Etiquette when finding items while on the (public) course. Two recent stories

[skaarsgard]

So, I'll tell a story of two recent occasions that still have me scratching my head.   Would love to hear your thoughts.

 

A few weekends back (the day before the College Football National Championship) I was in Houston and went out to play an expensive round as a single on a public course I don't often play.  I got paired with a couple of execs from Washington University in town for the game - cool/ fun pairing.  It was an average Sunday game - groups every ten minutes but it moved fairly well aside for a couple of the difficult par 3's where a minor congestion appeared.   Behind us was a drunk/ rowdy group of mid-fifties guys with a couple sporting U. Michigan Sweaters/ hats that hit up on us a couple times while we were waiting for the group ahead to clear.  Nothing big, just a couple of accidents.

 

In the south, it's normal to rotate your glove every 3-6 holes for humidity.  So I have three with me every round and mix them up frequently.  After the ninth or so hole, I lost one glove that I didn't realize until about 2 holes later (must have flown out the back of the cart).  After teeing up a par 5 where we'd have to wait, I drove back to the prior hole to see if that group found my glove.   Here's how that interaction went.

 

I drove in the direction of the hole where one was lining up his putt (waiting a fair distance and letting him putt before disturbing).  I pulled up to the green area and asked the guys if they had seen my glove.  This wasn't a normal Kirkland glove but a very premium navy blue Cuater glove that is probably the softest glove I have ever used due to conditioning and oiling it every round or two so I can imagine what they thought when finding it.   

 

After I asked if someone had seen the glove, one guy on the left in Michigan clothes responded with "yes"... then a long silence.  After about 10-15 seconds, I asked, "Can you tell me where?"  The same guy pointed to a mid-fifties looking guy saying he found it.   Meanwhile the guy who found it said nothing the whole time.  I responded, "Right on... Thanks!"  and proceeded to walk to the green.  While walking up the man who responded (all Michigan clothes) asked me if I went to Michigan and during this time the man with the glove pulled it out of his front left pocket.  When I responded in a laughing manner, "Nah man, I went to Cal" the guy with my glove stopped walking towards me to show it was in his pocket.   Completely confused by seeing the glove in his pocket, I sarcastically asked, "were you wearing the glove!?!"   He raised his voice and responded, "Hold On!" then turned around and was doing something with the glove.  Still confused at the entire situation I waited to see him then turn around and have my glove sticking out of his trousers.  This man unzipped his pants, put my glove there, pointed at his crouch and demanded me to "Come get your glove".  There was a good 50 feet between us at this point.

 

...

 

I'm not a little man.   Taller than most, I look like military, police, football player, wrestler all at the same time... now mostly non-confrontational I don't often have encounters like this unless some drunk gets brave or tries to impress his friends.  I was dumbfounded, shocked, disturbed, unprepared, angered, rageful - all these thoughts and emotions, all at once - and unfortunately, my responses were very loud and aggressively stern.  "WTF is the matter with you!?!   Are you f-ing retarded!?!   I'm not your friend, you don't know me."  all while walking directly at him and unknowingly clenching my fists.   He had the nerve to tell me "You need to lighten up - it's all fun and games."   I could see all three men with putters in their hands on the green and realized this wasn't the time (no time is right to fight in golf, no time) so at that point I just wanted to end the situation and leave.   He realized I wasn't in the fun and games mood and handed me my glove instead of me having to get it.   I slapped and took my glove from his apologetically limp hand, called him an A-hole and walked away.  

 

On the way to the cart, I wanted blood.  I wanted to tip his cart, throw his clubs, piss on his equipment, go back and slap this man... whatever, I wasn't prepared for the encounter I just had.  Finally, civility kicked in and I left the situation.

 

For the remainder of the round they played very slow in what seemed intentionally keeping a full hole between us.   However, for the rest of that round, I was wound up.  In fact for the next few days, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened - I was completely bothered by the whole encounter.  

 

One, is it normal to wear someone else's glove?   I'd never...   I could understand those needing equipment maybe bagging the thing and playing dumb, but to wear the glove immediately and then want to embarrass the person who lost it all seems so foreign to me.  Still, wearing someone else's glove?

 

Two, it has always seemed to me the proper thing to do when finding items on the course goes like this:   you leave it in your cart for people who return, you head up to the groups in front of you attempting to return their items and lastly, return to the pro shop at the end of the round.   I've succumbed to the fact that dropped range finders often get bagged and hidden immediately, everything else, generally gets returned on the course.  Nice new stuff has a good chance to end up in someone's trunk at a public course vs. private obviously but never during these interactions should there get to a point of fighting... that's not what golfing is about.

 

Thoughts?

 

And yeah, I kept the glove but won't ever wear it again... should just throw it away.   

 

Edited January 25 by skaarsgard

[Hawkeye77]

If none of the finger holes were stretched he's no Michigan man!

 

I've honestly never considered found glove etiquette, but I can assure you I'm not touching someone else's glove laying about on the course and you've validated my feelings about that so it's staying right where somebody dropped it, lol.

 

I count just one story, if the next one is even better, I'm staying up until you type it.

 

 

Edited January 25 by Hawkeye77

[skaarsgard]

Second story, this past Sunday also while in Houston, it was freezing cold.  Froze the night prior, playing in the low to mid 30's, I bought some cold weather FootJoy gloves to play with on the way to a course I had never tried before because they'd promise to have some of the fastest greens in all of Houston.   Figured I could practice in tough conditions and traveled an hour to this course.  

 

It wasn't terribly busy... mostly tons of locals from the early tee times and my "single" noon tee time had groups 8 holes ahead of me and only a two some behind me which allowed a good mixture of playing slow on a new course and practicing in freezing, hard pan conditions.   Was kind of stoked for the round.

 

After two holes slapping a double and single bogey, I knew the gloves weren't for me - they sucked - as they moved too much in the swing and my shots were erratic.   So, I played a normal glove and kept the warm glove on the off hand.   The extra front hand glove went into the cart.    

 

I noticed about ten holes later when it started getting colder, that new glove was missing.  So, I back tracked.   The group behind me were noobs and let others play through them. 

 

A random single walker appeared on the tee box behind me, asked him if he had seen it and it was a no. 

 

The next group I stumbled upon one man had my type glove on but it was his opposite hand.  His main hand had a regular glove.  When I asked him if he had seen my glove he said no these were his.  I was confused because it looked new but the glove hand he showed me was the same off hand glove I was wearing.   So I knew he was telling the truth but did show me under his main hand glove he was wearing the warm glove.   Mentioned having the gloves for two years.   Anyway, I learned something new - gotta get a very large leather glove and wear it over the warm glove.... nice.

 

I thanked him and continued back tracking.  I finally found the culprits.  They were on a tee box... for etiquette, kept a safe distance and let them tee off before approaching.   Once I started approaching, they looked at me and took off.   I finally caught them when they stopped by their errant tee shots near the woods and asked the dreaded question:  "Hey guys, I dropped my glove earlier - have you seen it?"   The passenger responded with a "Nuh uh" and I looked at the driver for his response - he then held up his left hand and said, "This glove?  Is THIS your glove?"   Again, just two weeks later I was dumbfounded... what is going on here?    I responded with, "Yeah, that's my glove"

 

He took it off and handed it to me without any unnecessary ruckus in which I replied sarcastically (obviously still jaded by my previous experience), "You've been wearing my glove this whole time?"  

 

His response was that he was "blessed to have found this warm glove on a freezing day".    I wanted to talk about etiquette and that being weird but instead drove away scratching my head...

 

WHAT is it with finding / wearing people's gloves?  Obviously this is another public course and the unwritten rules are going to be unknown to many but some things seem obvious. 

 

Is this just a Houston thing?   

 

A public course thing?

 

What is it?

 

Maybe times are changing and I'm growing into a carmudgeon. 

 

Anyway, I am going to wash this thing in the washer because it was new and wasn't (from what I can tell) on someone's c--k.

 

Thanks for spending time hearing my rants...

Edited January 25 by skaarsgard

[skaarsgard]

26 minutes ago, Hawkeye77 said:

If none of the finger holes were stretched he's no Michigan man!

 

I've honestly never considered found glove etiquette, but I can assure you I'm not touching someone else's glove laying about on the course and you've validated my feelings about that so it's staying right where somebody dropped it, lol.

 

I count just one story, if the next one is even better, I'm staying up until you type it.

 

 

Done.   Sorry, nowhere near as long or eventful, just becoming too consistent... and weird.

[Hawkeye77]

Great stories but . . . . was there some childhood trauma with your cat Mittens? 😀 

 

This is almost like Queeg searching for strawberries, and I'm having flashbacks to the watch story in "Pulp Fiction", but damn fun to read about and I hope cathartic to relate them!  

 

I've gone on a quest for wedges I left greenside over the years and a rangefinder once, but never a glove.   

 

Not sure about the public course angle - but I'm sure the country clubbers are more likely to have a written rule about this.  Houston - nah, I see Texans as staunch on support for property - you probably were running into tourists from Jersey.

 

May your evening be peaceful and mind those gloves!

[skaarsgard]

Thanks for the replies.   Definitely going to have to pay more attention to where I leave these "mittens" in the cart.   It's never been a problem before and I don't drink often so pretty sure it's not the booze either. 

 

Luckily, it's only been gloves.   Not clubs or a putter, or worse, wallet.

 

Just dumb, stupid gloves.

Edited January 25 by skaarsgard

[NJBigFish22]

After these 2 instances, you need to play without the glove.  When I wore gloves, I would have several in my bag, when I sweated through, would put in a ziploc and grab a new 1.  I never hooked to my bag, tossed in the cart or kept in back pocket.  I guess you need to develop a better system for when not on your hand.  

[caniac6]

Don’t take your gloves off. Jack putted with his glove on. He did okay. Plus, it’s just a glove. No way am I going back several groups, and getting bent out of shape over a glove.

Edited January 25 by caniac6

[skaarsgard]

thanks for the replies...  obviously I've admitted losing gloves twice recently and spoke to needing a new behavior around storing my gloves.   up until these past two events, I've never gone back for a glove but one was new and the other was polished, oiled and taken care of.   i understand my part in all of this and spoke to paying more attention to not "slipping" in the future.  in the past, I've lost gloves, i left them lost - never went back for them.

 

i did have bigger questions around behavior and etiquette being the main point of the tales.

 

 

Edited January 25 by skaarsgard

[PickItUpGolf]

I hate wearing my own glove after a few holes usually, why the heck would I want to wear someone else's that I found?

 

You're not wrong to think that's weird at all imo

 

Ewww

[No_Catchy_Nickname]

Yeah, picking up a random dropped glove and using it is a bit weird.

 

Picking up a random dropped glove then slipping it on your Wee Driver and demanding the owner "come get it" is even weirder.

[Hot Rod 71]

You’re not wrong. I would be pissed off in both of these scenarios. It seems some people don’t have the same level of respect for another’s property that they had 10-20 years ago. It’s sad.

 

I’m like you - I would have put the lost item in my cart and been on the lookout for its owner to double back looking for it. If no one approached me to claim it, I would’ve taken to the pro shop.
 

The last thing I would want to do is put someone else’s used, sweaty glove on my hand or down my pants. 

[third-times-a-charm]

I think you need a lanyard for your gloves. Maybe one of these retractable access card thingies:

 

Edited January 25 by third-times-a-charm

[skaarsgard]

Thanks for the recommendation but completely missing the bigger point of the story.    Though, no worries - just wanted to tell the story as I was so caught off guard two weeks ago that I still think about it. 

 

To have a much more civilized, yet similar scenario happen two weeks later is why I decided to spend the time typing and posting about it.

 

 

[tatertot]

People are weird ... We had a guy post in here about finding a club on course and using it during the round before turning it in. It's just a sense of entitlement. 

[jdcho]

As a Cal and Michigan grad, I’m somewhat amused and appalled at the same time.  J/K.  
 

I don’t wear a glove so I wouldn’t think about putting on a found glove but I suspect it’s kinda like using a found towel to blow your nose only to return it to the owner when asked.  
 

I try to apply the golden rule on the golf course (repair if disturbed, returned if found).  Sorry you had to experience what you did.  Piss poor actions by Michigan fans/grads/alums.  
 

 

 

[elwhippy]

At my club there are three options. One is leave it on the window sill outside the clubhouse. Two is leave in plain sight in the locker room. Three is hand in a Pro shop. The idea of keeping a found item would be alien to our membership. 

[Mookieb10]

Oiled and softened? You treat your golf gloves better than I treated my catchers mitt as a kid. 

[Valtiel]

6 hours ago, skaarsgard said:

Behind us was a drunk/ rowdy group of mid-fifties guys with a couple sporting U. Michigan Sweaters/ hats

 

This explains all of it IMO. You're approaching the whole situation with a dead sober state of mind and they were probably hammered and messing around in the way hammered people mess around. Likely making up stories about why you were "taking so long" when they hit up on you, laughing at the fact that they actually made contact well enough to even get close, and generally participating in a spirited round of hijinks and general tomfoolery, the kind that would really get under the skin of anyone else with the misfortune of being sober around it, lol. They found your glove and likely made a bunch of jokes about how they'd give it back to you, the kind that would have seemed infinitely clever and hilarious when ****faced but obnoxious and inconsiderate if not.

I wouldn't read so much into it. Had you been 3 cocktails deep you might have played along and offered to get it out of his pants with your teeth and one upped them to the point where you become the crazy dude they tell stories about that tried to bite one of their di*** off. 😂

 

Edited January 25 by Valtiel

[mat562]

A few years back I lost my watch on the first tee of my club. It was my own fault, in that I turned up to the tee for a casual fourball a bit late and had to take off my watch, get my 1-iron out of the bag (that's how long ago it was), pull on my glove, all whilst being heckled by my friends. I absent-mindedly plopped my watch down onto the ball pocket of my carry bag and teed off. I then picked up my bag and strode off down the fairway, unknowingly having dislodged the watch which would have fallen onto the closely mown teeing ground in what would have been full view if I'd had a reason to turn around.

 

Long story short, I realised at the end of the round that my watch was missing, but quickly surmised what had happened. I hung around for the following group, but they said they hadn't seen a watch. I let my friend, the assistant pro know what had happened, assuming that someone would hand it in in due course. Maybe the following group had teed off from the forward tees, I thought. Someone will have teed off from the back set at some point, and they're bound to have found it. I was lucky enough to play at a nice course, with the usual assortment of affluent members, so I assumed it would be handed in before long because, well, that's what I would do. You guessed it.

 

It still bothers me to this day that I never got it back. Some people are just arseholes. Or thieves.

 

 

Edited January 25 by mat562

[bigred90gt]

I honestly do not think I would have had as much forethought as you did when you retrieved your glove from crotch guy. I'm certain I would have wound up with a hand full of his junk, and he would have wound up curled up in a ball from the squeeze. The level of disrespect it takes to do that to a random stranger is just foreign to me. I'm too old for nonsense like that. 

 

Living in Houston and playing all of my golf in the area, at which courses did these events unfold? 

[stryper]

12 hours ago, NJBigFish22 said:

After these 2 instances, you need to play without the glove.  

My first thought upon reading this…Freddy Couples probably never has this problem. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[MattM97]

You know that string with the clips that mothers put in jackets of their kids so they wouldn't lose their gloves? Maybe a good investment. 

 

But also seeing how other people act doesn't surprise me at all the things people do, just don't believe it until you see it. 

[Ferguson]

I am not defending theft or lack of etiquette on the golf course.  In fact, over the years, I have searched out people to return everything from clubs, to cameras, a Bluetooth speaker and even a wallet.  I have no idea how someone could steal something.  It's beyond me. 

What happened to Mat and his watch is reprehensible. 

 

To the glove guy: 

In situation #1, I think the tension started when they hit up on your group and the golf glove thing just made it worse.  In both cases, you put yourself in tough spots by dropping equipment.  Perhaps use fewer gloves?  

 

 

 

To everyone else, why is it that we throw etiquette to the wind when it comes to golf balls?  

If a person picks up a golf ball while playing that is not his ball, that person is stealing, correct? 

 

 

    

 

[LeoLeo99]

I don't pick up lost towels or gloves.  Maybe a winter mitten but not a leather glove.  

 

 

[Mascot]

43 minutes ago, Ferguson said:

To everyone else, why is it that we throw etiquette to the wind when it comes to golf balls?  

If a person picks up a golf ball while playing that is not his ball, that person is stealing, correct?

If I've already deemed that ball "lost" I could care less what anyone does with it after finding it 50yds in the woods.

 

If my ball is still in play and its picked up by a stranger?  We're throwing hands

[Ferguson]

Just now, Mascot said:

If I've already deemed that ball "lost" I could care less what anyone does with it after finding it 50yds in the woods.

 

If my ball is still in play and its picked up by a stranger?  We're throwing hands

 

Excellent point and I trust you can handle yourself if things come to blows.  

 

However, just a word of advice for someone relatively new to this forum.  A vast majority (if not all) WRXers are never in the woods. 

We usually park it out there 310-315 middle of the fairway. 

 

And welcome by the way. 

 

 

 

[Velcade]

Getting in a fight over something minor is silly.  That guy doesn't mean anything to you why let him ruin the rest of your day? 

 

Should he have put the glove in his pants, no.  Should you have left your glove, no.  I would have thrown it away and learned to track my possessions better. Or piss all over the glove and leave it for him to pick up and wear again... 

[Mascot]

17 minutes ago, Ferguson said:

However, just a word of advice for someone relatively new to this forum.  A vast majority (if not all) WRXers are never in the woods. 

We usually park it out there 310-315 middle of the fairway. 

 

And welcome by the way.

Thank you!

 

I've heard WRXers can hit it 310-315 once they hit 5k comments and display their full bag description in their signature

 

Only 4.9k more comments to go...

[Mascot]

4 minutes ago, Velcade said:

Getting in a fight over something minor is silly.  That guy doesn't mean anything to you why let him ruin the rest of your day? 

 

Should he have put the glove in his pants, no.  Should you have left your glove, no.  I would have thrown it away and learned to track my possessions better. Or piss all over the glove and leave it for him to pick up and wear again... 

You're right, fights are never worth it but I would've taken offense to the glove thing too.  That's a joke you can pull off with your homies, not some stranger who's trying to get their stuff back.  Definitely weird and kinda gross.

 

I'm sure he felt like a dunce once the OP left and that shows since they kept their distance the rest of the round.