That one guy you HATE playing with...

[Nels55]

60 yards is a nine o'clock 56 degree or 7:30 7 iron if I want to chip and run it in there. Also about a 3/4 lob wedge. LOL I will not necessarily hit the shot that distance or on line for that matter but I do have the stock shots in theory anyway.

[Roy_Donk]

Got paired with an all-timer yesterday:

 

Talked politics five separate timesHoods drive OB right on #2, laughs bc he hasn’t “lost a ball on this course in a year”; loses at least 8 by the round’s endKnows every tour player in townSorta hit bombs but ruins each one with a “C’mon!!!” or “That’s what I’m talkin about!!!”Dropped an extra ball next to EVERY approach shot and putt so he could practice (re-hit) if he didn’t like his first tryI probably beat him by 8 -10 shots but every time I hit a good drive or tight approach, he’d shout “that’s more like it!”Had to one-up anything anyone said about equipment, travel, work, kids, courses playedRemarks on 13 that he usually has 3 or 4 birdies by now. At this point, he maybe had 3 pars

 

[chocolate_rehab]

Too many practice swings (more than 1-2 is excessive, hit the damn ball)Excessive anger/throwing clubsTelling me or anyone you don't know why they missed ("Ooh, thinned that one."). This is honestly the one that will make me karate chop you. Just STFU.I don't care what you're wearing or playing with. I care 0% about people using foot wedges, "I never play this badly," or anything like that. Your scorecard is your business. I just try to have fun and have a good vibe and people that are generally chill are my favorite playing partners.

[farmer]

Roy mentioned above I had forgotten. We had a guy who hit an extra ball constantly, to the point that it became a danger. You never knew when the "mad ball" was going to be in the air.

[sshadow2]

Got paired with one guy the other day. Here's my list:

Monologuing every shot he was prepared to make the entire roundConstantly topping the ball on the tee and announcing out loud that he didn't understand why Constantly walking to my ball, thinking it was his, even when I'm already standing next to it, when he really either lost his ball in the tall grass (links course), or was 30 yards or more shorter.I found his ball more often than he did...again 30 yards further back from mineOne time I told him where his ball landed (lost in a ditch 30 yards back). Said, "no it didn't" just a little too loudly and proceeded to look around (20 yards past my ball) for it for the next 5 mins.By the 16th hole, we were over 30 mins behind the group in front of us in large part from him alone.If was an expensive course (compared to my usual) and I had no fun that day.

[cardoustie]

Yikes, what a clown

[adl300]

just move on. its time to find another group and another tee time. life is too short. i am always used to playing with family and i can't imagine always playing with a guy that you don't like. this is golf and life is too short.

[MelloYello]

Honestly, I think I'm the weirdo that nobody likes. And I don't blame people. I'm not really fun or funny. I used to have a lot of fun with people when I was a teenager. I had lots of friends and was a cut-up but somehow my 20s were a disaster and I spent that period mostly just being by myself. I got way depressed somewhere around 25 and didn't really know if I wanted to keep going. Somehow I think I became way uncomfortable in social situations after growing up totally normal. I think the hardest part about depression is that it makes you feel totally subhuman for basically all eternity. It's like you know deep down you're weak and worthless and somehow you have to build up a character on top of that. And I don't mean worthless because you can't do things. I mean worthless because you don't want to do things. Anyhow, I think that period basically ruined me. It's like I unlearned how to act around other people. I'm okay in groups. I don't break social rules per se. I think I'm just boring AF.

I don't really have any personality to speak of. It's like somehow that all drained out of me years ago. I'm blank and robotic and don't really have much ability establish a rapport with people. What's more, I have a lot of non-golf interests that nobody else seems to share so people are even less interesting as a result. I guess in some way I'm not really into people anymore if that makes sense. Like politics and all that is just, IDK, not pointless, just boring.

I just say stuff that other humans say (e.g. "nice ball"). But I guess it's all fake. It doesn't feel earnest. And then I'll start saying it too much and I feel like I'm being too chatty so I'll stop and then I feel like I'm being anti-social when someone does crush a drive or something that warrants a comment. It's that sort of awkwardness that makes me just want to not participate some times. Like, why am I trying to do this if it's not working?

And in the end I just feel like a weirdo--the guy who people don't mind playing with but don't especially want to play with again. But I get it. I don't do any of the obvious annoying stuff. I'm not an idiot. I'm just not entertaining to anyone. That seems to have been that case for many years now.

So for me the hardest part of golf right now is finding a reason to do it and trying to manage the unbelievably uncomfortable social mandates the game imposes. It seems like 10 years ago when I started it was all about hitting shots and just liking the experience of playing. Truth be told, I'm not entirely sure I give 2 craps about whether or not I hit good shots anymore. I just feel rather empty when it comes to that aspect. But somehow quitting feels like giving up. And that amounts to admitting defeat. I don't know if that's good.

So anyway, to answer the question, I think people can be bad partners even when they don't mean to be. I think someone who wants to be can still easily fail and end up being rather annoying for more subtle reasons.

[chippa13]

I was never the best person with strangers and one of the things that helped me with it was heading to the course as a single and being paired up on the first tee.

One of the stranger days I've had on the course was one time where I got paired with another guy on the first tee. Outside of exchanging names on the first tee box, I don't think we said another thing to each other until the round was over. It was very weird but he didn't seem interested in interacting at all. It was like playing alone.

[HyzerFlipDG]

Hey I'm really not sure how to fully respond to what you wrote, but I know of one thing I definitely want to say: I'm glad you're still here and chose to keep going.

[caniac6]

My guy is just a chore to play with. Everything that has happened in his life is someone's fault besides his. He brings up politics a lot. Makes a lot of blanket statements about people in the south. Says that problems that happen in the south never happened in the north where he came from. I come home, and just feel beat down. He's trying to learn how to play the guitar, and knows 3 chords. I've been playing over 25 years, but he won't take any advice, and acts like he knows it all. I've been a member at my course for ten years, and the pro just about lets me do whatever I want, but I'm thinking of leaving just to get away from this knucklehead. If I actually wrote some of the things he has said, I don't think anyone would believe me.

[MelloYello]

Woah...that's creepy!

[MelloYello]

Thanks, man. I appreciate the kind words.

I just joined a new club and I think I'm really obsessing a little too much with trying to make a positive impression with people. I'm really probably too critical of myself. I've made a lot of acquaintances but IDK, sometimes you just don't click with someone and it's a shame. Still find it hard to really connect with folks though. It's a struggle for me for sure.

[cadoipi]

This is coming from someone who has struggled with chronic depression for 20+ years: Please seek out medical treatment for help and if you are already being treated look into getting your medications adjusted. You don't even need to see a psychologist, you can see a GP or a nurse practitioner. I was stuck in a terrible state for the past few years and it took going to a different doctor to get on a new class of drugs to get me headed out of the pit. I know as least some of your pain and I you need to remind yourself that what you are experiencing is not "you" and it can get better.

No one is keeping track of when or who says "good ball" to them and you don't need to be entertaining. Also almost no one means "good ball" earnestly unless they are talking to their teammate, someone they are coaching, or it is a truly fantastic shot. As far as being anxious about interacting with people on the golf course, as long as you are not a pompous ass hole, whiner, or rage monster, don't distract them from trying to play, and keep up pace of play, no one really cares. Likely you already know this, but don't "feel it" and that is ok. Maybe try golfing some solo walking rounds if you don't feel up to interacting with people somedays.

I have seen you make lots of great comments on this site, so I know you have good things to share with people in real life!

[chippa13]

That's the thing with those of us who can tend to be on the quieter side. If we say something, we generally mean it and feel it is worth saying, otherwise we don't say it. If I say "Good ball" it darn sure was in my opinion.

[sheldonjhacker]

I prefer that to some clowns who can't shut up and yap about NOTHING for 18 holes.

[cardoustie]

Hey @MelloYello … it's OK to feel awkward at times and you don't have to run a commentary of witty one liners on the course either. I'd much prefer your style than the endless yapper that talks about nothing or spews info like he's an expert on every subjectI was in my own pit with some family issues, my Mom and dog dying (plus 3 aunts and uncles and mother in law). Get someone to talk to with buddyI will agree with you that the older I get generally the less I like people@Melcheeley What interests do you have outside of golf?

[deadsolid...shank]

[huskydawg]

Are you me? I'm pretty much the same way minus the teenager part. I did have depression in my 20s, but I don't think I have it now or at least is managed okay. I have a good amount of earnestness for gaming and listening to music, but definitely not for work. I feel like I'm dragging around a 30 pound weight mentally when I'm working. I've noticed recently that I have too much empathy for my surroundings and people affect my mood and how I speak or act too easily. I have to be aware of it or else it can be overwhelming. Don't worry about having the perfect conversation, many people can't talk unless they're drunk or they have to pull up the same story or joke 5 times in a row. Being aware of my hyper-empathy makes me looser and more relaxed because I can look at that part of me objectively and let it go.

Not sure if it applies to you but I hope it can help in some way.

[Outpost31]

Why wouldn't you just tell the guy you're done playing with him vs leaving your club? That just seems extreme.

[caniac6]

First of all, I would rather not create conflict. I have been trying to play with other groups to get away from him.

[kmay__]

How old are you guys? I'm 31, what you and especially Mello are saying is like exactly how I feel. Getting tough now with all the social circle being married and having kids, still being the single loser dude in my group. Think it is probably time to get some help I guess before its irreversible.

[thesamwise]

Fellas, I can almost guarantee that you think more negatively about yourself than other people do.

I agree with the other posters here--find a way to share some of these thoughts with someone you trust, be it a buddy, a therapist, whatever.

Your negative thoughts about yourself are not you as other people experience you.

[Outpost31]

This guy sounds really miserable. Good luck and I hope you're able to hook up with some good guys and start to enjoy your golf a bit more.

[caniac6]

Played 9 with him early this morning, and he was ok. If we can talk sports, he's good, but I play to get away from current events. It's kind of weird, most of the time he's ok, but when he's bad, he's really bad. I never know which guy will show up. Anyway, thanks for your good wishes.

[LeftDaddy]

I got paired with a group of younger dudes once, and one of the guys was apparently convinced he was longer than me because he went up to my ball every single time, yet his was always a good 20 yards behind me. He was the longest of his buddies, and so I guess it was his “identity”, but it got old after a while. He was also the kind of guy that didn’t seem to know what ball he or I were playing, because as we strode up to our balls I would always have to speed up to make sure he didn’t hit my ball. I gave him the benefit of he doubt for a while because sometimes we took different angles or I’d mishit one or take a different club, etc. But finally on the 12th hole is where I’d had enough. We all hit driver on a straight hole and mine was 20 yards ahead of the pack. I’m not claiming to be a bomber at all, just long enough that in a random sampling of 3 other golfers occasionally I’m the longest (and was for sure this day). So anyway, he heads up to my ball and is about to hit it and I have to yell at him to check the ball. He does, says it is his, and I have to say “Are you sure? Check again because this ball is an x and I was playing a y”. So he checks and says “that’s weird, this is a y. What is that one again?” Anyway, after a little back and forth he seemed incredulous that I insist that he is at my ball and comes back to his and says “Damn, that’s weird. I could have sworn I was hitting y”.

His buddies gave him a little crap and he piped down a bit for the remaining 6 holes. Still...was annoying to have to constantly prove that he was at my ball and not his because he just assumed he was longer.

[Liveonce]

takes too long between shots/ too many practice swings. We had let a group play through and within 3 holes had 3 groups backed up againgetting paired with another 2 or 3 some that wants to talk and ask questions about life the entire time Who I’ve never met, yet I try to be courteous . I’m there to golf

[soregongolfer]

YEARS ago, I got paired with the ultimate example of #1. He started by standing behind his ball and imagining the shot we wanted to hit. Then he would take 10-15 practice swings behind the ball. Then he would take another 5-6 practice swings while along side the ball. Then he'd finally hit and topped every single shot I saw him take. We got to the fourth tee and I looked at my watch. We had been out for 90 minutes. The fourth fairway runs along side the clubhouse and I excused myself saying I had a doctor's appointment. Instead I started over on #1. I caught him on #6 lol.

[Liveonce]

Lol. If it ever happens to me again I’m just jumping ahead or doing what you did. Worst feeling ever

[soregongolfer]

Oh, I forgot to mention he froze over the ball for a good 30 seconds each time as well. It was brutal. He did let me play through though.