Psychology of the game: How do you keep your head in it?

[Mainegrw]

I’ve been working hard this year to up my game, hitting the driving range 3 or more times a week, regular play some evenings on the local executive courses and par 3s, etc. This week alone I’ve been to the driving range 3 times and played 27 holes on a small course. Overall, it’s been a great week play-wise for me, with my practice clearly showing good results. The problem for me I think is mental. I go out, I have a great time when I don’t have a group rapidly approaching behind me, and I’m making good straight shots. I find that when I start to rush and/or I make a bad shot or two, I start to take my head out of the game, and then it goes downhill from there.
 

The catalyst for me this week has been the 5th hole on my local executive course. A short par 3, I can drop the ball on the green with an 8 iron off the tee. Two out of 3 nights this week, I couldn’t for the life of me hit a decent shot off that tee. I was either coming over the ball or digging into the turf on my swing, sending the ball a very short distance. This pulled my head out and I found myself skulling the ball with a wedge over the green on my second shot leading to a third, to put the ball on the green, and then at least 2 putts to hole it. After that, on those two nights, things kinda went down for the latter half of play, I still had some great hits and putts, but I found myself focusing on what I was doing wrong rather than celebrating what I was doing right, and I could see it affect my game. 
 

I finished those nights not feeling too positive, which followed on to last night’s trip to the local driving range with natural turf tees, where my negativity from the previous two nights fueled an intense determination to figure out where I was deficient in my swing and fix it. Last night, that determination did not help me. I hit a few bad ones, that lead frustration and more bad hits. This all culminated in probably the worst swing I’ve made in a few years at least, in which I heard a distinct cracking sound from my right middle finger and a bit of pain. I don’t think it’s broken, I can move it just fine, I’m just sore. It was however loud enough that the other guy on the range about 20 feet from me heard it and came to see if I was ok. 
 

That all said, how do you keep your head in the game even when it’s not going your way? I know that’s where I’m lacking and no amount of range time is going to fix it. 

[North Butte]

Can't tell you how to do it, it's kind of specific to your personality and habits of thinking. But you're on the right track that no amount of driving range practice is going to help you think better on the golf course.

 

I've had lessons and clinics where there was preaching about the value of "simulated round" type range practice. Maybe it's just my personality but that sort of thing is just totally useless for me. Standing there on a driving range trying to imagine that I'm hitting a tee shot then an iron shot on some particular Par 4 or whatever, it never quits being me standing on a driving range. 

 

My bugaboo isn't people behind me, it's people with or in front of me. 🤬 As long as I can hit each shot then move on to the next shot right away I can "keep my head in it" just fine. Even if I get a little frustrated or start having "what am I doing wrong" thoughts they don't seem to stick around if I can keep moving. But boy, slow me down to waiting before every shot and mental game becomes a nightmare, one bad thought at a time.

 

I do think the key skill you're going to have to develop is to play a round (not every round but at least sometimes) that is 101% dedicated to playing and not practicing, not troubleshooting, not "working on" anything. I read between the lines that you don't really every do that. Whether on the course or the range your thoughts are always circling around technique or mechanics or going through checklists. 

 

Here's the key. Your head is not in the game to start with if you step up to your approach shot on the 3rd thinking about grip/stance/posture/takeaway or anything other than "the ball is here, I'm going to this club to hit the ball there". Being in the game means focusing on what needs to be done, then focusing on seeing the result. Anything else and your head is in the driving range, so to speak. 

 

Good players can usually flip between those modes at will. Remember Tiger Woods and how he was able to step aside between shots and troubleshoot all sorts of little intermediate positions in his swing. But then from the moment he stepped up to the ball he had a laser focus on creating the exact shot shape and target he needed. You and I are not that good, we're not even on the same planet. The best we can do is "flip the switch" sometime before we get to the first tee and keep our head in play mode until we finish the round. 

[jdl]

Having (and using) a good pre-shot routine can help. Do all your thinking/planning/worrying about a shot, but then once you've decided on it, commit to that shot and start your routine. Even practice it on the range, don't have to do every ball but maybe the last 10/20 or so.

 

I've been working a lot on my mental game too. When things start to go off the rails for me I tighten up and start to lose my width on the backswing. Which leads to some steep, over the top downswings and poor contact. It's a never ending battle to try and get past those things and be able to re-set on the course.

[SNIPERBBB]

As we used to say playing baseball/softball...

 

 

Make the next play. 

[MelloYello]

They'll tell you to practice if you want to improve, and yeah, that's part of it... 

What they don't tell you is that at some point you'll have to take it to the course, grind through a large number of rounds (some going well and some not) proving to yourself you can do it. 

 

Only after you've gotten comfortable seeing a lot of good results on the course does it really become natural and flow much more easily. Sounds like you're still in the phase of proving to yourself you can do it with good play. 

 

Only when you one day find yourself on the course with no real anxiety because you've been there a bunch does it really sink in that you're no longer worried about stuff: how today is going to go, whether the PoP will be distracting, whether that first important putt will lip out or fall in, etc. 

[Dabetic]

I've improved my mental a lot by accepting that fully accepting that bad shots will happen. I don't keep count by any means, but I hit a bad one and think "yep, there's one, it was coming" (not exactly that but whatever comes to mind at the moment). This is why I can't stand post-round wouldda couldda shoulddas...you have them every single round. That's part of the game.

 

It's that and simply being happy that I'm out there playing. Expectations do nothing but risk stress and damage on the scorecard.

 

Keeping the mental in line is incredibly difficult, but it's also why I love this game. It goes far beyond the physical. Constant challenge every time you tee it up, and it's always self against self. Will never be perfect. Day to day fluctuations will occur. It's a battle to improve over a longer, slower timeframe that requires patience and is difficult to measure in the moment. 

[phizzy30]

In this game, you need to have a very short memory.  Back in the day, if I had a blow up hole, it would carry over to the rest of the round.  It wasn't until I changed my mental approach to one shot at a time that I really begin to forge mental fortitude.  I played Los Serranos yesterday and tanked the front 9 shooting 40.  Felt like I left some shots out there.  Shot 37 on the back which included a birdie.  I wipe the slate clean after 9 which really helps me focus on the back 9. 

Edited July 21, 2023 by phizzy30

[byoshio82]

4 hours ago, Mainegrw said:

I’ve been working hard this year to up my game, hitting the driving range 3 or more times a week, regular play some evenings on the local executive courses and par 3s, etc. This week alone I’ve been to the driving range 3 times and played 27 holes on a small course. Overall, it’s been a great week play-wise for me, with my practice clearly showing good results. The problem for me I think is mental. I go out, I have a great time when I don’t have a group rapidly approaching behind me, and I’m making good straight shots. I find that when I start to rush and/or I make a bad shot or two, I start to take my head out of the game, and then it goes downhill from there.
 

The catalyst for me this week has been the 5th hole on my local executive course. A short par 3, I can drop the ball on the green with an 8 iron off the tee. Two out of 3 nights this week, I couldn’t for the life of me hit a decent shot off that tee. I was either coming over the ball or digging into the turf on my swing, sending the ball a very short distance. This pulled my head out and I found myself skulling the ball with a wedge over the green on my second shot leading to a third, to put the ball on the green, and then at least 2 putts to hole it. After that, on those two nights, things kinda went down for the latter half of play, I still had some great hits and putts, but I found myself focusing on what I was doing wrong rather than celebrating what I was doing right, and I could see it affect my game. 
 

I finished those nights not feeling too positive, which followed on to last night’s trip to the local driving range with natural turf tees, where my negativity from the previous two nights fueled an intense determination to figure out where I was deficient in my swing and fix it. Last night, that determination did not help me. I hit a few bad ones, that lead frustration and more bad hits. This all culminated in probably the worst swing I’ve made in a few years at least, in which I heard a distinct cracking sound from my right middle finger and a bit of pain. I don’t think it’s broken, I can move it just fine, I’m just sore. It was however loud enough that the other guy on the range about 20 feet from me heard it and came to see if I was ok. 
 

That all said, how do you keep your head in the game even when it’s not going your way? I know that’s where I’m lacking and no amount of range time is going to fix it. 

Once you hit a shot forget about it can’t change it. One bad hole will not ruin your round but if you dwell on that hole then you certainly can spiral. 
 

I know ahead of a round I’m gonna have some bad holes but by having a strong short game I can overcome a lot during a round. 
 

With that said it’s golf and it’s the most frustrating and rewarding game on the planet. Nothings the same ever. Only thing in my game that’s always dependable is my short game and that’s taken years of practice and experience. 
 

One last thing when you hit a bad shot take your medicine and don’t try to hit the hero shots to get back strokes. Rarely works out in a positive manner. 

[chisag]

... As an actor, we rehearse before an audition. We find our rhythm and hone our performance for the audition. The problem is even though it is the exact same script, standing in front of a mirror or running lines with a friend or spouse has no consequences if you make a mistake. You just start again. But auditioning with the Director and Producer is a completely different animal and the tension is off the charts because you don't get a second chance. Some auditions can change your career and your life. While not as drastic when playing a round vs practicing the concept is the same. All the rehearsal in the world does not prepare you for the pressure of doing it live when it counts. Same thing applies for the range vs the course. 

... The secret is not caring about the results. It takes mental discipline but it really frees you up mentally to perform at your best. Pick your target, commit to your swing and then swing as free as if you were hitting a golf ball off a cruise ship into the ocean. (using a biodegradable ball 😇) Many have a hard time with not caring about something they very obviously care about but it is really about just changing your expectations in the moment, not your end goal. 

[kiawah]

I always think there aren't NEARLY enough threads like this one. The fact that you've identified that you want to start thinking better is probably a sign you're on the right track to improving your scoring ability. 

 

There have already been a number of good answers to this thread, but a few things I like to think about are:

 

Playing one shot at a time, and helping to accept the last shot by asking myself what the challenge I'm facing on the next is going to be rather than focusing on the last one. If you stripe one down the middle on 1, you'd think to yourself, "okay, the biggest challenge on this next shot is going to be going through my routine and committing to the target I pick." Maybe it could be making sure you accelerate on a certain chip, favor a certain side, etc., but the main point is it gives you something to think about immediately after you've hit a shot and there's less room for your mind to wander. 

 

Another thing is making the choice to be positive. There are probably a few great players who get mad at themselves and beat themselves up to get their round going. However, for 99.9% of people, getting mad makes them super judgmental and makes it hard to make good decisions without your emotions getting involved. Try your best to laugh off the bad ones and move on, or at least make an effort to enjoy the good shots. When I played in college I got into a funk mentally because I felt like good shots were "supposed to happen" and bad shots were inexcusable. If you're going to beat yourself up on the bad ones, at least be fair and enjoy the good ones. 

 

You can also try the mental scorecard approach. Rather than keeping score traditionally, just add a tally mark on each hole for every time you hit a shot you weren't 100% committed. According to the mental scorecard theory, every shot you failed to 100% commit to costs about 0.25 shots on average, so four of them add up to one lost shot. Basically your goal is to try and get that number as low as possible. Best of luck!

 

[Pepperturbo]

@Mainegrw

That is a common problem with a great many people.  Golf is one way it shows up, there are many others.  Doesn't matter the task, action or function, ladened with excuses, mentally quitting on one self has become too acceptable.  It's a lack of confidence, self-control and living up to strenuous personal goals or expectations that lead to poor performance and focus, often ending in lousy result. 

 

I'll omit my clinical education and share my experience.  No matter what I tackle in life, I want to excel.  As a kid, for hours on end, I shot wasps on the barn wall with my BB gun, then became a 600-meter shooter.  Later after school, in the 70s, before 2-Man Beach V-Ball Tournaments turned professional, I trained and played 2-man beach tournaments as if it were a profession.  Subsequently, when I CAT raced, my 100-120mi training rides were as if training for TDF Stage Race.  By the time I took up golf at 40yrs old, self-control, focus and overcoming strenuous tasks such as life-threatening obstacles were familiar to me, so golf challenges and focus needed in tournaments were exciting but easy by comparison. 

 

How many times do we hear a Professional PGA golfer talk about as a kid he used to practice/play thinking he was making shots in the US Open or Augusta, etc.  You got to have serious desire, a goal to reach, not want to fail to muster up the motivation to focus and execute.  It's not so much what you do, but how you mentally tackle it.  Most people do not see golf or not playing really well as failure; they cut themselves a lot of slack, plus excuses; I see it with some friends.  Therefore, they struggle to overcome the game's obstacles.  On the other hand, regardless of what I tackle, I have disdain for failure; call it a character flaw.  I will NOT quit on myself.

 

Last, I do not share expecting anyone to do it my way.  I share because self-control and focus are not ingrained in any of us; it's the result of serious mind training, maybe though repetition that gets us through challenging places.

 

 

 

 

[Ri_Redneck]

For me, it's issues outside of golf. I can handle fast play, slow play, noise and all the other distractions on the course. But life issues will get in the way of my golf thoughts every time. Case in point. We're closing on a house soon and dealing with the lawyers has gotten me and my wife strung out big time. Had some customers in last week for 3 days and played like crap every day. Constant texts and phone calls trying to get all the T's crossed and I's dotted so this thing doesn't fall though. Wrecked my whole game all three days. Couldn't focus on anything at all. Decided I'm not playing again till the deal is done. In the past it's been other things. However, if I can get 3-4 hrs when I'm not distracted by stuff like that and I can put up a good score.

 

BT

[Pepperturbo]

4 minutes ago, Ri_Redneck said:

For me, it's issues outside of golf. I can handle fast play, slow play, noise and all the other distractions on the course. But life issues will get in the way of my golf thoughts every time. Case in point. We're closing on a house soon and dealing with the lawyers has gotten me and my wife strung out big time. Had some customers in last week for 3 days and played like crap every day. Constant texts and phone calls trying to get all the T's crossed and I's dotted so this thing doesn't fall though. Wrecked my whole game all three days. Couldn't focus on anything at all. Decided I'm not playing again till the deal is done. In the past it's been other things. However, if I can get 3-4 hrs when I'm not distracted by stuff like that and I can put up a good score.

 

BT

Moving and house buying are maybe in the top five of the most stressful events in our lives.  I understand your frustration and hope it all goes well.

[Soloman1]

Don’t make every shot life or death.

Wide lens between shots, zoom in when it’s your turn.

 

No psychology needed for 15-20 seconds of focus.

 

[RoyalTroon]

Keep your head in it by keeping your butt out of it.  

[Roejye]

It's tough when your game is not living up to expectations. My mental game has improved by mixing in rounds where I'm just out to enjoy the game, weather, whomever I'm playing with, etc. I may keep track of the score on the particular hole I'm on, but I won't add it up and even actively trying to forget it. Another thing that I try to do is just forget the shot. I've seen videos of drills/strategies where there's boxes or lines where once you pass that imaginary barrier, you move on to the next shot.

 

One thing I'm trying to work on is a pre shot routine, and sticking to it.

[Medson]

Before you go down this psychology/mental side of golf, you really wanna look at the opportunity cost. Based on your handicap, where’s the biggest improvement coming from?

 

One thing about mental side of golf, you’ll not become a better golfer even if you have a world-class mental. A mental will make your bad golf less bad. 

For example, If you are inconsistent with ball striking, just work on skills. Then, developing a consistent setup and call it a day.  

[Chunkitgood]

If you hit your 8 iron better, would you have had that problem?
 

Medson is nicer than I, obviously.  Possibly smarter.  More polite, certainly.

 

So, my personality shortcomings being not susceptible to being hidden in comparison to him, I will go on and ask the rude and repetitive question:

 

Do you play golf by hitting down on the ball, or by hitting up?

[DaveGoodrich]

  

4 hours ago, Medson said:

Before you go down this psychology/mental side of golf, you really wanna look at the opportunity cost.

 

What opportunity cost?  Nobody is suggesting that we should abandon working on our "skills" in order to work on our mental game. Everybody can, and should, work on both if they want to improve. 

 

4 hours ago, Medson said:

One thing about mental side of golf, you’ll not become a better golfer even if you have a world-class mental. A mental will make your bad golf less bad. 

 

A worthy pursuit then, IMO. We all have times when we need our bad golf to be less bad.  That is, in fact, one of the ways we become better golfers. 

 

42 minutes ago, Chunkitgood said:

If you hit your 8 iron better, would you have had that problem?

 

Indeed, quite rude. The OP specifically asked for advice on how to keep his head in the game when things aren't going his way, and your response is to tell him, essentially, "make sure it always goes your way."  A useless and unhelpful response.

[ericz]

8 hours ago, DaveGoodrich said:

Indeed, quite rude. The OP specifically asked for advice on how to keep his head in the game when things aren't going his way, and your response is to tell him, essentially, "make sure it always goes your way."  A useless and unhelpful response.

 

Whether it's rude or not is up to the reader, but I disagree that it's useless and unhelpful. Absolutely nothing wrong with improving your mental side of golf, there is probably some value there, but nothing keeps your head in the game better than good shots.

 

OP, your two bad shots, the chunk and then skull are probably caused by the same swing issue. You'll need to figure out and understand why that happens at a technical level. How you do that is up to you and how you like to learn; lessons, self-understanding of the golf swing, etc. I think you're on the right track, keep grinding and figure out your flaws and you're mental game will improve as well.

[ShortGolfer]

Yes,  I have similar issues.  I'm retired, but got called up for Jury Duty.  It was cancelled but the uncertainty of Jury Duty messed with my head.

 I think the only way to get better is to grind through them and practice despite unfavorable situations.

Learn consistent setup routines to "get you in the zone."  Do them no matter what.

I take that back.  If you see lightning stop and get off the course immediately.  Go to a safe place like inside the protective steel shell of a car.

 

Consider taking stroke and distance penalties.  Old school players were taught to always play it as it lies.

If you have a perfect lie in the middle of the fairway and duff the shot into the rough, stroke and distance makes a ton of sense.

Drop another ball and take the penalty.  If you are a typical beginner, you need more practice from the fairway than from the rough!

Correctly taking penalties is a big part of the game.  

Edited July 22, 2023 by ShortGolfer

[naval2006]

Good golf is more about grinding it out than hitting it like a champ. It’s not what most people would like to hear, but good scorers know that well. 
 

This game gives us the possibility of learning and improving nonstop. But it’s key to have our expectations adjusted to our ability to keep on grinding optimistically. 

[Mainegrw]

On 7/21/2023 at 11:07 PM, DaveGoodrich said:

  

 

What opportunity cost?  Nobody is suggesting that we should abandon working on our "skills" in order to work on our mental game. Everybody can, and should, work on both if they want to improve. 

 

 

A worthy pursuit then, IMO. We all have times when we need our bad golf to be less bad.  That is, in fact, one of the ways we become better golfers. 

 

 

Indeed, quite rude. The OP specifically asked for advice on how to keep his head in the game when things aren't going his way, and your response is to tell him, essentially, "make sure it always goes your way."  A useless and unhelpful response.

All true statements here… I can’t say for sure that having a good hit with my 8 iron on the 5th the other night would have improved the rest of my round, but stepping back, I can for sure see and feel a sudden loss in confidence in my setup and swing that translates from one club to another in the bag, usually amongst the irons if I hit one bad, then I start to second guess setup with the next one, less so moving up to a hybrid or driver. 
 

Believe me, I’m putting in the work physically to improve. I hit the range 3 or 4 evenings a week, and play as much as I can. I rounded out my week yesterday at 63 holes played on three different courses (hence the delayed reply to my own thread, lol!). I am by no stretch a good golfer, but I’d say better than some, and working hard to get better.
 

I know a lot of my issue is mental and keeping my head in it. I have, for example, spent a lot of time working on my stroke with my 3 hybrid. I’ve gone from a relatively low probability of hitting a good shot with it, to a place where I’m so confident in my setup that I know how far and where the ball is going to go 90% of the time. Because of this, I’m more relaxed in my setup, and I feel less anxious, so my craps are good. Same goes for my pitching wedge, approach wedge, and 7 iron which I play regularly and feel confidence in my setup. There are other clubs that I struggle with, the 5 iron or the 8 iron for example are ones that I have practiced a lot with and can hit well, but there’s the few times where I hit a bad one, and then the doubt starts, the anxiety goes up, and so does the frustration. That’s where I struggle, I can play reasonably well when I’m relaxed and the perceived stress is down, but once I’ve gotten into my own head and I’m second guessing every aspect of the game, I can’t hardly play at all. 

[Patnachts]

Process process process. The best way to stay in it is, among what others said, is to have a good locked in routine. There are a lot of schools of thought as to what a good process looks like, but I'll outline mine real fast as an example:

 

1.) Before you ever walk up to the ball, you must "solve the problem". What does the lie, wind, etc. look like, what shot shape do I want to hit, how far do I want it to fly, where is my start line, etc. This can take as long or as short as you need, the amount of time isn't set. Once you have made your decisions, you can then start to think about hitting the ball.

2.) Once you are ready, you can transition from solving the problem into "answering the question." I use a physical trigger (a pat my butt, but others strap their glove, etc.) to transition between states. This state should take the same amount of time each time and your focus should be solely on answering the question with the solution you already decided on. No double guessing start line, club choice, etc. 

 

You mentioned that you can't solve your woes at the range, I highly disagree. Just like with anything, you need to practice your routine and process. That can be done at the range. Play a hole in your head, find any number of pressure games, doesn't matter. What is important is to practice the routine, don't hit shots without it. You would be surprised how quickly the range can become the course and vice-versa if you deliberately practice your routine during practice.

[i*windows]

so when you are playing you should really just be thinking about how to get the ball from A to B, no swing thoughts (which is hard).  Be smart on the tee box, if you are playing a fade/slice today then maybe setup on the right of the tee box and aim across the fairway to the left, if it goes straight it will be fine, if it curves right it will also be fine. If your irons suck, then take a club more and play little punch shots up the fairway - look at how the old guys play, punt it up and make the putts.

 

lots of ways to score well but not actually hit really good shots.

[Mainegrw]

On 7/24/2023 at 9:00 AM, Patnachts said:

Process process process. The best way to stay in it is, among what others said, is to have a good locked in routine. There are a lot of schools of thought as to what a good process looks like, but I'll outline mine real fast as an example:

 

1.) Before you ever walk up to the ball, you must "solve the problem". What does the lie, wind, etc. look like, what shot shape do I want to hit, how far do I want it to fly, where is my start line, etc. This can take as long or as short as you need, the amount of time isn't set. Once you have made your decisions, you can then start to think about hitting the ball.

2.) Once you are ready, you can transition from solving the problem into "answering the question." I use a physical trigger (a pat my butt, but others strap their glove, etc.) to transition between states. This state should take the same amount of time each time and your focus should be solely on answering the question with the solution you already decided on. No double guessing start line, club choice, etc. 

 

You mentioned that you can't solve your woes at the range, I highly disagree. Just like with anything, you need to practice your routine and process. That can be done at the range. Play a hole in your head, find any number of pressure games, doesn't matter. What is important is to practice the routine, don't hit shots without it. You would be surprised how quickly the range can become the course and vice-versa if you deliberately practice your routine during practice.

I like your technique, and much of it I do myself already. I have a Garmin Fenix with the golf app, by the time I’m getting out of the cart, I’ve already started to decide based on the stated distance and my lie, whether it be uphill, downhill, or flat, which club I intend to play. I don’t usually factor wind into it too much, then again, I can only remember one time out in recent years where I had a strong enough breeze to affect my shots. Then from there it’s approaching the ball and setup, which I practice, practice, practice to no end or the course and on the range. I step up, first it’s checking foot placement, a process getting more natural the more I play, then stretch the back out, shift my weight forward a bit, bend the knees a little and relax the muscles, grip, arms, back. Last is the hand position, I need to consciously adjust myself, naturally I want to interface with my hands rolled back a bit, and I need to bring them both more forward, this is something that I’ve struggled to make part of my subconscious routine. Also, making sure the hands start forward of the club head a bit, again something that’s not quite a natural thing to me yet. One last check that I’ve relaxed the muscles, and then bring the club and back and swing.
 

I have consistency for the most part, but I start to loose it when start to try and make wild swings, leading to slices and misses. If I take even 10% off my stroke, I am much straighter and consistent. Why don’t I do that every time? I think it’s the mental part, competitiveness somewhat, that I have to out drive, out distance land a better lie than my playing partner on every shot.  I tend to play better when I’m playing on my own rather than with others because I am only playing against myself mentally, but on the range I feel like it’s always a competition to be better on every subsequent shot, thus in a fierce competition with myself leading to injury. 
 

Spent a little time on Monday at a Top Tracer range setup in warmup mode to analyze my swing a bit. I’d consider this place to be optimum conditions, nearly new nice flat and level range mats, and brand new Callaway range balls. It is far from the lumpy ratty range mats and shaggy rough turf that I normally practice on, so I have no excuse, any miss or slice is purely on me and my technique.
 

With a seven iron, I hit a few shots that were inconsistent owing to an attempt to increase my distances. Taking a little bit off my swing yielded a more consistent result, and I hit around a dozen shots in a row with the same intensity all falling in about a 10 foot circle, all just about 140 to 144 yards from the tee. For me this is good distance, I don’t need much more out of my seven iron. Stepping it up to a five iron, I went back to trying to swing it out of my shoes again, really get the ball out there. First shot was an awful miss, second went a fraction of the distance I was aiming for, and with the third, while I managed to get it out a bit further, I still fell short of my target, and swung so badly that I hurt myself.
 

I took a break, tried to walk it off, but I pulled a muscle in my back and it wasn’t just going to go away quickly (in fact nearly 2 days later, and I’m still a little sore). I tried to tough it out and do some wedge work, the burning pain in my back left side wouldn’t allow me swing very hard, but I have to say, those may have been some of my most consistent hits with a wedge in a long time. Trying to step up to the longer irons and my driver showed similar results, however the pain was too much to continue, and I had to abandon my practice shortly after. 
 

What I learned from this is that my setup works for the most part, I am doing things right and in the right order and I can strike the ball with some consistency and repeatability. Where I still fall short I think is in my head. I need to reconcile with the delusion that someday if I practice hard enough I’ll be able to hit the distances the pros do, and I need to be out of competition with myself and others when I’m on the course and on the range. This is how I’m going to improve and grow as a golfer I think. 

[DevilDog]

Not sure if this helps but a big fallacy in golf is that you can concentrate over the entire round.  Can't be done for that long.  Have to stay loose between shots and accept whatever happens as part of the game.  The pre-shot routine, as previously mentioned, helps you to get focused on that shot.  After that shot is hit, can't start thinking ahead or anything else.  Just stay loose.  Joke with yourself, hum a song in your head.  Then, when you get to that next shot, evaluate what's facing you and execute it.  Repeat the process.  The mind can lock you up big time if you try to stay focused for 4 hours or so.

[Patnachts]

23 hours ago, DevilDog said:

Not sure if this helps but a big fallacy in golf is that you can concentrate over the entire round.  Can't be done for that long.  Have to stay loose between shots and accept whatever happens as part of the game.  The pre-shot routine, as previously mentioned, helps you to get focused on that shot.  After that shot is hit, can't start thinking ahead or anything else.  Just stay loose.  Joke with yourself, hum a song in your head.  Then, when you get to that next shot, evaluate what's facing you and execute it.  Repeat the process.  The mind can lock you up big time if you try to stay focused for 4 hours or so.

This cannot be stated enough, 4.5 hours (if we are lucky) is an impossible length of time to focus. Have to be loose between shots, highly focused when it is your turn, and then revert back to relaxing.

[ae1985]

How do I calm my nervousness? Even pointless league matches I get nervous. Qualudes? 

[DFinch]

Lots of great advice here. Expectations are the killer. You work hard, you put the time in, you care, you study, you drill....you expect something from that. It's normal to expect improvement or some progress. That expectation also kills your game.

 

Here's the thing. Nobody cares and you shouldn't either. It's a game. It's supposed to be fun. Your job is to hit the little white ball, find it, and hit it again. Everything else is just self-induced pressure and putting value on something to the point that the result matters more than the process. Results based golf does not work. Playing golf swing instead of golf does not work.

 

It doesn't mean you can't take it seriously. It just means....cut yourself a break. Your worth doesn't decrease if you shoot 100 or increase if you shoot 70.

 

In between shots, smell the roses. Look for wildlife. Talk sports or whatever with your playing partner. Breath in the fresh air. Develop a short pre-shot routine so that you can "step into the batter's box" and make a swing, then step out of the box and forget about it. You can't change it anyway. Physical triggers for when you're stepping in and out of the box can remind you when it's time to focus and time to let it go and relax. 

 

There are some great books out there that teach about the mental side of peak performance but I always go back to the classic "Golf is Not a Game of Perfect". My best rounds have always been when I was sick, or coming back from an injury or busy time when I couldn't practice (all related to having zero expectations for that day), or when I've been able to get into the mindset that today I literally don't care what my score is. My lowest score ever was a 67 and I didn't have any idea I'd even broken par until my playing partner told me the score and then I had to go back over each hole to make sure it was right. I knew I was swinging well and that I had made some putts. My partner knew well enough to not say a word about the score. All I was doing was hitting the shot in front of me and chatting about Formula 1 with my F1-obsessed playing partners and enjoying the day. One year in the "club championship" I shot 92-73. On day one I cared. On day two I almost didn't show up.

 

There's a reason that breaking 90, or breaking 80, or breaking 70 are brick walls for golfers. It's 100 percent between our ears. Those threshold numbers mean nothing, just like whatever score you shot in your last round or the score you shoot in your next round.