Got expelled from my CC

[FormerBigDaddy]

So earlier this year my family and I joined a country club and it was a perfect fit. Great golf, dining, events, pools and things for kids to do etc.  About a month ago my wife went to a ladies social event, drank too much, and acted like an idiot. The club decided to end our membership. I’m devastated… my first experience as a member at a club and I just loved it. Thought it would be our club for many years and my kids would grow up going there. They gave us a chance to appeal in person by I’m not optimistic. 
 

I remember when doing the paperwork to join that there was a question about ever being expelled from a club before… I’m hoping we can join another club but I’m concerned the new club will somehow know we have been kicked out of a club before and deny us. Worried I’m going to be basically blacklisted. Is there a way for other clubs to know our history??
 

The wife made a mistake and trying so hard to take it easy on her but dang… Anyone ever experience anything like this and an in person appeal go your way? 

[newbsauce]

Just get a divorce and then write the mother of all posts in the “You know you’re a GOLFWRXer when” thread. 

[TheDominator273]

I can't even imagine what your wife could have done to cause that based on behavior I've seen and heard about.  But specific to your question there's a pretty good chance a new club in the area will find out or hear about what happened, whether or not they keep you out as a result is way to unpredictable to know without knowing the full circumstances of what happened.

[mshills]

Damn.

 

Been around clubs for a long time in several capacities. Member, guest, employee, and caddie. I’ve seen some stuff, especially when alcohol was involved. 😱
 

Something doesn’t feel right — expelling a family due to ONE incident? 🤔 Someone must have been off the chain!
 

No need to elaborate on what happened. To answer your question, depends on where you live, really. In a tight knit community where everyone knows everyone within a degree of separation you may have a problem, but in a bigger or more transient area, you are probably fine. 

[pingfool]

Usually more to the story every time I see a post like this….

[nitram]

Attend the appeal. Make them look you in the eye.

 

If it comes to going to another club, so be it. If asked, tell the truth. There's a good chance someone at the new club had an issue at the old one as well. There's competition between clubs and usually there's a similar reason like yours as to why subsequent clubs are formed.

[Neo1]

just find a new club, why would u want to stay at a place where you will never feel truly welcome anymore. if your wife made a mistake hopefully she apologized to whoever necessary and move on.

[NJBigFish22]

I agree that we are not getting the whole story, which the OP may not feel comfortable sharing.  If I had to guess his wife said something to the wrong person and they probably overreacted since you are new.  I would go to the appeal, even if I decided to find a new club cause I may gather info that diffuses or can help explain at the next place. 

 

This is reminds me of a girl I worked with got drunk and told the Owner of the company off.  Within 2 hours of dinner ending she was history.

[againstthegrain]

That sounds very harsh.  Only the OP will know whether to attend the appeal based on a complete understanding of what happened and to whom.   Hopefully there is  a neutral 3rd  party that would can give the OP the  complete story.  Guessing like NJBF says the "wrong" person was involved.

 

Obviously a sincere apology needs to be made.  Although in these times in the US if politics is involved it's probably hopeless or there is a  probationary period during which one can be  expelled for most anything.   If the wife made friends at the club  I would try to get a couple letters from them stating that this was out  of character and maybe a few letters from the OP's friends talking about his good standing.   Also I might volunteer for the wife to be unable to consume or be served alcohol at the club for a year or 2.  We had a member get a year long vacation from our club, and he really should have been let go so  perhaps there is a less severe penalty that could be substituted.

 

 

[nvr3putt]

I was imagining OP's wife was dancing like Elaine Benes from Seinfeld. 

 

Either way good luck on the appeal. Consult a lawyer if needed.

[joj]

Please tell us!! We are a part of an online golf forum. We have no lives. We need entertainment. 

[Neo1]

17 minutes ago, joj said:

Please tell us!! We are a part of an online golf forum. We have no lives. We need entertainment. 

 

I've never been so insulted but yet so much agreeable at the same time 🤣

[Hawkeye77]

13 hours ago, FormerBigDaddy said:

So earlier this year my family and I joined a country club and it was a perfect fit. Great golf, dining, events, pools and things for kids to do etc.  About a month ago my wife went to a ladies social event, drank too much, and acted like an idiot. The club decided to end our membership. I’m devastated… my first experience as a member at a club and I just loved it. Thought it would be our club for many years and my kids would grow up going there. They gave us a chance to appeal in person by I’m not optimistic. 
 

I remember when doing the paperwork to join that there was a question about ever being expelled from a club before… I’m hoping we can join another club but I’m concerned the new club will somehow know we have been kicked out of a club before and deny us. Worried I’m going to be basically blacklisted. Is there a way for other clubs to know our history??
 

The wife made a mistake and trying so hard to take it easy on her but dang… Anyone ever experience anything like this and an in person appeal go your way? 

Overthinking the join other clubs part, but nobody who doesn't have knowledge of your city and the clubs that are your options can give you an opinion that would be valid on other clubs procure, or, lol, blacklisting.  One valid opinion - I guarantee there are other clubs that will gladly take your money.  Don't sweat it.

 

On the other hand, if it was just one isolated incident, and that's all there is to it, and there is an appeal process and the club means that much to you then you and your wife participate in the appeal - so it's really not over yet.  Nobody else's experience, unless they belong/belonged to your club is really all that relevant.  

 

 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Hawkeye77

[Bob Cat]

No way I'd want to stay there.  Prior to appeal, ask if they'll accept a resignation with pro-rated refund.  If they won't, threaten a $hit show at appeal from your wife and possibly an attorney.  They need to feel a little heat in what may have been a knee-jerk expulsion.

 

Oh, and your wife probably just had an adverse reaction to the amines in her red wine.  Yes?

 

@Hawkeye77 Love your annual Steve and Eydie avatar.

[Hawkeye77]

3 minutes ago, Bob Cat said:

No way I'd want to stay there.  Prior to appeal, ask if they'll accept a resignation with pro-rated refund.  If they won't, threaten a $hit show at appeal from your wife and possibly an attorney.  They need to feel a little heat in what may have been a knee-jerk expulsion.

 

Oh, and your wife probably just had an adverse reaction to the amines in her red wine.  Yes?

 

@Hawkeye77 Love your annual Steve and Eydie avatar.

Thanks!

 

And yes, there is another approach vs. fall on your sword! 

[wobgon]

Most clubs have a member or family that they would love to have an excuse to get rid of....Any chance there is more to the story and your wife's social event was just the straw that broke the camels back?

[cheeser]

You were loving the club for nearly a year, say 6-9 months?  That's plenty of time to feel the place out...i.e. them being super stuffy and/or frowning upon acting like an idiot while drunk, which leads me to believe that your wife was extra idiotic in her behavior.  Or, this wasn't her first time acting stupid.  Given the information you provided, something tells me they tolerated her behavior on several occasions and had finally had enough.  

[Gsea]

More to the story and we will never know. Whatever it was why do you want to go back and be "stared" at etc. Hope it's not a small town.

[dlygrisse]

I’d advise getting a individual membership. 

[Mr. Bean]

The opening story is somewhat interesting but I cannot help asking myself how does that fit to the forum of Rules of Golf and Etiquette.

[Mustard_Tiger]

16 hours ago, TheDominator273 said:

I can't even imagine what your wife could have done to cause that based on behavior I've seen and heard about.  But specific to your question there's a pretty good chance a new club in the area will find out or hear about what happened, whether or not they keep you out as a result is way to unpredictable to know without knowing the full circumstances of what happened.

 

Really? It's 2021. I can think of a million things she could have said to get expelled. It used to be you had to do something bad to get fired, expelled, cancelled. Now all you need to do is express a thought that offends someone.

 

And maybe she did something instead of said something. The OP did not elaborate (and I'm sure he doesn't care to).

Edited December 18, 2021 by Mustard_Tiger

[Mr. Bean]

2 hours ago, Mustard_Tiger said:

 

Really? It's 2021. I can think of a million things she could have said to get expelled. It used to be you had to do something bad to get fired, expelled, cancelled. Now all you need to do is express a thought that offends someone.

 

And maybe she did something instead of said something. The OP did not elaborate (and I'm sure he doesn't care to).

Maybe she used the n-word.

[Mustard_Tiger]

55 minutes ago, Mr. Bean said:

Maybe she used the n-word.

 

Nike?

[Gsea]

4 hours ago, Mustard_Tiger said:

 

Really? It's 2021. I can think of a million things she could have said to get expelled. It used to be you had to do something bad to get fired, expelled, cancelled. Now all you need to do is express a thought that offends someone.

 

And maybe she did something instead of said something. The OP did not elaborate (and I'm sure he doesn't care to).

went Karen ....

Edited December 18, 2021 by Gsea

[ThePutterGirl]

@FormerBigDaddySounds obvious, but read your clubs rules and by-laws. If your wife did anything stated as grounds for immediate expulsion, you have your answer.   Was an inappropriate word used towards a well-liked bartender or waitstaff member? 

 

Now some ladies locker room talk. You mentioned you like the club, how was your wife liking it? Was she making friends and feeling comfortable there independently of you? 

 

I'd think carefully before considering appealing. Without more details, unless what your wife did was egregiously inappropriate or illegal, it's hard to imagine what she could have done!  

 

Even if your appeal is successful, its going to be hard socially at the club, but is going to ten thousand times harder for your wife.  I highly doubt your wife was the only one there who had one too many glasses of white wine.  My hunch is, these women are either not very gracious or do not like your wife.  Why would you want to be a member there?

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

[dlygrisse]

Is this one of those “asking for a friend” type of posts?

[miamistomp]

 Without knowing what she did it is impossible to offer advice

 Did she snort a line  in the ladies room? Did her gun drop out of her purse or did she just barf all over the ice sculpture ?

[Gsea]

1 hour ago, ThePutterGirl said:

@FormerBigDaddySounds obvious, but read your clubs rules and by-laws. If your wife did anything stated as grounds for immediate expulsion, you have your answer.   Was an inappropriate word used towards a well-liked bartender or waitstaff member? 

 

Now some ladies locker room talk. You mentioned you like the club, how was your wife liking it? Was she making friends and feeling comfortable there independently of you? 

 

I'd think carefully before considering appealing. Without more details, unless what your wife did was egregiously inappropriate or illegal, it's hard to imagine what she could have done!  

 

Even if your appeal is successful, its going to be hard socially at the club, but is going to ten thousand times harder for your wife.  I highly doubt your wife was the only one there who had one too many glasses of white wine.  My hunch is, these women are either not very gracious or do not like your wife.  Why would you want to be a member there?

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

100% but I'm sure Bigdaddy has flown the coop. 

[Simp]

2 hours ago, Mustard_Tiger said:

 

Nike?

You're canceled. 

[ArtMBgolf]

At an Appeal, you might be able to change to a suspension on probation
and have your wife apologize.     Maybe a witness can say it wasn't as 
bad as accused.   Maybe she got in the Pres's wife face?   
 
Do they also have anything on you, like an argument, slow play, breaking 
any rules?   This would add to what she did.    
 
It seems to me they could just have suspended her for some time.