Proper Spacing - Group Waiting for Tee to Clear

[DaveLeeNC]

Our group had a small surprise today. The course was crowded so we were waiting on almost every shot  (the group in front was not a problem - just a slow/crowded course). The group in front of 2 men/2 ladies were playing the middle and most forward tees respectively. As we drove up to our tee on hole 8 the ladies in front were just getting out of their cart to hit. They were 52 yards in front of us  (we were stopped on our teebox). 

 

One guy in the group made it clear that we were too close. I am not sure if it was because we were 'only' 52 yards back or if he wanted us to wait before our teebox no matter where it was, or what. He made the comment as they were beginning to drive off so we kind of acknowledged that (not a big deal) and off they went (and we were careful from that point forward).

 

But what exactly is the etiquette? There are going to be places where it is going to be hard to stay more than 52 yards from them and a similar distance from the previous green. We honestly were not sure what to think. My sense is that he just did not like us being on 'our tee box' before they were done teeing off. 52 yards seemed like plenty of room to us. 

 

Comments/thoughts? 

 

Thanks.

 

dave

[596]

If there is space between green and the next tee box when someone is on the tee box, I've always stopped prior to the tee box.  The tee box is theirs as far as I'm concerned and give them space.  Even if they are playing forward more tees.  Although in some situations there is not much choice to stop before the next tee, in which case I stop as far back as possible.  Once in a blue moon there can be more then 1 group, as in a par 3 situation, and then you don't have much choice to be closer to them then I like.  

[DaveLeeNC]

@596 Thanks for the comment. I assume that when you said "the tee box is theirs" you mean all the tees on that hole (even in the case of that being 5 very separate 'tee boxes'). It is just a perspective that had not occurred to us. 

 

dave

[MarcellusW]

Good question, Dave.

When I know the group in front is not the problem, I do try to give a little acknowledgement like stopping 10 yards before my tee box while they are hitting, or getting out of my cart without a club and facing the other way.   Obviously, every situation is different.  If the tee box is close to the last green, you might not have a choice.
 

When I feel like they are the problem, I stand on the tee with club in hand.   It’s a way of saying that I'm ready to hit and I’m waiting. Nobody, ever, likes getting pushed by the group behind.  And, we’ve all been there.  You want the group behind you to know that you’re not the problem.  
 

But, you didn’t do anything wrong.  They were probably frustrated by the backup.

 

 

[Mr. Bean]

Sounds like hypersensitive people to me.

[klebs01]

11 hours ago, DaveLeeNC said:

Our group had a small surprise today. The course was crowded so we were waiting on almost every shot  (the group in front was not a problem - just a slow/crowded course). The group in front of 2 men/2 ladies were playing the middle and most forward tees respectively. As we drove up to our tee on hole 8 the ladies in front were just getting out of their cart to hit. They were 52 yards in front of us  (we were stopped on our teebox). 

 

One guy in the group made it clear that we were too close. I am not sure if it was because we were 'only' 52 yards back or if he wanted us to wait before our teebox no matter where it was, or what. He made the comment as they were beginning to drive off so we kind of acknowledged that (not a big deal) and off they went (and we were careful from that point forward).

 

But what exactly is the etiquette? There are going to be places where it is going to be hard to stay more than 52 yards from them and a similar distance from the previous green. We honestly were not sure what to think. My sense is that he just did not like us being on 'our tee box' before they were done teeing off. 52 yards seemed like plenty of room to us. 

 

Comments/thoughts? 

 

Thanks.

 

dave

Way over sensitive. You weren’t on the box they were using. I don’t cause a commotion when they are hitting, but otherwise walk up to the box. If it’s as slow as you mention, I’ll say hi. Maybe take a seat on the bench if there’s one.     The expectation that people hang out in some no man’s land makes no sense. 

[North Butte]

I'd write off that situation as just one of those random, senseless encounters you have once in a while with a doofus. You certainly were doing nothing wrong or impolite. 

 

But I'm terribly conflict-averse, myself, and would have given said doofus's group a wide berth for the rest of the round just to keep from having to engage with them again. 

[Hawkeye77]

Once upon a time my Grandpa and I were behind a couple and an attractive young lady (I was probably 15) and pace of play really wasn't an issue but we seemed to get closer/catch up a bit after our drives - I asked him if we should stay back a little - he laughed his deep, cool laugh, and said he thought I'd enjoy a closer look!

 

He would suggest your situation is purely . . . . situational!

[Socrates]

I am very conscious of my positioning with respect to others ahead of me.  If there is no where to go, getting out of your cart and standing on the tee (any tee box) before the group ahead has left is being passive aggressive and you are now either sending a message to them that they are slow or you think you should play through.  Same goes for being out on the fairway.  Rushing up to your ball and then standing beside it with a club in your hand while they are in range also is being passive aggressive.  

 

If there is an opportunity to play through (open holes ahead of them) then it is necessary to be ready to play so that when the opportunity to play through presents itself, you are ready.  On a tee box, I will often drive or walk right up to them and if they don't offer I will ask them if playing through is okay.  Sometimes you need to be a little aggressive or it may never dawn on them to let you get past them.  But, there needs to be open space ahead of them.  No sense of trying to play through if there is nothing to be gained.

[DaveLeeNC]

1 hour ago, Socrates said:

Rushing up to your ball and then standing beside it with a club in your hand while they are in range also is being passive aggressive.  

 

I don't know about the 'rushing' part, but being ready to hit pretty much the moment that the group in front has cleared is the essence of ready golf (as I define it). I have never played with a group that backs off from the fairway when the course was playing slow. And you certainly have your club selected and it has been in your hand for however long.  Interesting perspective. 

 

dave

[North Texas]

29 minutes ago, DaveLeeNC said:

 

I don't know about the 'rushing' part, but being ready to hit pretty much the moment that the group in front has cleared is the essence of ready golf (as I define it). I have never played with a group that backs off from the fairway when the course was playing slow. And you certainly have your club selected and it has been in your hand for however long.  Interesting perspective. 

 

dave

 

Here's my perspective when it comes to waiting in the fairway while the group ahead is on the green. 

 

I never get out of the cart until they have all putted out and have put the pin back in. My thinking is that I still have plenty of time to determine club selection and go through my pre-shot routine as they are walking off the green to their carts and have actually cleared the green by driving off. 

[North Texas]

15 hours ago, DaveLeeNC said:

Our group had a small surprise today. The course was crowded so we were waiting on almost every shot  (the group in front was not a problem - just a slow/crowded course). The group in front of 2 men/2 ladies were playing the middle and most forward tees respectively. As we drove up to our tee on hole 8 the ladies in front were just getting out of their cart to hit. They were 52 yards in front of us  (we were stopped on our teebox). 

 

One guy in the group made it clear that we were too close. I am not sure if it was because we were 'only' 52 yards back or if he wanted us to wait before our teebox no matter where it was, or what. He made the comment as they were beginning to drive off so we kind of acknowledged that (not a big deal) and off they went (and we were careful from that point forward).

 

But what exactly is the etiquette? There are going to be places where it is going to be hard to stay more than 52 yards from them and a similar distance from the previous green. We honestly were not sure what to think. My sense is that he just did not like us being on 'our tee box' before they were done teeing off. 52 yards seemed like plenty of room to us. 

 

Comments/thoughts? 

 

Thanks.

 

dave

 

Personnally, I don't see anything wrong with what you did. The group in front of you had plenty of personal space. 

 

And I will always err on the side of giving the group in front of me too much room when it come to spacing on the tee box. Well, that is, unless they are slower than Christmas and holding up everyone behind them, lol. 

[straightshot7]

We don't have all of the details here, but I'm assuming you probably didn't know that the ladies had not tee'd off yet because you couldn't see the ladies' tee from wherever you were driving in from.

 

If I were the guy in the other group, I would assume this and think no problem ^ no harm no foul.

 

You also don't say which tee box you were using, but if I saw the ladies yet to tee off I would stop at the tips, for example. Even if I wasn't playing the tips. To give them more space.

 

Still, not a big deal. If the course was full he should know it wasn't your intention to be rude.

[PJE]

I don’t think you had any bad intent and it doesn’t sound like you did anything rude. 

It sounds like you pulled up to a vacant tee box and waited for people on another, distant and separate tee box to hit?  It doesn’t sound like you pulled up in proximity to the group’s tees while it was occupied. 

 

If I’m in a cart I park several yards away until everyone clears a tee box. Unless the course is crowded and in that case, it might not be possible. I play a muni with a long, tough par 3 that regularly backs 2-3 groups up.  So there might not be a place to park. 
 

When I’m walking, I just sit on the bench near the tee.  This seems viable.  
 

I think you ran into a sensitive person. 

[chisag]

16 hours ago, DaveLeeNC said:

But what exactly is the etiquette? There are going to be places where it is going to be hard to stay more than 52 yards from them and a similar distance from the previous green. We honestly were not sure what to think. My sense is that he just did not like us being on 'our tee box' before they were done teeing off. 52 yards seemed like plenty of room to us. 

... Non completive golf is supposed to be a social game. Interaction should be welcome, although it isn't always and you just need to read the room. If the group in front is waiting on the tee we usually walk up and wait with them. They will make it pretty clear if they want to be left alone or enjoy some friendly banter. It is usually the latter but if they want to stay in the own world that's fine too and we won't bother them. If they are getting ready to hit, we hang back until they have all teed off. I would like to say it is all just common sense but clearly some suffer from Nocomonsenseitis.  

[Socrates]

1 hour ago, DaveLeeNC said:

 

I don't know about the 'rushing' part, but being ready to hit pretty much the moment that the group in front has cleared is the essence of ready golf (as I define it). I have never played with a group that backs off from the fairway when the course was playing slow. And you certainly have your club selected and it has been in your hand for however long.  Interesting perspective. 

 

dave

Most people don't realize the message they are conveying to the group in front of them.  I often will get to my ball.  Look at the lie and get the yardage and then get back into the cart.  If I'm walking, I usually won't pull a club out until they are starting to move away.  I've already figured out the club and shot I want to hit so I'm ready to go as soon as they are moving.  I've been on the other end of the stick and it can be annoying, especially when there is nowhere to go.

 

I've played with guys that are sensitive to weird things.  One guy wouldn't let you pick up the flag until he was done putting.  Even if you were nowhere near his line.  Said he felt rushed if you picked up the flag.  

[Soloman1]

I used to (as in no longer) play with a guy who whined that the color of my hat distracted him. I was on the other side of the fairway.

 

Give someone 52 yards and they’ll take a mile.

 

 

[Augster]

I know this involves carts, and I know course design adds in, but if I’m walking and the course is backed up, I’m walking right up to the tee box and sitting on the provided bench while the other group tees off.

 

I’m not standing in some limbo between tee boxes because some hack is too scared to hit a ball in front of strangers. 

 

 

[charli]

I don’t see an issue with it but would you mind if someone was playing the tees behind you just waiting at their tee while your hitting? 

[DaveLeeNC]

52 minutes ago, charli said:

I don’t see an issue with it but would you mind if someone was playing the tees behind you just waiting at their tee while your hitting? 

They could stand on the tee, stand on the roof of their cart, climb a tree, I don't care as long as they are out of my space. I am not sure where 'my space' starts, but it is less than 52 yards away. 

 

dave

 

ps. Kind of a snide remark by me, but truly I would not have an awareness of their position  and simply would not notice if they were standing by a teebox, on a teebox, or behind a tee box. I would have no idea which of those three it was (unless their distance from me made it obvious). 

Edited May 7, 2023 by DaveLeeNC

[2bGood]

21 hours ago, Mr. Bean said:

Sounds like hypersensitive people to me.

 

In my experience there is allot of women golfers that don't want an audience as it make them nervous. An unhappy wife and husband with her can be a bad combo.

 

The OP was lucky it was not Jada playing the front tees. 

[North Butte]

6 hours ago, 2bGood said:

 

In my experience there is allot of women golfers that don't want an audience as it make them nervous. An unhappy wife and husband with her can be a bad combo.

 

The OP was lucky it was not Jada playing the front tees. 

I am aware that some women express that issue. It's unfortunate for them but an exclusion zone that stretches more than 52 yards (maybe 100 yards? 150?) just isn't practical given the realities of crowded golf courses. If she can't play golf with anyone other than her husband within 50 yards of her then she'd be doomed to a very stressful experience at any course I'm familiar with. 

 

Golf course etiquette, like any kind of etiquette, is a normative concept. The norms in golf do not afford a player a 100 yard exclusion zone around them at all times. Dave did nothing wrong, he just encountered someone with a personal hangup and it's totally up to him whether to indulge her preference or just stick to his normal (and normative) behavior. 

[caniac6]

If you drove up fast with the music on full volume, and skidded to a stop, that would be an issue, but I doubt you did that. My course is almost 70 years old, and was built by someone that used to work for Donald Ross, so most of our greens and tees are closer than 50 yards. You did nothing wrong.

[Socrates]

13 hours ago, Augster said:

I know this involves carts, and I know course design adds in, but if I’m walking and the course is backed up, I’m walking right up to the tee box and sitting on the provided bench while the other group tees off.

 

I’m not standing in some limbo between tee boxes because some hack is too scared to hit a ball in front of strangers. 

 

 

I would too (sit down).  It's kinda weird to even find benches anymore.  There are a whole bunch around here where all the benches have disappeared.

[betarhoalphadelta]

9 hours ago, 2bGood said:

 

In my experience there is allot of women golfers that don't want an audience as it make them nervous. An unhappy wife and husband with her can be a bad combo.

 

The OP was lucky it was not Jada playing the front tees. 

 

There are a lot of golfers that get nervous with an audience, not just women. Every time we're on a slow course and I see the group behind me approaching before we've teed off, it always adds to the pressure of the shot. 

 

That's said, it's not the audience's fault that they arrived 52 yards back from the tee box before the players can hit. It's an issue that all players have to deal with in this game. 

 

But I get your point. It's easier in some marriages for the husband to be a jerk to OP than to tell his wife "that's just golf, honey, you need to put it out of your mind."

 

[DaveLeeNC]

21 minutes ago, betarhoalphadelta said:

But I get your point. It's easier in some marriages for the husband to be a jerk to OP than to tell his wife "that's just golf, honey, you need to put it out of your mind."

 

That never occurred to me, but it is quite likely now that I think about it. dave

[br61]

You did nothing wrong. You were unfortunate to come within 52 yards of some superanal golfers. It wouldn't bother me if a group behind us drives up and park behind us while I'm waiting on the tee. 

[North Butte]

1 hour ago, Socrates said:

I would too (sit down).  It's kinda weird to even find benches anymore.  There are a whole bunch around here where all the benches have disappeared.

I agree, don't see them much. But I love them when I do play somewhere that has a few.

[jdl]

Doesn't sound like too big of a deal to me, hard to tell as there's a broad spectrum of overlap between people's sensitivity and situational awareness on both sides. Makes for some interesting people watching at times.

[Mr. Bean]

3 hours ago, Socrates said:

I would too (sit down).  It's kinda weird to even find benches anymore.  There are a whole bunch around here where all the benches have disappeared.

 

I carry my own stool with me, like this one .