. We'll do various things.

 

Still, I have others who I only golf with. I have some great friends who sadly I might only see once a year but who I communicate with in group chat regularly. 

 

I used to think it was weird, too, but the more I reflected the more I realized that it's just the nature of being an adult in today's world.  

[nikeblades00]

5 hours ago, MelloYello said:

 

I think you're just describing life in general as an adult. 

 

When I was young I had best friends. We saw each other at school. We'd hang out afterwards. We saw each other on the weekends, too. 

 

In my 20s I had some more variety. Now in my 30s, as an "adult," virtually all my relationships are somewhat constrained by the framework of my life: 

 

> Family

> Personal friends

> Friends of friends

> Group chat friends

> Going out to the bar friends

> Neighbors

> Work colleagues

> Golf buddies

 

Etc., etc., etc. 

 

Sometimes a person will be many of those things. I have one buddy who I used to work with. He lives down the road. I'll golf with him sometimes. I'll go out to the bar with him sometimes. We'll do various things.

 

Still, I have others who I only golf with. I have some great friends who sadly I might only see once a year but who I communicate with in group chat regularly. 

 

I used to think it was weird, too, but the more I reflected the more I realized that it's just the nature of being an adult in today's world.  

Very well said. I do agree this is basically life as an adult.

It's pretty cool having a group of friends who are easy going and we all always get right back to where we left. I've met so many cool guys at my home course. Some 20 yrs younger and some 20 yrs older. Love this game! But you better believe I'm always trying to kick their a** on the course! 🤣

Edited January 17, 2022 by nikeblades00

[Grizz06]

I only have one friend that doesn’t play golf.   The irony of this is he is the one who arranged for me to play Pine Valley 2x.

[bfisher410]

Golf friends and real friends are completely normal. 

[Thomas Brack]

For me this is so true do to the age difference in people I play with a lot of older men so I only see them at the course.

[BNGL]

Golf friends, call me asking to join them for a game at my club as a guest (either one i worked, while working, or one I was a member of). “Hey so and so is down think you can setup a time at your place” 

 

Real friends, get the call asking to join for a game. “Hey man I’m available the next couple days if you can play some golf” 

 

sane result we still play golf, but different circumstances. The latter I enjoy playing with, the former comes with the territory of working in golf. 

[pukujuhla]

strangely really common to see this

[toddbournes]

My friends are my golf friends. I guess I play enough golf that I don’t really have time for a lot of other friends. 

[MountainKing]

I generally don't associate with people, in person, on a regular basis, unless they'd be people I'd have over to my house.  I've met people through golf that I've developed solid friendships with outside of golf and also met people off the course that I've also now taken to the course.   I currently don't have any golf only friends.  That thought is odd to me, so in a place like Chicago I'd have a friendship that depended only the weather?

[Dr. Block]

Golf helped me realize that I much prefer the company of fellas 10+ years my senior, and thanks to golf I now have some great friends that I never would have had otherwise. 

Edited February 24, 2022 by Dr. Block