GF vs Golf

[Baitkiller]

20 minutes ago, Saltydawg15 said:

I’m married with 3 kids under 5 and I play 2-3 times a week and practice a day or two on top of that. She is totally cool with it.

 

if you’re lying now and you’re not married, leave her now it will be cheaper.

Any of those kids look like you?

Edited April 2, 2021 by Baitkiller

[PixlPutterman]

Well you've clearly outlined you care more about golf than her.......do her a favor and break up with her.

 

No one deserves to be treated like that.

 

If you dont have the balls to ask/tell her you are playing and just stand her up like that, you should probably just be single

[SylvesterLundgren]

Why is it always like this. I may be considered young (24) but I’ve had my game passed down by the OGs around me and id be damned if I have someone giving me a ultimatum over something that isn’t taking away from me. 
It’s not like I’m betting 20 a hole and I owe money to people around me. 
it really disheartens me that people have to deal with something like that. My friend acts this kinda way when we bring up golf and it always about spending time with your girl and how there’s no time cause of x,y,z. And then it’s a hypothetical ultimatum about spending time with golf over something precious. It’s like FOOK OFF, fuq that chick if she ain’t being considerate about what you’re passionate/hobby whatever. You don’t need that in your life. I believe in not leaving anything on the table and not trying to see at the end of my life about what I should’ve done. 
 

rant over, sorry I just get passionate sometimes 🤣

[MPink87]

It’s all about balance. My wife doesn’t care what I do with my free time. Golf itself is never the problem. But if all of the household responsibilities and child care fall on her because I’m out golfing all weekend every weekend, that’s not fair to her. Also not fair to constantly be skipping kids activities to go out on my own. 

At the end of the day, golf isn’t more important than my family no matter how much I want to play

[caeye0710]

My wife doesn't hate it at all. She actually used to be a hell of a player before life got in the way (kids) as well as a lingering knee issue. I rarely beat her, and I'm a mid-handicapper. 

 

She actually asks me quite a lot why I don't play much, or will mention earlier in the week on how great the weather looks and ask if I plan on playing. 

 

It's my fault I don't. I think most of the time I'd rather just be hanging out with her and our little girl. 

 

Then, come every Monday, I'm kicking myself while on conference calls. 

[bigred90gt]

On 3/19/2021 at 11:47 AM, Roody said:

I guess I'm lucky. My wife plays golf, and the weather is supposed to be pretty good up here in NY this weekend. She asked me the other day "do you want to play both days this weekend or just one of them?"

Last weekend my wife and I played on Good Friday, that Saturday, and Easter Sunday. I guess that makes me pretty lucky as well. 

[AlwaysLayUp]

I have been dealing with this for a almost 10 years now. When she is your girlfriend she is powerless. She really can't tell you what to do or think she can boss you around and stop you from playing golf on a Saturday. But, if you made plans with her and were late or bailed then I can understand why she is mad and so should you. When she is your girlfriend she is in no spot to complain.

 

When she becomes your Fiance, then things become problems because they start becoming fearful of marriage. I had to go to pre-marital therapy and the biggest contention point was how much I golf. Turns out our therapist's husband is a big golfer, belongs to 2 clubs and one of them is a men's only club. That did not work in my favor and it was a problem.

 

When she became my wife it got better. She supports me golfing because she sees how much I love it and loves me so she is supportive. I have friends whose wife gives them crap about golfing, but they also like to surf, play video games, get drinks, etc.... All I care about is golf and it's the only thing I ask for in life. I can see the benefits of being with a girl who golfs and comes from a golf family. Instead of sitting around chatting when I visit her family, would be awesome to play with her dad or siblings and play together on vacations. Unfortunately not the case for me, but the fact that she supports it is all that matters. If we go on vacation, she's good riding along for a round of golf. The challenge will be can I do my job, be a dad, and still play golf and be able to practice as well. Time will tell....

[cbyard11]

All comes down to the person, whatever makes you happy. mostly came down with me playing an extra 9 vs going home to gf

[lefthack]

My wife went with me last Sunday. She hadn't seen me play since we golfed once about 4 years ago. I've been playing 3ish days a week since last September.

 

She said "Wow, looks like you have been coming here to play and not spending time with your other family." 🤣

[Fairways_and_Greens]

If you made a commitment to your GF before the round and lied to cover your lack of accountability, that a slimy move. 

[PhilsFanDrew]

If you are at all in the serious stage of your relationship to this girl and you've discussed potential marriage I would say you are way out of line and putting your relationship on a trajectory towards failure and break up.  If this is a new relationship I wouldn't say your situation is as dire but you definitely shouldn't be making a habit out of concocting schemes and excuses to avoid confrontation with your girlfriend over your golf hobby.  If you are serious and want the relationship to evolve to a more serious state then you need to confront this and both of you need to lay the cards on the table and see if you both can come to an agreeable compromise.   If no compromise can be reached then you are both probably best served to go separate ways and see other people.  

Edited May 21, 2021 by PhilsFanDrew

[Gsea]

The guy has left the bldg. Its not defendable lets drop this thread.

[putterboy75]

This is a very good and funny thread! I am one of the lucky ones it seems, my girlfriend...soon to be fiance, is the reason why I got back into the game. When we left New York due to the pandemic, she said to me early on "I want to get really good at golf" .. which flipped the switch back to my junior tournament days I'd long forgotten for a real job. I too decided I wanted to get really good again too, and now I'm the one hitting balls at 6am / playing after work until dark, scrolling through WRX posts at 1am.

 

I realize how good I have it, we've played some great courses together (Pinehurst No. 2, No. 4, 8, Pine Needles / Mid-Pines, Dormie, Arcadia, Oakland Hills, Kiawah, some out on Long Island, the list goes on) Probably the most fun times are when we tee off at 7pm at one of the muni's in N. Michigan and walk 18 holes by 10pm just as its getting dark and we have the course all to ourselves. Money can't buy that!

 

Only issue I have is that her parents are 100% convinced now that I want to be a golf teaching professional instead of my day job.. we can't talk about golf around them anymore even though they both play! Also, I still haven't quite figured out how to handle the guaranteed once a round meltdown when my gf is hitting the ball all over the place. Somehow even after playing golf for 10+ years and having lots of lessons she doesn't have a "go to" shot to keep it in play. Any advice suggested...I've tried every approach over the years. She gets mad if I don't offer swing suggestions, mad if I do try to help without confusing her more, ever MORE pissed off if I just do my own thing. I've listened from a distance carefully when she's taking lessons to hear exactly how the instructor describes a swing change so I can use the exact words they used to try to help, but even then no luck. Recently I've just decided to say nothing and let her deal with it, but you can guess how that goes over. No way to win... but I suppose I'm better off that I'm allowed out as often as I want. 

 

Good luck to all those out there that don't have support from their significant other. Don't give up, maybe you can convert her!

 

 

[BMC]

You shouldn't be penalized for having a hobby your passionate about.  She should find one too, to have a well rounded life.

Lying ain't gonna work.

[caniac6]

The not wanting you to play will turn into "hold my purse while I try on this dress". 

[el h0zel]

Order of commitments is a big deal. Did you get the date lined up first then bail because you wanted to golf? If yes, that's pretty brutal. 

 

If you had golf on the calendar then wanted to try and grab a date, then you shouldn't need to lie about it. 

[Jwin323]

On 1/18/2021 at 5:10 AM, ChipStrokes said:

you should ask her how you should handle this situation. you know, since you already have to ask for your balls back when you get home. 

Why is it if you defer occasionally to a woman you care about you have no balls but that is never said when you acquiesce to peer pressure from your dudes?

[ChipStrokes]

7 hours ago, Jwin323 said:

Why is it if you defer occasionally to a woman you care about you have no balls but that is never said when you acquiesce to peer pressure from your dudes?

my (tongue in cheek) comment spoke more to the fact that he had to manufacture a ridiculous lie in order to do something he wanted to do. 

 

i originally missed the part where he blew off pre existing plans to play more golf - that’s not cool. 

[rp4golf]

On 1/17/2021 at 7:24 PM, Proam1 said:

She’s drawn a line in the sand, made me pull out all of the stops.

 

buddies got the best of me the other day, but I convinced them to play another 9. I really shouldn’t have, considering that I knew it would make me late for a  date-but I couldn’t help myself.

 

We devised a ridiculous plan to pretend I had a flat tire, so I had to walk home(bc my phone was dead obv 😉)

My buddy followed me home, while I left my car abandoned on the side of the road 

 

What kind of insane ways have you dealt with the age old,  gf vs golf issue?

 
Reading your post I started to reply noting how much my ex hated me playing golf, and it ending up being part of the reason we're no longer together and how my current wife all but pushes me to play ... and then I thought, wait a second, the dude dumped a planned date with his GF to drink more beers with the boys, came up with a high school scheme to cover his tracks, and is now looking for excuses on how to deal with her putting her foot down.

Bruh, this is on you; but I'll keep following, the meltdown should be hilarious.

[erikro]

Golf for me every time because nothing feels better than a pure golf shot

[TiScape]

On 1/17/2021 at 11:50 PM, aenemated said:

Guess I'm lucky. Ol girl has precisely zero interest in golf itself but is totally supportive of me and what I get out of it. She'll text mid-round and ask how I'm playing, wants to know all about it when I get home - even if just from the range. 

 

Reckon she's a bit of a unicorn. 

Nice! My GF is the same way. I consider us very fortunate. 

[Bad9]

7 hours ago, rp4golf said:

 
and then I thought, wait a second, the dude dumped a planned date with his GF to drink more beers with the boys, came up with a high school scheme to cover his tracks, and is now looking for excuses on how to deal with her putting her foot down.

Bruh, this is on you; but I'll keep following, the meltdown should be hilarious.

 

This. He did her a favour. She should run as fast as she can from this guy. Although since he hasn't come back to his thread I thought all along its just a troll.

[Jwin323]

14 hours ago, ChipStrokes said:

my (tongue in cheek) comment spoke more to the fact that he had to manufacture a ridiculous lie in order to do something he wanted to do. 

 

i originally missed the part where he blew off pre existing plans to play more golf - that’s not cool. 

My comment wasn’t directed at you. It was a general inquiry about how we as guys mock each other for lack of testicular fortitude.

[HackDaddy360]

On 4/6/2021 at 7:50 PM, MPink87 said:

It’s all about balance. My wife doesn’t care what I do with my free time. Golf itself is never the problem. But if all of the household responsibilities and child care fall on her because I’m out golfing all weekend every weekend, that’s not fair to her. Also not fair to constantly be skipping kids activities to go out on my own. 

At the end of the day, golf isn’t more important than my family no matter how much I want to play

This.  
 

Unless golf is your job, it’s going to have to take a back seat to many other obligations as time goes on.  That doesn’t mean no golf but it does mean that if you’re eventually married with kids who aren’t of age to drive in particular or in college you should be present.  Never mind work, household tasks, life, etc.  
 

I could probably play more golf than I do but I don’t abuse that freedom.   If I say “I really want to play in X” Mrs. never says no.   She also plays with me and we involve our kids in the game so it’s a family and social thing for us, too - though if I’m working on my game I’ll usually tee it up with the better players in our men’s club. 
 

I say all of that to say gents in your position should politely break up with a GF who fits the profile you’re describing.  If you’re doing sketchy stuff and lying to be yourself then the simple answer is it’s not a fit - perhaps you’re not ready for a relationship, perhaps she has control issues, who knows… but what you’re describing isn’t a healthy dynamic for a relationship at least as I see it. 
 

If you’re looking for a significant other that turns into a long-term relationship or marriage I recommend asking yourself “what’s going to be forever in my life if things work out as I hope they do?”  For me, Golf, cars and sunshine/being outdoors are things that will be around forever.  Since golf is a life-long game for many of us you won’t give up, you don’t need to spend it with someone you need to lie to.  Not fair to her in the least, either.  
 

Plenty of fish in the sea and life’s too short to give up a passion and too short to spend it sneaking around scheming how to play another 9…. Be single or find a person who fits your lifestyle and you’ll be happier. 

[A.Princey]

Life is short, and even shorter are the years of good golf. Do what makes you happy and put YOUR foot down. Don’t succumb to societal pressure and maintain a relationship if it interferes with your “real” life. Too many men fall victim to the fairer sex and lose a huge part of their true identity in the process. You do you, and let the right woman happen for you. Don’t force someone to fit into your life, let it happen naturally, or possibly not at all. Any day as a single man is miles better than one as a broken man, stuck in a dead end relationship. Ymmv!

[uitar9]

I played last night with two young guys. They both shot even par on a late night, par 36 , 9 hole course. They told me they were leaving at 6 AM to play a course west of the city. They are single and have a few days off. Outside of their jobs, golf is their life.

 

My wife and I started playing late in life. I lucked out. The kid is an adult, out of the house. She will golf with me or on her own. She doesn't care when I golf.

 

But there was a time when my son was growing up, I needed to be there to help her and be parents together.

 

My humble opinion, is that "togetherness" is a give and take. I don't get what I want, all the time.

 

If all we want is golf and sex, then there's an app for that.

 

 

[MtlJeff]

I wonder whatever happened to this dude

[jholz]

1 minute ago, MtlJeff said:

I wonder whatever happened to this dude

 

Currently working two jobs to cover alimony payments.  

[MtlJeff]

3 minutes ago, jholz said:

 

Currently working two jobs to cover alimony payments.  

 

He had plans to come back to this thread and update us --But then ditched them to play golf

 

Heyyyyyyoooooo

[Gsea]

1 hour ago, uitar9 said:

If all we want is golf and sex, then there's an app for that.

What, where