The "You love/care about golf more than you do me" argument with spouse/significant other

[golfnhack]

Sigh...

 

Just curious how many of you have to deal with this, how often, and how you handle it?

[Dr.Frankenputz]

1. Whenever she wants me to watch the kids so she can do something I try to always say yes & try not to ever complain.

2. I try to gently remind her that I don’t do anything else besides family, work, & golf.

3. I don’t get worked up anymore when she’s cranky after I get back from golfing.

Good luck.

 

[ProphetLogic]

"It must have been hard for you to admit that, I'm going to the range so you can have some time to yourself to comes to terms with it."

[Petunia Sprinkle]

The correct answer is "and...?"

 

Fortunately, Mrs. Sprinkle is enthusiastic and supportive of me playing the game. Whenever I leave for a course or the range, she says "don't hit yourself in the head." (I've hit myself twice in the head, so that's not out of nowhere.)

[bthomps33]

This should be a good topic.. can't wait to read the replies. :nyam:

[sheppy335]

My wife is very supportive of my golf habit. She says it is better than me doing other things or going to the bar. She encouraged me to join a league and play more golf.

 

I am also very understanding when i can't golf because of family things, or i ask in case i am not sure if i should or not. She also knows when i come home i help out with the kids and house with no question asked. Plus i slowed my golf down when my girls were little so i could be home to help, as they have aged my golf increased.

[Z1ggy16]

I get the joking flack from mine... the whole "WOW... Golf again!!???!?!?!?"

 

"Uhhh babe, I played 1 week ago... -___- "

 

but part of me knows shes actually serious and just doesn't want to come off as controling. I suspect once the whole kids thing happen... I definitely won't be golfing anymore. I'll be lucky to play a few times a year.

[mukster]

I say that to my wife all the time.

[cwglum]

"C'mon, we both know it's been almost 3 full days since my last round ..."

[gripandrip]

I got my wife into the game, and we play together at least once a week. Now she plays in a league, and I golf with my buddies.

[hurricanes7]

considered asking my wife to play, but then realized i would rather listen to her complain that i play golf, then to listen to her complain DURING golf.

[WHC888]

I told my gf when we started dating,

#1 my family

#2 my work

#3 my golf

#4 my car

#5 you

 

I'm surprised that we're still together!! :cheesy:

[DavePelz4]

When Mrs. Pelz says this my response is "Get in the kitchen and make me a pie."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thankfully, that response is only in my head because she'd beat the cr*p outta me if it was actually uttered.

[rymail00]

Luckily we never have that problem, cuz come winter and home all the time I think she prays for an early spring :D

 

Actually there was one argument and it was 2 years ago when I wanted to skip her family's Thanksgiving dinner cuz we had a way late run of great weather here.....I lost that one..... lol.

[GLF4EVR]

Good luck on the mission you have chose. Need an emoji that is banging it's head against the wall.

 

Coming on 36 years together. She has been involved with horses since the pre-teens. I started playing again 10-12 years back. So have always used the analogy that golf to me is like horses to her. It's worked so far. There are times I get home & can tell she is mad that I was out playing.....but I do not have to hear about it. Now attitude may be different, hence back to my 1st statement.

 

One thing for advise..when you are right, you are wrong.....when you are wrong, shut up fast & stay shutted-up!

[wkuo3]

Allow some private time for the wife and don't complain when she bought the 4th pair of new shoes - this month.

 

Get back in the house before 10 A.M. on the weekend during the Summer long daytime hours, so the family could do things together.

[8thehardway]

"Oh baby, don't leave. Two rounds in one day is asking a lot but it was for the club championship; still, that staff bag was way too heavy for you."

[sdandrea]

Occasionally, I need to remind SWMBO how much she loves me.?

 

Seriously, I have heard those words, and when I do, I ask why she feels that way, and LISTEN. She will exaggerate, of course, in anger, but somewhere in the answer are clues that I might be overdoing it. I take an introspective look.

[daveltb]

IMO spouse / significant other is a BIG difference. Also kids / no kids is another dividing line. Personally (spouse/ no kids) I encourage her to do something with her girlfriends / family instead of sitting home feeling sorry for herself while I'm playing golf. Her going shopping is OK too. It's never an "or else" situation and there are times I prefer to do things with her over playing golf. Most times I don't have to make a choice.

[hurricanes7]

and we got married because ?

[Benkross]

I'm very lucky. My wife is happy that I'm golfing and not out drinking or causing trouble. Once we have kids, I don't think I'll play the 125 rounds I did in 2017. How did i play that many living in NYC? I played all through the winter. I need help.

 

[rxk9fan]

I certainly wish there was a magic pill for this one but in reality this can be a serious issue. When I was younger I would try to fall back on the "at least I am not out doing something worse" line (and actually believing that should work).....now looking back at that I can see that had the same chance of working as me trying to hit a Hogen Apex 1 iron. In her eyes I was gone and regardless of what I was doing gone was gone.

I was playing at least twice a week and hitting balls at least twice a week.....and for some reason my wife thought she was not important to me???? After enough fighting and resentment for some reason I tried to look at the equation from her side. I thought there is no way I would put up with her being gone 4 or 5 days of the week and then watch her catch up on chores the other two days and feel like I meant much to her.

I could not find it in myself to play and not work at it so I quit. I resented having to quit something I loved, so I had to search for an answer. Here is where the magic happened and boys if you want an answer that will work grab you a pen and pencil cause here I go.....I found a way to quit golf and not resent not being on the course. I started riding fast motorcycles for short distances and once the car did a U-turn in front of me and I flipped over it compound fracturing both arms...presto! I eventually got out of ICU and spent the next (lots of) months rehabbing. I was no longer on the course and quit thinking about the course because I could barely wipe my own a**. I could not feed myself and my wife was there for me and I appreciated her.

After 9 years of no golf I finally started back this year. But, I have cut it back to one or two rounds a week and one or two practice sessions a week ...OK, not much of a cut back BUT this time around she thinks I am working for most practice sessions and sometime one of the weekly rounds.

So, crash a bike and then come back but don't tell her how much you are golfing. My synopsis:

Crash a bike to bring you closer and then when you start back lie to the most important person in your life.

It works!!

[BNGL]

Happened all the time, and she left. After about 20 chances and an ultimatum, ironically we're both working in golf she's having a decent career playing and I'm working as a superintendent. Yu might be puzzled, she played golf and didn't understand why you were playing?!? Well I always put golf ahead of her...always. I had a ticket to go visit over the holidays that she bought and I said no, there's a couple events I need to play. In away I was too immature and selfish to realize how great I had, but it just wasn't meant to be.

At the time it really sucked, for a year I was stupid depressed for pretty much all of 2015-2016. I buried myself in work, drove away a lot of people in my life. BUT golf was an escape for me, had a couple buddies that I played with that stuck by me, and made sure we played golf everyday and hung out a few times a week. It would be a waste f I did not grow from it, and I think that I have, at least hope that I have!

 

 

[Soloman1]

There are over 3.7 billion, (BILLION!) women in the world.

 

There is only one game of gof.

[mattw387]

A lot of great advice in here. It’s all about compromise like many said. We’re in our first year of marriage - and I’m lucky she’s very easy going and supportive. She has no interest in the game but understands its importance to me. I make time for her, wake up early before my tee time to do chores (like raking the leaves at 5:30AM this fall) so I have time to do things with her after the round.

 

Skip the 19th hole beers and head straight home. She’s your partner - show her respect and she will show you the same.

[deadsolid...shank]

Well, eventually (30+ years for me), she really doesn’t give a s**t if you’re home or not.

[augustgolf]

"You're back from golfing? I didn't even know you were gone"

[deadsolid...shank]

"You're back from golfing? I didn't even know you were gone"

 

“You didn’t need to hurry home”.

[Loki]

First thing I told my girl friend, now wife, I play golf one day a weekend, and ski one day a weekend (seasons don't overlap), if you can't deal with that, let's end this right now. For 15 years that was fine. Then last summer she tells me that she has an issue with me playing in all these tourneys?!?! We have a dog but aren't able to have kids so I am not sure what the issue is, yet. Not sure what changed...it's going to be an interesting spring and summer finding out how much golf I will be allowed to play.

[RSinSG]

I've been able to play golf through 41 years of marriage. It takes a lot of give and take, and mostly its give but the benefits of that giving are worth the effort. When my kids were young (at one time I had 5 of them 8 years old and younger) I didn't get to play that often. Typically I'd get out once or twice a month, and my wife understood that I really enjoyed the time to myself. Conversely, I always made sure she was able to to the "alone" things that she wanted to do.

 

Like GLF4EVR my wife has horses. I don't ride them, but I do get the hay, stack the hay, give the hay to the horses, and then clean up the hay the next day when they're done with it. She has that hobby and her crafting and I have golf and guns/reloading. Now that I'm retired we have a lot of time to do things together, and time for our own diversions. It took a long time to get here, but as others have said - do your part to take care of her needs first and you'll have a much easier time getting your golf fix.