Letting a group play through

[Jvoom30]

Got into an argument the other day with a buddy about when to let a group pass. It ended with him and I both leaving the course early. I still feel confident in my position but was looking here and could not find a post. When is the best time to let a group play through.

 

Full context:

 

We are a 4some, course is not really busy at all. We are teeing off and as we are teeing off a twosome pulls up right behind our carts. This is typically a big no no as most courses have an on deck spot. While we are still teeing off one of the twosome members phone starts ringing and he answers it. Nothing else happens and we play the hole. On the second hole some in my group are saying we should let them through. I say let's keep playing as we were playing fast as a 4 and they had already had me heated. 

 

Third hole same debate, we keep playing we tee off on next hole which is a par 5 which is followed by a short par 4. I say let's keep playing as the twosome is still on the last hole on the green instead of just waiting on the tee box for them to finish the hole and arrive. We had to do some looking for a tee shot and the person had to drop and is like lets wave the 2 through, and I am like no why would you wave a group through in the middle of a hole. He then felt rushed on his next couple of shots which did not go well. 

 

I can't help his feeling rushed as I tell him all the time to take his time and not rush. That's a different problem altogether. 

 

My feeling is if it was me I wouldn't want a group to wave me through in the middle of a hole and much rather on a start of a hole and I knew the next hole was a shorty.

 

They felt differently.

 

So when do you let a group through; during a hole or at a start of one, and should I have even let them through after their poor form on the first tee. I had felt if you let them through in the middle of a hole it is the same feeling of rushed and not really knowing what was behind them. 

 

I of course would just let my buddy win next time as they are the type of player that can feel pressure in these type of situations. But as I said the 2some put be in a bad place right off the bat and I was not in the mood to be so kind to them especially when we were on pace or faster. 

[Girevik]

I'm always very afraid of holding people up, so my opinion may not be the norm.  But if it were me and a twosome rolled up on my foursome on the tee of a hole, as long as there a decent gap between us and the next group, I'd finish teeing off and let them take the tee and play through.

[Wham49]

37 minutes ago, Jvoom30 said:

Got into an argument the other day with a buddy about when to let a group pass. It ended with him and I both leaving the course early. I still feel confident in my position but was looking here and could not find a post. When is the best time to let a group play through.

 

Full context:

 

We are a 4some, course is not really busy at all. We are teeing off and as we are teeing off a twosome pulls up right behind our carts. This is typically a big no no as most courses have an on deck spot. While we are still teeing off one of the twosome members phone starts ringing and he answers it. Nothing else happens and we play the hole. On the second hole some in my group are saying we should let them through. I say let's keep playing as we were playing fast as a 4 and they had already had me heated. 

 

Third hole same debate, we keep playing we tee off on next hole which is a par 5 which is followed by a short par 4. I say let's keep playing as the twosome is still on the last hole on the green instead of just waiting on the tee box for them to finish the hole and arrive. We had to do some looking for a tee shot and the person had to drop and is like lets wave the 2 through, and I am like no why would you wave a group through in the middle of a hole. He then felt rushed on his next couple of shots which did not go well. 

 

I can't help his feeling rushed as I tell him all the time to take his time and not rush. That's a different problem altogether. 

 

My feeling is if it was me I wouldn't want a group to wave me through in the middle of a hole and much rather on a start of a hole and I knew the next hole was a shorty.

 

They felt differently.

 

So when do you let a group through; during a hole or at a start of one, and should I have even let them through after their poor form on the first tee. I had felt if you let them through in the middle of a hole it is the same feeling of rushed and not really knowing what was behind them. 

 

I of course would just let my buddy win next time as they are the type of player that can feel pressure in these type of situations. But as I said the 2some put be in a bad place right off the bat and I was not in the mood to be so kind to them especially when we were on pace or faster. 

if you don't want people lined up behind you making noise let them through, if a 2 some is waiting for you on the tee box, that is a very good indication that you need to let them through

 

I let them go through usually at a tee box, but if we tee off and people show up, we let them tee off then wait to hit our second shots. Maybe they were not happy becasue you froze them out a little

Edited June 2, 2022 by Wham49

[596]

We would have let them play through as soon as they pulled up behind us.  Especially if there was no one in front of you that you were waiting for.  

 

I HATE, and I mean it, having people waiting behind us if we are not waiting for people in front. We let everyone through if there's room in front.

 

BTW. When playing alone and I catch people in front, if there is an open hole, I don't wait to be asked to play through, I ask if they mind if I skip ahead.  I skip the hole and play on. 

Edited June 2, 2022 by 596

[ND2005]

1 hour ago, Jvoom30 said:

So when do you let a group through; during a hole or at a start of one, and should I have even let them through after their poor form on the first tee. I had felt if you let them through in the middle of a hole it is the same feeling of rushed and not really knowing what was behind them. 

 

 If you are holding a group up and there is space in front - you let them through anytime the moment conveniently presents itself. Beginning of hole, middle of hole, doesn't matter. 

 

Bottom line is you were upset at them and tried to flex on them, stubbornly refusing multiple opportunities to let them through to try and put them in their place. Your partners were right. 

Edited June 2, 2022 by ND2005

[Is Golf Fun or Work]

As OP said course wasn't busy, and the 2some pulled up on first tee, should have let them go ahead....we would have.

[Abh159]

If they are waiting on you, and there is at least one open hole in front of you then you let them through. Period.

 

The fact that you were upset with them because they answered a phone call before they ever even teed off is both irrelevant and a little ridiculous....

[texcellence86]

Generally, If i see a group behind me always waiting on every shot for 2-3 holes, I let them pass on the next par 3.

[NJBigFish22]

If I’m waiting on group in front probably not let them play through, if nobody is in front, I will have them play through.

[caniac6]

38 minutes ago, Is Golf Fun or Work said:

As OP said course wasn't busy, and the 2some pulled up on first tee, should have let them go ahead....we would have.

This. Also, been playing about 50 years, and have never seen an “on deck” spot.

Edited June 2, 2022 by caniac6

[Bonneville85308]

I would have let them go ahead on the first tee. Otherwise once out on the course, I would wave them through as soon as they were in a position to do so (i. e. on the same tee or  same hole as my group and within one shot) and there was open space ahead.

[rd1959]

Can't we all just get along?

[tatertot]

You were wrong on every possible point.

[ChipStrokes]

Just now, tatertot said:

You were wrong on every possible point.

and everyone had a bad day because of it!

 

 

[me05501]

The first tee would have been the most logical place to swap spots (or at least offer it to them).

 

The easiest way I’ve found to let people through is to all hit one shot together and then let the guys playing through move on.

 

For example, you’d all six tee off on the same hole at the same time and all proceed to where your tee shots landed, but your foursome would wait at their balls while the passing twosome played on. 

[me05501]

On a side note to the OP, I used to be sort of like you might be…super anxious and on edge about what was happening around, in front of or behind my group. I had “rabbit ears” and wanted silence during my turn to play. Any little thing could throw me off my game.

 

I can’t tell you I’m 100% cured of it, but with age and experience I’ve realized that I was often hurting myself and my own enjoyment of the game and making it awkward with my playing partners too. I don’t ever remember a positive outcome from being stressed out while playing golf. 
 

I’d encourage you to try to find peace out there wherever you can. It’s better. 

[SE Gamer]

So you didn't let them play through on the first tee because of a phone call that you perceived as some sort of micro-aggression. Then continued to double-down, holding a grudge throughout the round. And subsequently ruined the round for you and your buddy in the process. Yeah... that seems like it was worth it. 

 

You were in the wrong. Maybe work on being less high strung and sensitive. And try to make it right with your buddies before you get yourself booted/uninvited from future rounds altogether.

 

ETA: OP, if you're looking for an avatar, this one might be appropriate.

 

 

Edited June 2, 2022 by SE Gamer

[T_Golf_23]

1 hour ago, me05501 said:

The first tee would have been the most logical place to swap spots (or at least offer it to them).

 

The easiest way I’ve found to let people through is to all hit one shot together and then let the guys playing through move on.

 

For example, you’d all six tee off on the same hole at the same time and all proceed to where your tee shots landed, but your foursome would wait at their balls while the passing twosome played on. 

I agree with this. Chances are one person in the 4some is looking for a ball. This way, they play through…. You get to look for your ball…. Everyone wins and you all keep pace of play. 
 

now I want to present a little twist…. Was this a private club where you know the people??? If so this can change the answer dramatically. For example, if they were low handicappers who play fast, let them go. 
 

if they are slow and known to play behind pace, especially compared to my group…. This may be more situational. I have seen certain twosome play 4 hour rounds ….. heck, just this morning I saw it. 

[Augster]

Wow. 
 

Let them through. It’s that simple. You’re a 4, they are 2 in one cart. They’d be through in 2 minutes or

less. 
 

Here is how playing through works. 
 

If they are putting out on the previous green and your group has hit your tee shots, hang back, offer them to play through. Then they hit their tee balls and ALL of you head out and play as a 6-some (in this case). If everyone finds their ball at the same time, all 6, again, hit their approach shots to the green. Then let the other group putt out first and they are gone. 
 

In the middle of a hole, when your group is looking for a ball, you turn and face the tee box, raise your arm up high, then wave for them to hit up. If they decide to hit up, stand to the side. After they hit, your group hits their approach shots and then waits for the other group to hit theirs. Then you all go to the green. They putt out first, and are gone. 
 

We had a single on foot play through our foursome one time. I timed exactly how much “extra” we had to wait for him. It was 35 seconds. Mostly while he putted. 
 

I still have no idea why you didn’t let them swap tee times with you on the first tee. Seems pretty obvious that a 2-some in a cart is going to have to play through a group of 4 geezers at some point. 

 

[OttoVonBizMarkie]

 

Cue the polka music.

[SNIPERBBB]

First you need to realize that anytime you have a play though situation, its always going to be awkward for both parties. The sooner you can get it over with, the better.

 

As to the waving through during the middle of the hole. I'm not a fan of this unless all four of you cant find your balls. Too much chance for miscommunication(its like someone trying to wave you through at an intersection but the persson has tinted windows or you're looking into the sun), plus the safety aspect and it makes things even more awkward.

Edited June 3, 2022 by SNIPERBBB

[ArtMBgolf]

While it was rude to ride up on you at the first tee and maybe the phone ring was planned, it 
would have been better for all to have them play through on hole #1.   Then you could also have a 
more relaxing round.   
  
Middle of a hole is OK if you have a lost ball.  
  
So did you ever let them through?     

[Jvoom30]

28 minutes ago, ArtMBgolf said:

While it was rude to ride up on you at the first tee and maybe the phone ring was planned, it 
would have been better for all to have them play through on hole #1.   Then you could also have a 
more relaxing round.   
  
Middle of a hole is OK if you have a lost ball.  
  
So did you ever let them through?     

I do not know I left after 4 holes. I presented the question and appreciate the response.

 

However, I do not understand why so many ppl agree that a twosome who was trying to essentially bumrush off the first tee and take calls when we were hitting just gets a pass. 
 

For those who have not seen an on deck spot is it the norm that you just park your cart right behind the group in front of you while they are teeing off. Then take calls. 
 

Again I appreciate the response and I have learned my lesson.

[Augster]

Are you still going on about keeping a twosome, in a cart, behind you? If you’re waiting on every single shot, then don’t let them through. 
 

But on the first tee? They are going to be faster than you are. Grow up. Swap tee time spots. 
 

I really don’t see the relevance to the group behind you taking calls before they are on the course, and your group not letting them through. Were you somehow trying to “teach them a lesson” by wasting their time, playing slowly, and not letting them through? 
 

I can guarantee any lesson you were trying to teach them didn’t sink in. Also, it seems, your need to “teach them something” (I still don’t know what) resulted in you leaving after 4 holes. 
 

This whole story is bizarre. But all of this could be avoided if you just stick to this mantra:

 

Let faster groups play through. 
 

You are welcome. 
 

[Schulzmc]

30 minutes ago, Jvoom30 said:

For those who have not seen an on deck spot is it the norm that you just park your cart right behind the group in front of you while they are teeing off. Then take calls. 

 

I still have no idea what an “on deck spot” is. I’ve been golfing for over 50 years and probably played 300+ courses and have never seen one.

[nsxguy]

1 hour ago, Jvoom30 said:

However, I do not understand why so many ppl agree that a twosome who was trying to essentially bumrush off the first tee and take calls when we were hitting just gets a pass.

 

You've given zero proof that is what they/he was trying to do.

 

That is your assumption; no doubt an attempt to deflect attention from your bad behavior.

[grm24]

2 hours ago, ArtMBgolf said:

While it was rude to ride up on you at the first tee and maybe the phone ring was planned, it 

You really believe some random group is driving to the first tee and having a planned phone call ringing just as they arrive at the tee? Good grief the stuff people believe.

[SE Gamer]

5 hours ago, Jvoom30 said:

I do not know I left after 4 holes. I presented the question and appreciate the response.

 

However, I do not understand why so many ppl agree that a twosome who was trying to essentially bumrush off the first tee and take calls when we were hitting just gets a pass. 
 

For those who have not seen an on deck spot is it the norm that you just park your cart right behind the group in front of you while they are teeing off. Then take calls. 
 

Again I appreciate the response and I have learned my lesson.

 

The two bolded portions can't really live in the same universe. But I will give you credit for at least suggesting you appreciate the feedback and are willing to learn from it.

 

#1 - I've never seen an "on deck" spot. And I've been playing golf for over 30 years. With least 10 of those years working at a number of golf courses. The ranger/tee master sends you to the tee. You go to the tee. 

 

#2 - I see no evidence that this other group was trying (which implies intentionality) to bumrush and annoy you with phone calls. Is it great etiquette? No, not really. Is it bad enough that it would warrant a second thought? Absolutely not. I would bet my next month's salary that this other group was entirely oblivious to the perceived slight that they caused you. 

 

#3 - Since you were immediately thrown into a tizzy by this group of guys behaving badly, why not just let them through for that reason alone? If you were worried and bothered by the idea that they would be right on your tail, taking phone calls, the solution was simple. Let them through. 

 

My honest advice to you at this point is, should a similar situation/decision arise. Defer to your playing partners. They seem to have better judgement, and then you don't even need to think about it. Just roll with whatever they decide, focus on your game, and enjoy the time out there.

[ChipStrokes]

12 hours ago, Jvoom30 said:

He then felt rushed on his next couple of shots which did not go well. 

 

I can't help his feeling rushed as I tell him all the time to take his time and not rush.

yes you can. he feels rushed because you won’t let the group that you’re holding up play through. 

12 hours ago, Jvoom30 said:

I of course would just let my buddy win next time as they are the type of player that can feel pressure in these type of situations.

you say this, but you’re the one who let this get under your skin, not your buddy. let him “win” next time because he’s right, and you might actually make the turn. 

[Imp]

8 hours ago, Schulzmc said:

 

I still have no idea what an “on deck spot” is. I’ve been golfing for over 50 years and probably played 300+ courses and have never seen one.

I've played at a few courses (mostly resort courses) where the starter will hold back the group "on deck" about 50 yds back, tell them the routine, rules, etc... until the group on the tee has teed off and left. But, in my experience, that's not the norm at most your public courses. As was said in the OP, "This is typically a big no no as most courses have an on deck spot." No. Not it isn't the norm, nor is it a no-no. Maybe on ultra private courses?

If the starter said/allowed the move up, that's on the course.

If there was no starter? Then there should be no expectation of them hanging back, and instead went up to watch these guys hit off and celebrate their awesome shots. With the phone ringing, I'm sure that was an indicator to put it on silent. All on the OP and level of expectations that never existed.

Here's another vote that the OP seems to be wound as tight as Judge Smails with Czervik rolling up behind him (I mean, that's exactly how I read his post the 2nd time through, and seems to almost match the stereotype).

Edited June 3, 2022 by Imp