Meeting men

[Billie Jean]

Hi all,

 

At the risk of sounding like a creep, here goes...one of the reasons I picked up golf in my thirties was to meet more people but I'm finding that it hasn't necessarily helped.Does anyone have any tips on how I can meet single men who are not too old for me (40s) while playing golf? i feel like people who play golf together on a course for example, are there as part of a social circle and aren't necessarily interested in talking to a stranger.

Thanks

[trav]

Your name is pretty androgynous, but I assume your female. I guess understanding if this is romantic or platonic would help drive the conversation. 

[chipa]

In today's dysfunctional society I think the golf course is a good as place as any for single people looking to meet a mate(men and women). As a young man completely clueless about women and relationships(I grew up in the 70's, sex drugs and rock and roll) I am now a father of three young ladies and now have a different perspective.

 

Since our society has put everything backwards the easiest approach I think is always start out with mutual interests as friends - like golf. Then the waters can be tested without so much stress and if there is sincere interest it has a good chance of developing. I'm Catholic BTW and believe in the traditional way of men and women meeting. Goof luck.

[Billie Jean]

@travcorrect assumption. romantic.

[Billie Jean]

@chipa it's tough because, in my experience people don't go up to groups/people they don't know on a course. People stick with the people they know.

[trav]

Do you play out of a club or at random courses?  Out of a club will be challenging, as most people join as families.  My club is a bit younger, so we have a few single guys but I think that's a bit of an outlier. 

 

If public golf, I think its just like anything else.  Be around there for a while and become a regular.  Develop a relationship with other regulars and use their network to find someone.  Online dating is always an option, and you can indicate your hobby is golf.  I met my future wife on a dating app, we both love golf, and she's everything I could ever want.

 

I guess its just all a matter of putting yourself out there, but I would wager you know that already.

[TwistedSister]

with what is going on in the world... MOST people are not gonna walk up too close to anyone they do not know.

[Greenie]

In my area they have social sport groups you can join. The offer many activities that you can sign up for. I am married and 60. My wife and I joined. It is a social group. We did it for the activities and to make new friends. There are people of all ages in the group. Many single people do it looking to make new friends and possible romance. Some are just looking for for friends and to have someone to do activities with. I'd look for something like that to join in your area. 

 

On the course I'd say it is hard to make new friends. Especially right now with covid. I go out as a single a lot. I always ask other singles to join up if they want. I've met a lot of nice people that way but not any that I ever made friends with. I don't know if you are going out as a single or not but I'd say you would have a better chance like that. Maybe look at joining a league. Check out the leagues offered and pick one with the people similiar in age to you to join.

 

 

[caniac6]

You might want to get in with a group of women that play, first. One of the ladies might be able to introduce you to some single men.

[Socrates]

Back in the late 80's, I worked at a real busy public course.  This was back in the day when bookings were rare and people actually just showed up and waited their turn.  There were a few ladies that would come out in the late afternoons to play.  Once I knew what their intentions were, I would pair them up with guys approx. their age.  They would get 2-4 hrs to figure out whether or not it they had something to pursue (dinner, another date) or "nice meeting you, bye."  One of them actually married a guy she met on the course in the 1st year of this.

 

That was from another era and in this day and age, I would recommend a dating app for your age bracket and start with golf games.  Four hrs in a public setting seems quite a safe way to figure out if they are worthy or not.  There are a few "singles" groups or various clubs that golf around here and I wouldn't be surprised that there are some in your area.  Just a matter of finding them.  Ask at a proshop if they have groups like that golfing and they might be able to tell you when they play if they don't have a contact number.

 

Or like Caniac6 just said.

[chipa]

4 hours ago, Billie Jean said:

@chipa it's tough because, in my experience people don't go up to groups/people they don't know on a course. People stick with the people they know.

 

I used to play a lot of golf in various public courses in the afternoon and most of the time I was fit in as a single. I got to meet a of people, even a few women as well. Playing with just one girlfriend might be helpful too. If you are a pretty good golfer that could help as well as they always attract people hoping their technique might rub off.

[blueonblack]

The most exposure you might find to the opposite sex may be at the range, primarily, as everyone is in closer proximity "all in a line." I am guilty of having my head on a swivel when at the range. Heck, there was even a gal with a PXG visor on at the grocery the other week, and you're darn right I chatted her up. (Married, doah!)

 

There are some golfers' singles sites, but they haven't had a ton of members years ago when I might peruse them.

 

Put on your shortest golf skort and post a pic on here and you'll probably get proposals... 😉

 

Wear a PXG visor to the store....

Edited October 11, 2020 by blueonblack

[davep043]

A friend of mine met his wife through an association for single golfers, I'm not sure what it was called.  A very quick internet search brought this one up

https://www.singlesgolf.com/

as well as a few others.  If nothing else, you may find other people to play with, start your own "golfing circle".  At best, you just might meet someone you actually want to get to know better.  

[theebdk]

Really depends if you are a member of a private or semi-private club.  But a public course could be good too.  The more mixed group activities you can do the better.  Take a few clinics if the course offers them.  Are there fun tournaments to play in where you can socialize after the round.  We have mixed match play.  Is there a special after work league.  Perhaps join the ladies golf association and meet a lot of members at the 19th hole. 

[mokedaddy]

Yes it can be intimidating since a lot of people tend to play with the same groups. Another problem I’ve noticed is that if people play golf by themselves they tend to be more introverted so the challenge is striking up a conversation.  Once the ice is broken however it is usually easy for them to open up but you may have to go out of your comfort zone and just start talking to people.  
You may actually have good luck on a site like this too but it may just depend on where you are located.

[HappyGilmoresBoots]

Have you considered a league?

[harolease]

If you are interested in other sports. I was inVolved with group of tennis players and we had this social night to play once a week and sometimes drink afterwards.   We had one guy and gal fancy each other meeting up from this group and got married few years later 

 

[FlyingAce]

I belong to a private club and joined the womens association to find playing partners. But most women I met were more interested in the social aspect of golf and someone always knows someone else who is looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend. And they love playing matchmaker!

I used to practice at the range every day and it is quite rare to see women at the range all the time. A few guys have approached me to strike up conversations and asked to play a round or two. I have also had guys come up to offer swing tips when I was a beginner and sucked at hitting. Once I became good, less guys approached me unless they are really good golfers themselves.  I am married and not looking so nothing came out of these friendly exchanges.

Join a few golf sites, and ask to join people in your area for a game or two if you are comfortable playing with strangers. 

[cardoustie]

Are you a big hitter?  Lads dig the long ball

[cristphoto]

As previously posted, I suggest joining a league.  It's a fun event and typically there is a social hour after where you have the chance to mingle.  

[Fairway14]

12 hours ago, Billie Jean said:

Hi all,

 

At the risk of sounding like a creep, here goes...one of the reasons I picked up golf in my thirties was to meet more people but I'm finding that it hasn't necessarily helped.Does anyone have any tips on how I can meet single men who are not too old for me (40s) while playing golf? i feel like people who play golf together on a course for example, are there as part of a social circle and aren't necessarily interested in talking to a stranger.

Thanks

 

"Meeting new people" is actually an integral part of the game of golf. Are you a beginner skill level player or more advanced than that ?

[Billie Jean]

@Fairway14 totally beginner

[ArtMBgolf]

Have a female golf partner, then get tee times as a twosome.  
On busy courses you will get paired with some men, could be too young or 
old, but you never know.   
  
If you can play fast enough with good etiquette, you could go play as a 
single.   Just don't be a liability if a beginner.   Maybe get better first before 
doing that, or go in the afternoon/evening.   
  
Practice on the range a lot.    The better the range odds are the better the quality 
of golfers.    Guys that might have an interest in you are more likely to start 
talking or giving tips.    Take lessons, especially if the pros are in your age range.        

[Fairway14]

9 hours ago, Billie Jean said:

@Fairway14 totally beginner

 

If you think you like the game the best path for a beginner to take is learning technique. To do that one needs to have an instruction book, videos, or take lessons from a competent instructor. To learn it takes lots of practice hours at a driving range and, or, par 3 course. 

Once a beginner gets the skills to strike a ball consistently straight then playing a course becomes fun and, or, rewarding.

The social aspect of golf and, or, meeting people becomes much easier once a player has the skills to properly play a course.

[kmay__]

Interesting to read this from a female perspective. When I see women at the course I generally leave them alone (I'm not very outgoing to begin with) But especially in an environment like that, I assume they are there to play their game and enjoy time with their group and not be pestered by others. 

 

So I would suggest simply saying hello and trying to strike up a quick conversation if you see someone who you'd like to get to know. They may very well be happy to engage you if you instigate, where otherwise they might leave you alone thinking you aren't interested in that type of interaction. 

 

(In my mind when I see women on the course, the last thing I could imagine them wanting is me talking to them lol) 

[LeoLeo99]

I got paired up with a woman my age (50s) a couple years ago on a twilight round.  It was getting kind of dark on the 17th tee but she insisted we had time to one more hole.  So, with the moon light twinkling off her pretty eyes we teed off.  It was dark by the time we reached the 17th green and only the moonlight to see our way.  She wasn't in a rush to get back to her car. 

 

One of the challenges is that many men remove their wedding rings when they play.  

[geochitown]

This woman runs a ladies in golf podcast, meetups at 5irongolf cities, etc.

Might be good to check one of these out, meet other ladies and maybe meet their friends.

----

https://twitter.com/AbbyLiebs

 

I host Fore the Ladies events and podcasts

 

-----

 

Working on your golf game with lessons, etc might also increase your chances.

 

All the best!!!!

 

[sheppy335]

I will say this, on the golf course you will see the person's true side. Very few people hide who they are out there.

 

I Would try the get a freind to play with you, that way you are put in a foursome, you need to be open and talkative. 

 

When i was younger and single i loved when ladies played in my group. It was a great way to meet ladies, you have something in common and like i said you have 2 to 4 hours to get to know them. I hope all works out for you. 

[pseudoswede]

🎶 You don't have to be lonely. At golfers only dot com. 🎶

 

As someone who's been married 20 years, I cannot offer that much advice. My guess is to find tee sheets with two spots available, you take the third, and a single will have to take the fourth spot. As also mentioned above, I would also probably join a ladies' league and develop a social network through that--many of whom should be able to set you up with single men.

Edited October 19, 2020 by pseudoswede

[T-MAC]

As already mentioned, spend more time on the range.  This will solve 2 issues:  You get to spend time working on your game, which you probably need since you're a beginner.  Plus, men are more likely/ willing to strike up a conversation and/or give you some tips on the range versus on the course while in the middle of a round (especially if the course is busy).
Nothing wrong with you asking for advice either, especially if there is something specific you are working on.  Unless the guy is there practicing for a big money match or is in a hurry, I'm sure he would be willing to talk with you and offer some tips.
You may want to see what HIS swing looks like first though before taking that advice.  😉
If you REALLY want to catch a guys eye..............buy a cool putter or some cool, custom headcovers.  It will give guys a reason to start up a conversation. 🙂

Edited October 22, 2020 by T-MAC