My Friend Cheats At Golf

[gaffs]

I have had a golf friend now for the best part of 6 years who cheats.

 

I have seen him drop balls when looking for his as well as improve his lie. Then he will often "miscount" his score on a hole. He will start the hole with a callaway and end with a titleist.

 

The whole thing is puts me off my game. 

 

Despite this, he is a good guy. We have a lot in common and he is someone who has connected me to other players who I now call friends. He is kind of the "glue guy" that connects a lot people together, especially on golf trips we have been on where there have been 8, 12 or even 16 guys. He knows way more people than I do.

 

Im going on a 4 man golf trip with him in a couple of weeks, but im already starting to think about his cheating and how it puts me off.

 

What would you guys do?

[Maine Golfer]

Unsure, but this stuff sends me. I'm all for a friendly match but you if you don't even respect being honest, c'mon. Golf is fun, it means a lot to me and telling lie's doesn't help .  I wish I had advice. 

[wobgon]

Do you have any friends who have handicaps that are not accurate?   If so you have more than one friend who cheats. 

[ucmike11]

Don't gamble any money, that way you have nothing to lose (but your own golf balls!)

 

 

[MtlJeff]

I would just get over it, unless he is cheating while gambling for money. In which case you should probably talk to him about it. 

 

But if not, who cares....you need to get over it on your end. I have a friend who cheats so profusely that his index is like an 8-9 and it probably should be 18. I don't think he could break 92 playing by the rules and his scoring average this year is like 85.

 

Tons of guys fluff their lies, forget shots etc. If he's a nice dude just enjoy the company. Bigger stuff to worry about these days

[Soloman1]

If you don’t any money or comparing scores on the line, I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s a social event. Is he a tax accountant?

 

 

[zip7111]

If he is really your "friend" I would talk to him about it.  If he appreciates your friendship he should listen and understand where you are coming from.

[ALX]

Unless there is a significant amount of money on the line, I would let it go. Sounds like you are making your own golf and life worse by dwelling on this when he may think less about it than you do.

[I'_rather_be_golfing]

I also have a guy in my group that cheats. I’ve made it clear don’t ask me to put money in if he’s in it. Or don’t put me in a group with him. The cheating isn’t what’s annoying. It’s his mouth and how much he talks himself up is what’s annoying. OP as long as you don’t have money involved. Let the guy cheat away.

[VNutz]

As long as there's no money on the line and is harming nobody else, let it go. I don't care for cheating either but if it's not affecting you personally I'd sweep it under the rug. Most cheaters when confronted tend to ruin any friendly dynamic you might have.

[ApostateDrive]

2 minutes ago, I'_rather_be_golfing said:

I also have a guy in my group that cheats. I’ve made it clear don’t ask me to put money in if he’s in it. Or don’t put me in a group with him. The cheating isn’t what’s annoying. It’s his mouth and how much he talks himself up is what’s annoying. OP as long as you don’t have money involved. Let the guy cheat away.

 

This is the crux of it for me. Play golf however you want. But don't be cheating when there's money on the line and especially don't be a loudmouth about how good you are.

[Brooks_Cupcake]

Agreed. I once moved a ball off a tree root in a friendly match with an ex-pro, no money on the line, he called me out on it, and never played golf with me again because I said I had par when I didn’t. Lesson learned the hard way, because he is a good dude.

In friendly games, the only rule I won’t abide by is the fairway divot rule, and I will move it to the fairway. 

[pingfool]

49 minutes ago, wobgon said:

Do you have any friends who have handicaps that are not accurate?   If so you have more than one friend who cheats. 

 

^this^

falsified handicaps should be viewed same as guy that “finds” his ball in the woods, or fluffs his lie. 

I think this why country club golf can be cliquey at times. 

We dont play with guys we dont like their index - or have been known to take liberties with ROG

[ApostateDrive]

2 minutes ago, Brooks_Cupcake said:

Agreed. I once moved a ball off a tree root in a friendly match with an ex-pro, no money on the line, he called me out on it, and never played golf with me again because I said I had par when I didn’t. Lesson learned the hard way, because he is a good dude.

In friendly games, the only rule I won’t abide by is the fairway divot rule, and I will move it to the fairway. 

 

Never playing golf with you again is ridiculous. We aren't sponsored by the OEM's, so I'm not gonna potentially wreck a club on a freaking tree root. So silly.

[cgasucks]

If his play doesn't really affect your play or scores, then live and let live.  He's just cheating himself.

[bcjim]

3 minutes ago, ApostateDrive said:

 

Never playing golf with you again is ridiculous. We aren't sponsored by the OEM's, so I'm not gonna potentially wreck a club on a freaking tree root. So silly.

Aren't there exceptions for tree roots in a fairway? Otherwise a tree root is no different to any other lie you might judge unplayable.  And in most cases you could simply chip the ball somewhere without damaging a club.   Still,  I wouldn't react the way this pro did.

[Nickb333]

I’d be much more concerned about wrists than my club. 
 

And yes, no betting with a cheater. 

[Brooks_Cupcake]

10 minutes ago, bcjim said:

Aren't there exceptions for tree roots in a fairway? Otherwise a tree root is no different to any other lie you might judge unplayable.  And in most cases you could simply chip the ball somewhere without damaging a club.   Still,  I wouldn't react the way this pro did.

My ball wasn’t in the fairway, it was just off the fairway and by a tree.

 

All good, was 15 years ago, but he wouldn’t ever let it go. So strange.

[Foonsy]

Like the others have said, if there's no money on the line there's no reason to burn bridges over something so trivial. If it bothers you so much just make it a 3 man golf trip in your mind and enjoy your vacation.

 

In my experience, I have a close friend who did the same, so I called him out on it in jest during a round, the embarrassment was enough to make him not do it again. Doesn't seem you're as close with this guy so probably not the best call

[Pepperturbo]

I would NOT invite someone that cheats on a golf trip with others; it's that simple.  But if others on the trip know him for his behavior and have no issues, far be it from me to say otherwise.

 

That said, my values define who I spend time with, on and off the golf course.  I won't sing praises for sandbaggers or cheaters and not think their behavior doesn't permeate their lives elsewhere, or others around them; it just might not be obvious.   

 

Of course, it all depends on how egregious the cheating is, too.  I know numerous ole guys that play by the rules but bump the ball, I couldn't care less.  And some people have physical limitations that may necessitate fudging on some rules to play our great game. 

 

[Mikey_HACKilroy]

I don't really care until folks start bragging. Then it gets under my skin. Should it? Nahh.... But it does.

At least some folks will unknowingly post errant scores by a few strokes if they miscount penalties. I don't always assume everybody does it all the time on purpose. Though, when I see a guy shank not only his first drive, but his rehit, and then post a flattering score..... it bothers me to some extent.

Though, the factor of how much it bothers depends on how badly I'm playing..... LOL

 

 

[JohnnyCashForever]

7 minutes ago, ApostateDrive said:

 

Never playing golf with you again is ridiculous. 

 

Ridiculous or not, it's old-school.  I can respect that.    

[Kenny Lee Puckett]

2 hours ago, gaffs said:

Im going on a 4 man golf trip with him in a couple of weeks, but im already starting to think about his cheating and how it puts me off.

 

What would you guys do?

If you're dreading that during this trip money games will always be involved than first instance go ahead and immediately call him out on it, hold him accountable for his B.S.

 

No need to go verbally assaulting him about it. When you first witness him choose to fudge the numbers directly ask, almost making light of it, to explain himself in front of the group, "Common, wait a minute. You want to be put down for a 5? How did you make a 5 on that hole??". At that moment you might not get the truth out of him that he made a 6, he'll talk his way out of it, unlikely, but possible. But now he'll at least know you're willing to confront him, and he's being watched, closely. He's not going to want/risk having to stand there telling tall tales over and over again, and he'll course correct and start accurately calling out future scores on the trip. Problem solved.

 

EDIT: Now, if you're all out there just enjoying your own rounds, then honestly, who cares what he's out there doing. If that's his gig, let him do it all he wants. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Edited October 9, 2023 by Kenny Lee Puckett

[Fuscinator]

The next time you catch him cheating, chuckle about it and tell him how my wife tees her ball up in the fairway because she can't hit it off the ground.  (She also runs between shots so she won't hold anyone up.)

[Ferguson]

According to the published rules of golf, most people cheat when they play golf.    Think about it, anyone that has ever moved a ball, taken a mulligan, moved some pine needles, improved their stance, touched the sand, rolled a ball or played "winter rules" (and the list goes on) is a cheater.  

 

Now in your case, it's all about how the player (your friend) defines cheating. 

Moreover, it's how your group defines cheating.  

 

 

My advice, the next time you tee it up with this guy - look at him and the other two guys on the first tee and say, "let's play it down today and see what happens." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 9, 2023 by Ferguson

[Phabs]

I could careless if any of my buddies cheat when we play golf.  It's a game have fun...  You lost 5 balls and made par?  Cool next hole 

[puttnforthe8]

1 hour ago, Brooks_Cupcake said:

My ball wasn’t in the fairway, it was just off the fairway and by a tree.

 

All good, was 15 years ago, but he wouldn’t ever let it go. So strange.

Why didn't you say you had a 5?  You are taking issue with him - but you could have just said 5 and all was fine.  You took an unplayable, scored a 5.  Hilarious that he is somehow the issue!

[dfeldss]

Fight him on the 18th green in full view of the clubhouse.

[airjammer]

I had a friend like this…among other things we are no longer friends. He was a really good athlete when he was a kid and then when puberty hit, he just got left behind and never recovered. That never stopped him from thinking he was still the best and who do whatever it took to remain that way in his mind. 
 

I’ve known people over the years similar to this friend and in general they aren’t people you want to do business with as they’ve had the tendency to put you down to keep themselves elevated. 

[Brooks_Cupcake]

49 minutes ago, puttnforthe8 said:

Why didn't you say you had a 5?  You are taking issue with him - but you could have just said 5 and all was fine.  You took an unplayable, scored a 5.  Hilarious that he is somehow the issue!

I never said anything about him being wrong or an issue - maybe you should read my comment again. We weren’t playing for anything, and I just came off a broken hand so I get it, I took a 4 when it was a 5. Like I said, all good, I understood his reasoning.