Inanities ubiquitous to every golf broadcast...

[dlygrisse]

3 hours ago, BlueDragonKorea said:

Even better, when Dottie Pepper says the lie was bad after a player hits a bad shot, not before. Dottie Pepper doesn’t add anything of interest to the broadcast.

Dottie is the queen of creating hyperbole out of the mundane. 

[dlygrisse]

Well.....he has a new driver in the bag this week, and he says he is just killing it. 
 

(cough, cough, the announcer and the player both are sponsored by Taylormade)

[tiderider]

"you got to use every club in the bag on this course", he said as he hit his 14th wedge of the day ... 

 

or 

 

"you really have to think your way around this golf course", he said as he hit driver over the bend/bunkers for the 14th time that day ... 

[Terry Gold]

"It's only a matter of time until (Finau/Rahm/ Rickie/ Hovland (?), et. al.(-- Insert any hot young gun or ATM 'underachiever' who is featured in coverage") he will take that big next step and secure his first major. 

"Right, and you know once they get that first one, the floodgates will certainly open to many more"

Edited August 30, 2020 by Terry Gold

[straightshot7]

"Here's Jordan Spieth tapping in for bogey"

[Oh Hi Carl]

All the golf announcers who think that "height" ends in "th" just because "width" and "length" do.  

[Catty]

“He’s got a good look at a birdie.” Hate it. 

[LeoLeo99]

Another old school throw back:  Not his best effort

 

And whenever a young journeyman wins a tournament, they talk about how he'll break out and win a lot more tournaments.  Even though, we all know, he was putting out of his mind and rode it to victory and it's not sustainable long term.  Although, as a fan, it's great to see a guy that's been on tour 5 years finally win a tournament.

[Naptime]

Ordaining the next Tiger after a couple wins.

[Whereismydivot]

Or...What announcers will never say again: "They bikini wax the greens here" . Gary McCord banned from the Masters coverage.

And I second the Dan Hicks critique.  Blatherer,

[FakeClubPro]

I get sick about hearing about how some guy went to so and so university.

 

I miss Johnny Miller.   "Hey Rog - what are we looking at.."  Or something like.

[miamistomp]

 I miss Jimmy Demaret calling the fringe around the green " frog hair"

 I puke when I hear them dragging out their high school castillian to lisp through Miguel Ángel Jiménez:  ( HEE men  ethhh)

Edited September 1, 2020 by miamistomp

[braincramp52]

He's got no chance. Usually said just before someone knocks down the pin for a tap in.

[Greg_B]

One of my old favorites was from Ken Venturi: "This putt is so fast it's like putting down a marble staircase."

 

Ken also liked to use the phrase "Ho down!" when a ball was scooting along heading towards trouble.

 

These days almost anything used in discussion of Tiger during a tournament could be called an inanity:

 

"He's going for his 83rd Tour win this week!" in event previews/early round coverage.

 

"He's in good position to make a run" after shooting 1 or 2 over in the first round and being 6 off the lead.

 

"He just needs a couple of good rounds on the weekend" after grinding to make the cut on the number.

 

"Watch out!" after he makes a few early birdies in round 3 before going on to shoot 40 on the back.

 

"Remember how often we've seen him hit this kind of shot close" while standing over a bad lie in the rough for the umpteenth time on Sunday while 12 shots off the lead and then hitting it to 50 feet.

[Greg_B]

6 minutes ago, braincramp52 said:

He's got no chance. Usually said just before someone knocks down the pin for a tap in.

 

This is a variation on the line made famous by Bob Rosburg working as an on-course reporter in the '70s on ABC Golf in their glory days. Rossie would look at a bad lie in the rough and dismissively say to Jim McKay in the tower "He's got no shot, Jim". Often the result would be as you described, leading to hilarity. Despite that, Rossie was great in those days.

[GolfTurkey]

Anyone describing Bryson as a physicist or scientist.

[GolfTurkey]

Built like a linebacker...used to be Tiger, then Brooks and now BDC.

[No_Catchy_Nickname]

On 8/29/2020 at 4:31 PM, mahonie said:

‘He couldn’t have walked it out there and placed it any better.’

 

This one right here. Guy hits it close on a par three. Commentator: "He couldn't have walked it out there and placed it any better."

Yes, he could have. He could have put it in the hole.

 

Guy hits a drive down the middle on a par four. Commentator: "He couldn't have walked it out there and placed it any better."

Yes, he could have. He could have put it in the hole.

 

Guy hits a drive down the middle on a par five. Commentator: "He couldn't have walked it out there and placed it any better."

Yes, he could have. He could have put it in the hole.

[iBanesto]

"Great touch for a big man."

 

A sentence out of context may cause some problems.

[ChillyDipper]

In reference to someone's caddy: ", who is a great player in his own right."

[jdl]

Not quite a fit for this thread but it always seems that after the announcers bemoan the bad luck of a guy's tee shot ending up in a divot, that guy then sticks the approach shot within 10' or so.

 

See also the dreaded one-handed follow through swing.

[Superbrit]

"He came over the top on that one"

 

That Radar guy says it all the time, hate that guy!

[stingerfade]

Every time they show Snedeker putting they mention he has a “pop stroke”
 

Every time they show Paul Casey they mention his “popeye forearms”

 

[third-times-a-charm]

someone saying "hes doing yeomans work"

 

like we need phrases from the 1800's on TV in 2020

[kmck15]

"His caddie there, a good player in his own right"

[Superbrit]

Rahm - spanish hands/volatile

Casey - popeye arms

Snedeker - pop stroke

oosthuizen - perfect swing

Scott - perfect swing

Kaymer - changed his swing to hit a draw

Mcilroy - great driver

Thomas - hits it far for his size

Fowler - underachiever

Finau - short swing/underachiever

Johnson - Athletic/gun slinger (gun slinger? i mean come on!)

 

I cant be bothered to type anymore 

[MattyO1984]

20 minutes ago, kmck15 said:

"His caddie there, a good player in his own right"

 

THE CLASSIC!! 

[MattyO1984]

Surely the worst (and there is a lot of it) is the “we’ll be back right after this break” or whatever variation of yeah, that’s right, we are cutting to commercial AGAIN is. 

[MattyO1984]

Ian Baker Finch after every good drive - “that’s right in the mayors office”.

[PureStrikes54]

"the player chose to utilize the slope". There are times this is done but the majority of the time instead of just hitting to the flat part of the green near the pin the player "chose" to carry the ball 40 feet away into the fringe, spin it with some obscure sidespin, and barely catch a slope which luckily brought the ball close to the pin.